


Our Music

by AliceCarroll



Series: Our happy ending [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humour, M/M, NSFW, Smut, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 58,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceCarroll/pseuds/AliceCarroll
Summary: Yuuki is one of Zen's fans and she learns that he has been accused of harassing Echo Girl, so she decides to go to his house with the rest of the fan club to show him her support. Nevertheless, she arrives earlier that the rest and meets his idol before the rest can arrive.





	1. Cooking Pancakes Can Get Exciting if You are Listening to the Right Channel on the Radio

**Author's Note:**

> Here is chapter one of the next part of the series!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy reading Yuuki's narrative as much as I like writing it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

I was cooking breakfast the day it all started. This story begins with pancakes, as all good stories should start. I put tones of chocolate syrup and cream on them, licking my low lip while my stomach complained, impatient. I looked at it. 

“Oh, come on,” I told it.

Maybe pancakes are not the best choice for breakfast when one’s on a diet, but who can help it? I mean, I did try to have fruit for breakfast during that month, but... I mean, I just got sick of it, although it was only the third day.

I sighed, licking the cream of the fork.

The TV said something about Zen, the musical actor, so I rushed to the sofa with my beloved pancakes and turned the telly louder. If I had known what they were going to say, I wouldn’t have done that. They were interviewing that famous woman, Echo Girl, and she was saying... Zen harassed her. 

“Whaaaat?” I exclaimed.

Who the hell would believe that shit?

I logged into Twitter. The haters were everywhere, even some fans of the group I followed were suspicious. I couldn’t believe it. Do they really think Zen would do something like that? Seriously?

I thought about it. Maybe I was the one who was wrong. I had only seen him in shows and interviews, and didn’t know him personally. I knew he held fundraising parties as part of an association, but that could easily be a façade. I suddenly got an e-mail from the president of Zen’s fan-club. She was calling the members to Zen’s house to show him and the media he was not alone. I felt somehow comforted. There were more people who thought like me. I thought I would go to support him, but also to see his reactions and judge by myself.

If I was going to see Zen I had to look relatively good, which was a hard task. I opened my wardrobe. Jeans. Jeans. Old jeans. Finally, a dress. I took it and looked at it. It was that terrible childish pink dress my sister had insisted me to wear if I wanted to get a boyfriend. It was kind of cute, but really, did I need to wear it to get a boyfriend? Is every man out there so superficial? I sighed. 

“I’ll finally use you,” I told the dress. “Are you ready?”

The dress was not ready. I took off my pyjamas and try to get into it. It wouldn’t pass my ass. Seriously? Had I got that fat? It was the pancakes’ fault, not mine. I struggled with the dress and finally got into it. I couldn’t breathe. I looked at myself on the mirror. My bra was more visible than the dress.

“Stupid bra, stupid dress!” I yelled at them.

I took them both off and contemplated at my naked figure on the mirror. I wasn’t that fat. Why did my sister have to buy me clothing for Barbies?

“Stupid sister.”

I decided to have a shower while singing _The Little Mermaid_. It was always the best option for the shower.

I started to prepare the sandwiches I was going to eat on my way to Zen’s home. I put a lot of vegetables on them, and took an apple as well.

“Healthy, but tasty!” I exclaimed when I finished them.

I put some unhealthy but tasty chips and coke in the bag, together with a chocolate bar.

I went back to my room and looked at my wardrobe again, hoping that its content had magically changed with the magic of King Triton. Unfortunately, his magic was only useful to give legs to Ariel at the end of the film- oops, sorry about the spoiler. Stupid Triton.

I finally took a pair of average jeans and an average jumper. I thought about taking off my glasses at least, but come on. My outfit wasn’t elegant, why would my face be otherwise? At least I would make them combine.

I took my bag, put my headphones on and went to the underground listening to some anime music which was inevitable to sing, even if I was in the middle of the street, which I was. My neighbour waved hello at me when she saw me. She was a good-humoured woman around her fifties who had a rebellious son that didn’t live at her home, but would go and visit her when he needed some money.

“Are you going to school, sweetheart?” she said.

“I’m going to be a hero!” I exclaimed.

She laughed, nodding.

“Well done, child, well done.”

I went to the underground. I got on time to get the train without having to wait, which was great. I started eating the apple there, which made me stop singing- for the rest of the passenger’s relieve.

I arrived to Zen’s building after getting lost. I looked at the time. I was an hour earlier? Really? Was I that anxious? My Gosh.

I leaned on the building wall and started to eat my chocolate bar, chatting with a friend on Facebook while I waited. Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of me.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

It was Zen’s voice. It was Zen’s damn, I mean, beautiful voice. I almost dropped my still unfinished chocolate bar. I looked up at him and felt how my freckled face started to get red. He had body guards behind him. What the heck?

“I...” I looked down. “I’m your fan!” I exclaimed at bit too loud since I was still with my headphones on.

I took them off, embarrassed. Why the heck did I say that? Well, what else could I have said? I looked at him. He was staring at me, surprised. He chuckled and my face became redder.

“I’m sorry if I was too rude,” he said. “I thought you were one of those journalists.”

“I am not a journalist.”

I’m so good at delivering already-known information.

“I see,” he laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“I... I was going to show you our support and judge for myself whether I should consider you guilty or not,” I answered.

His face became serious. Maybe I had been a bit too honest?

“Thank you,” he said after a silence.

I looked at him again. His face had a soft expression and he seemed moved. I blushed.

“Well, and it was not only me. In fact, I was going to meet more people of your fan club here, but I arrived a bit early.”

“Is that so?” he said, surprised.

I nodded.

“I should like to wait for them here with you. Will they take too long to arrive?”

I blushed.

“Actually, I was an hour earlier.”

He laughed.

“What? Really?” he exclaimed. I blushed. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude,” he added, still laughing. “Do you want to come in and wait there? I’d feel bad leaving you outside on   
your own.”

I startled.

“Eeeeeh? No, no, no, no, no!” I exclaimed, moving my hands.

“It’s okay, you don’t bother me.”

Even if that was true, the other fans could kill me, and I appreciated my humble life.

“It’s okay, really,” I said. “I can go to that café over there.”

I started to go away, when I miserably fell on a small pool.

“Shit!”

I’m so good at falling and swearing in front of my idol. I wish I were good at things to be proud of.

That’s how I ended up in Zen’s bathroom, drying my trousers with a hair-drier, feeling absurd and miserable.

I went to the living-room when my jeans finally got dry.

“I’m so sorry,” I said for the fourth time.

“It’s fine,” he laughed. “Want something to eat?”

“Mmm... I have sandwiches. Want one?” I asked, taking them out.

“Oh, I’ll take one if you don’t mind.”

He started eating it.

“It’s tasty.”

“And healthy,” I added.

He laughed.

I finished mine in half the amount of time Zen finished his. I looked around the house and could see a lot of props of Zen’s musicals.

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “That’s from your last musical.”

I pointed out to a hat lying on his desk. He nodded, smiling. I approached it.

“Can I...?”

“Sure,” he said.

I put it on and said Zen’s phrase, mimicking him. He laughed.

“I really liked your performance in that play. I think you did better than the last actor. Wow! That’s from _Jalapeno_!” I said, too absorbed as to ask for his permission to take the prop. “I have to watch it someday, I’ve only listened to the musical,” I carelessly said.

“You’ve not watched it?” Zen asked, surprised.

I looked at him, being conscious of myself again. I put back the prop to its place.

“Oh, my, I’m sorry,” I exclaimed. “I mean, I usually listen to the music first wile doing something else and then watch it if I like it because I don’t have enough time to watch all the musicals I like,” I excused myself.

He looked really surprised. I wondered if I had offended him.

“I hope I have not offended you.”

“No,” he answered, puzzled.

I looked at him, worried.

“Oh, but in _Aladdin_ you were awesome!” I exclaimed. “I think you gave the character a personality that the actor who is playing it now’s not able to give him, his voice’s too weak. You know, when you took the lady and sang: ‘a whole new woooooorld!’” I started to sing, putting my hands as if I were holding an invisible flying carpet, “I was so moved. I liked the way your voice trembled a bit at the word ‘world’, it was awesome, so moving.”

He laughed.

“You seem to like musicals a lot,” he said.

“Of course I do!” I exclaimed.

“Which is your favourite one?”

I thought about it for a moment.

“ _The Phantom_!” I exclaimed. “Andrew Lloyd Webber is a magnificent author, the music’s so good. And the story’s beautiful too. Sierra Boggess is my favourite Christine, no doubt,” I said.

He grinned.

“Should I try to apply for the Phantom, then?”

“Nah,” I said. “I mean, if you continue as well as you’re doing it now, you’ll make a good Phantom in the future, but you are too immature as an actor yet.”

I froze. What the heck had I just said to an actor? Wait a minute. And didn’t that last question of him sound as if he were flirting?

I looked at him. He was staring at me with a serious look. Maybe I hadn’t offended him before, but now I surely had.

“You’re quite honest,” he said.

I blushed.

“People usually tell me so.”

He suddenly started laughing.

“Too immature as an actor, ha?” he repeated. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

I sighed.

“Well, and what do you think about my first musical, then? Did you watch it?” he asked with a curious look.

“I did,” I answered.

“Be honest. What did you think?”

“Mmmmm...” I thought about it for a moment. “I think you did a good job as a beginner, but the boy that’s playing your old role now does it better.”

“Ha?” Zen said, annoyed. “But I’m much more beautiful.”

I stared at him, surprised. He was quite self-conscious for sure.

“Yah, if you were a model, you’d had been better, but we’re talking about acting and singing.”

He looked surprised.

“So you like me for my talent?”

“Of course,” I replied.

He kept silent for a moment.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

I was puzzled.

“You thought I was your fan because of your looks?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

I laughed.

“Wow, when you told me you’re prettier than the other actor, I thought you were a narcissist, but now I just think you need more self-confidence,” I exclaimed.

Fuck. I should learn to shut up. I looked at him, scared. He did look a bit annoyed now.

“I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed. “I’m such a terrible human being! I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, girl,” he sighed. “Really,” he looked at my worthless self for a moment and laughed. “You’re quite strange,” he said.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Do you want something else to eat? I feel bad that I ate half your lunch?” he suddenly asked.

Okay, no I’ll say ‘no’ politely, I thought. Like a real lady.

“Sure,” damn.

He opened his fridge. It was full of beer and water.

“Mmm... I should have expected that,” he said. “Oh, but I have this,” he said, taking a small box out of one of the cupboards. “Do you like cake?”

My eyes glistered.

“I do!”

He gave me a small portion of a delicious chocolate cake, which I devoured in a minute.

“Thank you, Ze... I mean. Mmmm... Mr Hyun?”

He burst out laughing.

“Seriously?” he laughed. “Zen is okay, Gosh... You didn’t tell me your name,” he said when he finally finished laughing.

“Yuuki.”

The bell sounded. The fans had arrived. I felt a not in my stomach. Zen went to the door to open it, but I grabbed his shirt. I made him a sign to get closer to my face.

“Don’t tell them I’m here,” I asked him, whispering in his ear.

When I moved away he was blushing. He nodded.

I hid in the corridor and he opened the door, making the fans scream. They talked for a while and eventually the fans left and he closed the door again. I entered the living-room.   
It was full of chocolates, letters and presents. I realised I hadn’t brought him anything, so I was glad I gave him that sandwich. Zen was looking at the gifts and suddenly started to cry.

Oh my God, what should I do? Was he crying? Why was he crying?

I approached the sofa where he was sitting with all the presents and patted his head.

“See? They support you,” I said.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that,” he said. “I was moved.”

I shook my head.

“It’s okay.”

I looked at the clock.

“I should be going now, I’m sorry I took so much of your time,” I apologised, starting to put on my coat.

Zen shook his head.

“Thank you for coming,” he smiled. “It’s getting late, do you live too far?”

“A bit, but it’s okay, I can take the underground.”

“I feel bad leaving a lady on her own,” he replied. “Do you happen to like motorbikes?”

I startled.

“I love them.”

He took me to the garage where he had his little baby. My God, it was Zen’s famous motorbike for real.

“I’m glad you’re wearing jeans,” he said, suddenly. “It would have been a problem if you had worn a skirt.”

Yay! Average jeans: 1; pink posh dress: 0.

He gave me a helmet while he put on his and sat on his motorbike. He tapped the seat behind him.

“Come on, babe.”

So I did.

I was quite accustomed to go on motorbikes, since I used to date a guy who had one. I put my arms round Zen’s waist and let myself enjoy the speed. He was a good driver. The   
motorbike ran smoothly down the road and the wind hit violently my bare hands, but it wasn’t a bad feeling.

We soon arrived to my home. He parked in front of my house and I got off the motorbike, returning him the helmet. He took his off.

“Did you like the ride?” he asked.

“I enjoyed it a lot,” I replied, smiling.

“I’m glad you liked it, princess,” he winked.

I chuckled. He looked at me, surprised.

“Sorry,” I said. “And I apologise if I offended you anytime today, which I probably did, I’m just not very good... mmmm.... at words, I guess?”

He laughed.

“You didn’t offend me. In fact I should thank you,” I looked at him, surprised. “I was feeling quite bad after all that’s happened with Echo Girl, and you were the first person to make me laugh in the last two days.”

The blessing of the clown.

“I’m glad I was of help,” I blushed.

He smiled and took out of his pocket a packet of cigarettes.

“You smoke?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I know it’s a bad habit, but it’s difficult to overcome.”

“Whaaaat? You can’t do that!”

“My skin is still fine.”

“It’s not about your skiiiiiiiin,” I explained. “Imagine you have a kiss scene with another actress and she hates tobacco. What then? Did you know that in Gone with the Wind the actress who played Scarlet O’Hara hated to kiss the actor who played Rhett because his breath smelled like cigarettes?”

He stood there, with a cigarette in his hand, looking at me, puzzled. He ended up putting it back in the pack.

“Okay, I’ll try to do something about it.”

“Good,” I approved, feeling good with myself after saving all those poor actors who would have to share a kissing scene with Zen in the future and couldn’t stand cigarettes.

“It was really nice to meet you, Yuuki,” he said, putting on his helmet. “Enjoy the rest of your day and don’t skip your meals.”

“I won’t!” I replied, and I must say I was quite truthful to my word.

And thus, he drove away.

I went to my room and let myself fall on the bed, closing my eyes and reviewing the whole day. That’s when I assimilated it.

I had just met my idol personally. Been in his house (in pants part of the time). Ate with him. Probably offended him and been forgiven. Gone for a ride on his motorbike (embracing him). Lectured him.

What the fuck? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?

“WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!?!?!?!” I yelled.

I jumped out of the bed, hitting my foot little finger with the table.

“Ah, fuck!” I screamed.

I started to jump around my room, holding my injured foot.

“Ah, it hurts! Oh God! Oh God! Ah! Ah! God! I’m dying! I’m dying!” I started to scream.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SCREAMING? I HAVE NEIGHBOURS!

“I just hit my foooooooooooooooot!!!” I screamed louder. “Nothing weird is happening!!!!”

I made some dinner when I got calmer.

Somehow I was relieved. It was clear Zen hadn’t harassed Echo Girl, or probably something would have happened to me also in his house... when I was alone... with him... Oh, how could I be so silly?! What if something had happened? What if he had been a real pervert? How could I be so irresponsible?! I entered in lecturing mode with myself for some time.

I checked my mail before going to bed. I was too excited to sleep, so I thought maybe thinking about something else would help.

I had an e-mail of Zen’s club of fans. Apparently, we had been invited to one of his fundraising parties. It was going to be held in three days. All the club was invited which   
meant... I could go. Oh, my God.

I read the e-mail over and over again. It was going to be an elegant party. I looked at my wardrobe with hatred.

“Your content hasn’t changed with the magic of music, right?” I asked it.

Of course, and fortunately, it didn’t answer. Still, I knew it hasn’t changed. I took the phone with resignation.

“Mimi? I’m your sister. I need to ask you a favour...”


	2. Going shopping with my sister can be quite exhausting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki calls her sister so that she helps her finding a nice outfit for the RFA party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes another chapter! I hope you like it.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

“It was so fulfilling hearing that you needed a favour from me,” my sister said in a happy tone.

I sighed.

She wanted to let the important business, finding an appropriate outfit for me for the party, for the very end, and so we ended up going into every shop we passed by, buying things for her.

“You’re such a shopaholic.”

We stopped in a cafeteria to rest.

“So, what kind of party is it?” she asked.

“I told you, it’s a fundraising party.”

“So it’s not one of your freaky parties again, right? It’s an actual party.”

“Exactly.”

“But you’re going with freaky people.”

“I’m going as a member of Zen’s club of fans.”

My sister widened her eyes in surprise.

“No way, that actor who is so handsome?”

“You know him? I thought you didn’t like musicals,” I would have arched an eyerow if I knew how, so I arched the two of them.

“I don’t, but I like handsome men.”

I don’t think I need to clarify this, but as I’m good at giving information people already know, I’ll say it: my sister and I are very different.

She is literally obsessed with fashion and looks. We both have the same black curly hair, but she has let it grow until it reached her waist and straightens it; I have it short with a straight fringe. Mimi says I look like a bowl or a sheep when it rains, but who cares? It’s more comfortable this way. She hides her freckles behind makeup and I show them, unashamed. We have the same dark eyes, but she doesn’t need glasses, and if she did, she’d certainly use contact lens. Oh, and I love musicals, theatre, books and art, and she gets bored with them. I’m clumsy and she... hides it more easily. She’s thin with big boobs and I’m plump with big boobs. 

I ordered a piece of cake and she rolled her eyes.

“You know fat settles easily in your hips,” she said.

“I don’t mind,” I answered with a piece of cake in my mouth. “It’f tafty an’ I’ll do fport fome day to go ba’ to wha’ I waf.”

“Gosh...” she sighed, cleaning my cheek, which had got stained with chocolate, with a napkin. “But still,” she continued after a minute, “it’s weird that you want to go to that kind of event.”

“Well, I don’t know,” I replied. “I guess it’s because Zen’s coming.”

“What?!” she exclaimed. “You’re going to meet him?!”

“I’ve already met him.”

“WHAT?!”

I told her what happened the day before. She was so shocked I thought she was going to get mad or something.

“You’re telling me,” she said, approaching me as if we were sharing a secret, “that you flirted with Zen Hyun, the hottest actor in the world of musicals, yesterday?”

“I didn’t flirt.”

“You did.”

“I think he’s like that with everyone.”

“You offended him twice and he didn’t complain.”

“He may be a masochist!”

“And that’s why he was flirting with you!” she exclaimed.

“Wow, thank you,” I said sarcastically, though it made sense.

We went out of the café and entered a posh shop with posh dresses and a posh shop assistant who received Mimi really enthusiastically.

“Mimi, darling! How can I help you?”

“I need to dress this up!” she said, pointing at me.

She said these harsh words with a nice voice, but she is family and I shouldn’t hit her. The shop assistant looked at me, smiling.

“I like challenges.”

I wanted to kill them both.

I ended up choosing the less extravagant dress. It was a simple white dress which left my back uncovered and had a fit and flare skirt.

“I’ll give it to you as a present,” my sister said, winking and taking her credit card between her index and middle finger.

She is nice after all.

I finally got home. I left myself fall on the bed and took the dress out of the bag to take a look at it again. It was a beautiful dress, indeed, and it suited my style, somehow. I had also bought a light-blue flower for my hair and a necklace. I sighed. I took off my glasses and tried to look at myself without them in the mirror, but I’m blind as shit and I only saw a blurred thing. I put on my contact lens and the flower. I looked pretty. Nice.

All that suddenly reminded me of Zen and that strange he said about liking him because of his looks. Come to think of it, it wasn’t that strange that he thought that. It was certainly true that I didn’t like hanging out with the rest of the girls of his club of fans, for they didn’t talk much about the performance, but his beauty, and, come on, it was a boring topic. I liked the music, the lyrics, the characters, the dances... Of course, looks play an important role, but was it so important?

I remembered that time I looked for performances of Javert, the best character ever of _Les Misérables_ and I found the magnificent performance of Norm Lewis, who happens to be black. Some people may complain because Javert is not black, but does that matter that much? I mean, I think he’s the best Javert ever!

Talent should be more appreciated than appearance, but it seemed as if that was a strange belief. So silly.

I went to my computer and looked for the _Jalapeno_ show. I found it online, free, and with good quality. Yay!

I already knew how absurd the dialogues were, but I wasn’t prepared for the not-for-all-audiences moment when they stripped him half-naked. I held a nosebleed. What the fuck? I stopped the show to contemplate him. Gosh, he was hot. I let it play on. They tidied him uP. THEY FUCKING TIDIED HIM UP, OH MY GOD, THAT’S GORGEOUS. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about things like that, but he was damned hot. He started to sing his part. God, my heart was not prepared for that, not were my panties. It was turning me on. Really? I’m quite a pervert, but it was the first time it happened with a musical! It was a musical, come on! I slipped my hand into my trousers when my phone rang. Thanks God. I took it.  
It was my mother. She was glad I had seen my sister that day. We talked about unimportant things and hung up after a while. I looked to the screen, which still showed a gorgeous half-naked Zen. I remembered these little arms of mine had been round his waist. I envied my past self, which made me think that if any fan found out I would probably have to say goodbye to this world which I did like, actually. 

I continued watching the musical. It was shit, but the music was nice and Zen’s performance was impressive. I was glad Zen’s conversation reminded me yesterday of the fact that I hadn’t watched it.

I went to bed thinking about my sister’s words. I don’t really think he was flirting with me. I mean, he was, but not as a special thing, so to say. I just thought that is his way of talking to women, which I found kind of funny. I mean, I didn’t mind flirting, I found it funny. Still, it’s better to know beforehand whether a person is flirting with you because you actually exist or because you interest them in a more meaningful way. Thanks God, I was a human being who didn’t bother about those things. If I ever created hopes because a man was giving me any special treatment and those expectations got crushed, I didn’t really get upset, even if I liked him. I guess it was because I hadn’t liked anyone that much yet, but who cares? 

I looked at the ceiling and started singing Zen’s son in Jalapeno and soon fell asleep.

 

Zen was sitting on his desk taking a look at the prop Yuuki had taken the other day. He remembered her saying he wasn’t mature as an actor yet. He knew she was right, it hadn’t passed enough time since he started to take serious principals roles, but it irritated him. But still, she had also said she liked him for his talent. That felt warm. He had started to feel insecure about his aptitude, after all his last role was given to him because of Echo Girl. He hated that thought, so he tried to think again about the words of that girl. He remembered her freckled face imitating his performance, singing. She actually had an ear for music and didn’t intonate too bad. He laughed. She was a strange girl. Should he have asked her for her number? Was it too strange taking into account she was there only as a fan, not as a friend or... wait. Actually, she was in his club of fans, wasn’t she?

Zen rushed to his phone and checked past conversations of the RFA. His fan club was actually attending the party. Would he see her then?


	3. Be Careful with the Punch at a Party if your Sister Lends you her Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki attends the RFA party!

I put on my white dress and finished getting ready as soon as I could. I looked at myself on the mirror. I looked actually quite pretty. I turned around and the skirt of my dress flew all around me. I could see my panties.

“Okay, I shouldn’t do that in front of all the people in the party,” I told myself.

My sister had lent me the shoes. They were not-too-high heels she actually used to go to work. They were nice.

“Okay, let’s go. I have to behave if I don’t want to be called a freak,” I told myself while putting some candies in by bag just in case they were not giving (enough) food at the party.  
I arrived where the rest of the club was meeting. I didn’t remember the faces of half of them, but there was a nice girl I could stick to without problems. She was saying that Zen would make a good Roger in Rent. I agreed.

Receiving the guests, there was an elegant short-haired woman. The president introduced us and we went into a big and elegant room. I went to look for something to eat when a person stopped me.

“Creature of darkness!” he exclaimed. “With the power of the eye which sees beyond the things that can be seen I can tell you are using contact lens!”

“Ah? Yah, I am,” I answered, pretty scared.

He just wanted to give me his number. Apparently he was an oculist. A weird one. After that I hear a meow and turned to look at the c... WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH THAT CAT? Why was he a fucking guest? He was long. He was really long!!

I rushed to the food before I could encounter more peop... living beings.

“Mmmm... cake,” I whispered, taking a piece.

I looked around me. The rest of the club had disappeared from my sight. Nice job, Yuuki. You’re quite on your own now, I thought.

I sighed. What was I going to do now? I didn’t really feel like looking for them, but didn’t want to get bored. I turned and poured some punch on a glass. I spilt some of it, fortunately not on my dress. Unfortunately, on my sister’s shoes.

“Oh, fuck!” I exclaimed.

A hand offered me some napkins. I looked at the owner of the hand and discovered I had sworn for the second time in front of my idol.

“Oh, shi... thank you,” I controlled myself.

I dried the shoes, embarrassed as he laughed. It was not funny, it was a real mess and I was in great danger: my sister could kill me if the stain didn’t disappear and the fans would kill me if the saw me talking amiably to Zen.

“I’m going to die. Silly punch, silly glass,” I said to the punch and the glass, which only made Zen laugh more.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he said.

I blushed.

“It’s nice to see you too.”

“Did you come with my club of fans?”

“That’s right.”

“Where’s the rest of the people?” he asked. “I want to thank them for their support.”

“Nowhere near food.”

He laughed.

“Well, I’ll look for them, but don’t disappear before I can talk to you again. Promise me,” he winked.

“I won’t promise,” I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Then I’ll have to make sure I’m quick so that you don’t go before I find you again.”

“Yep.”

He went to look for his fans. I blushed. He really liked flirting.

The person who was welcoming the guests went on the stage and started talking about a new member that had made this party possible. Had that member chosen the guests? They might be special at the very least. The rest of the association member was pointed at. Why did they only have beautiful people, seriously? Were they part of an otome game or something? It looked as a requirement to join them.

They played some music. Waah! I knew that one! I started singing in a corner while dancing with my punch (I had already eaten the cake, of course). I did a gracious but careful   
turn not to spill my punch again and not to show my panties. A red-haired boy who was also a host was looking at me with a grin. I waved at him to let him know I was actually   
not embarrassed of enjoying a beautiful dance with my punch. He waved back at me, amused. The blonde host looked as us with a frown. Was he his crush? So cute.

I turned around and found Zen’s club of fans. Finally! I approached them until I saw Zen was still talking to them. I headed towards the opposite direction not to be seen,   
unsuccessfully.

“Yuuki!” Zen exclaimed.

“Shit,” I whispered low enough to be heard only bit my dancing partner.

I turned to face him. 

“He-hey.”

The fans looked at me, confused.

“Traitor,” the leader whispered.

I sighed. Zen told them a couple of nice words while I slipped away to one of the couches. After a while, Zen appeared next to me.

“Are you avoiding me, babe?” he asked, with a nice smile.

“Your fans are going to kill me,” I said.

“Eh? Why?” he asked, surprised.

So naïve.

“You’re giving me a special treatment, so...”

He chuckled.

“Then give me your phone number.”

I startled. For real?!

“For real?!” ups. I should have only thought that, not said it out loud. Damn me.

He laughed.

“Yeah. I want to know your opinion about _Jalapeno_ when you watch it.”

“I watched it the day before yesterday.”

“Did you?” he said, surprised. “What did you think?”  
“I think you did a good performance. I like the music even though the musical in itself is shit: the plot is too simple and the dialogue doesn’t make sense. Oh, my God, I’ve offended you,” I put my hands on my mouth.

Zen looked half annoyed, half amused.

“Well, I kind of think so too, so...” he said, thoughtful. “Continue.”

“Oh, well, I was impressed that you played that role so well, since it was quite laughable, and also you were the first one to perform it, and consequently didn’t have any examples to follow.”

Zen smiled.

“Thank you. Any memorable scenes?”

“Mmmm... The confrontation one was quite good, but if we’re talking about memorable scenes, I would point out the one in which you’re stripped half naked and they tie you. It was quite ho... holydays! Oh, my God, what am I saying?!” I put my hands on my mouth, blushing, and looking at the floor.

Zen stared at me with his eyes wide open in surprised and laughed. I blushed more. I wanted to die.

“You say you like me for my talent, but were about to tell me that I’m hot?” he laughed.

“One thing doesn’t dismiss the other, right?” I told him, embarrassed. “I mean, I’ve got eyes too, you know?”

He laughed.

“You’re too much.”

I frowned.

“Was that mature enough for such an exigent public?” he whispered in my ear.

I moved away from him, blushing deeply, covering the ear in which he had whispered with my hand, which happened to be the ear of the side in which I had the flower (my best side in that moment).

“You asking me because of what I said about _Phantom_?”

He nodded.

“It’s a different kind of maturity the one I’m talking about,” I complained. “Erick has a complexity I haven’t seen in any of your characters yet, his songs are more difficult as well, his development... I think you should wait a couple of years more to play that role, which is not bad, but normal.”

He looked at me, thoughtful.

“Who’s the best Phantom?”

“Gerónimo Rauch,” I answered right away.

“I agree,” he said. “I’ll make a better one. Just watch me. Watch how I become a mature actor.”

He had a serious look. He was contemplating at me with his scarlet eyes, serious, asking me to watch him. That was quite intense. I could feel the eros.

I nodded.

I ended up giving him my number, and he gave me his. I had officially become an enemy of the fan club and given a reason to my sister not to kill me when she saw her shoes, which was good.

I went back home. It had been a good party. I was opening the door when I heard my neighbour.

“Yuuki, darling, you look beautiful. Where have you been?”

“Saving the world, Mrs Morrison.”

“Come hither, child. Turn around. You look so beautiful,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling.

“Now I would like you to be my boy’s girlfriend, but I don’t think that child deserves you,” she laughed. “Were you with someone you like?”

I hesitated.

“I don’t think it’s something like that, I’m more his fan than any other thing,” I replied.

“Oh, but you thought of someone when I ask you, so there must be something more,” she laughed. “You dressed like that for him?”

“And for the party.”

“But you’ve not denied the first thing. Well, I’ll stop being nosy, child. Want to have dinner at my place?”

“Of course!”

We shared a delicious dinner and I didn’t give her words a second thought.


	4. When your Idol Picks You up after Work and your Hair Makes you Look like a Damn Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki had just finished work when she received a call from Zen, asking her if he could pick her up to take her somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter! I felt the last one had been quite short, so I hope this one compensates.
> 
> A new OC's introduced! I hope you like him, I had a lot of fun writing him.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

I finally finished work and was leaving when I received a call. I picked up without looking who they were not to break with my careless nature.

“Oh, you picked up right away!”

“Zen?”

I couldn’t believe it. It had already been four days since I saw him at the party and we haven’t talked since.

“You doing something now?”

“I’ve just finished work.”

“Can I ask you a favour?”

“Sure.”

“Send me a message with your job’s place and I’ll pick you up.”

I did as he asked.

I damned myself. The humidity in the air was starting to affect my hair and soon I’d look as a sheep. Besides, I didn’t dress really nicely to go to work –it was a partial time job in a supermarket and I had to wear a uniform, so I never cared about the clothing I wear to get there. I started to eat the chocolate bar I had brought with me just in case I didn’t get home in time for dinner. I can be so clever sometimes.

Zen’s motorbike appeared –with Zen on it, fortunately.

“Get on, baby,” he said, giving me a helmet.

I embraced his waist and couldn’t help thinking those were the same abdominals that I saw when watching Jalapeno. I blushed. I wanted to take my arms off him, but he went too fast. He even started and stopped the bike almost right away, which made me go closer to him at a traffic-light. Damn Zen.

We arrived to a small restaurant.

“It’s here,” he said.

“’Tis closed,” I pointed out.

“The owner is a friend,” he said, winking.

He looked at himself for a moment on the glass of the door, arranging his hair. Really? I thought, chuckling.

He opened the door.

“Clos’d!” said a voice in a strange accent.

“It’s me!” Zen exclaimed.

“Zen! Youn’ pal nice te see yah! Yah comin’ with a gal? Yah should ‘ave tol’ yah was bringin’ a frien’,” the old man smiled, shaking hands with Zen. “’Ow is yah doin’, sweet gal?”  
“Fine, thank you, nice to meet you,” I said, shaking hands, controlling myself not to take up his accent.

He looked really nice.

“I’s been cleanin’ it so yah can plai it,” he said to Zen.

“Thanks, Mr O’Brian.”

“No need, no need,” he turned to me. “Wan’ some caik, chil’?”

“That would be really nice!” I exclaimed.

He laughed.

“Da gal’s an appetite!”

Zen went to the end of the bar and uncovered a beautiful piano.

“Sit wherever you want to,” he told me.

I sat at one of the tables and soon the man brought me the promised piece of cake.

“I’ll leaves yah alone, folks.”

He said, laughing. I smiled.

“You said you wanted to ask me something,” I reminded to Zen.

“Yeah. I only need you to listen,” he smiled.

I nodded.

He took out of his backpack some papers that he put on the piano. The cake was awesome.

“I haven’t practiced much, but I hope you like it,” he said.

He looked at his reflection on the piano, arranged his hair for the second time that evening and finally started playing. I widened my eyes in surprise. _The Music of the Night_?

He played the piano surprisingly well. His voice and the music filled the room magically, making me forget that my idol was singing in front of me... for me. I could only feel the music.

_You alone can make my sound take flight_  
_Help me make the music of the night._

He concluded, looking at me for the first time since he had started singing and playing. His scarlet eyes penetrated my thoughts, making the trance last longer. Suddenly he looked away from me and scratched his head, shyly and blushing lightly. It was then when I noticed I was crying.

“Oh, my God,” I whispered when I realised.

I started to dry my tears with my sleeve. Zen was still looking away from me. A hand lent me a handkerchief. It was O’Brian.

“Thanks,” I whispered, blowing my nose because I have no shame.

“Dem tears’ moved ‘im,” he whispered, winking.

I looked at Zen. He finally turned to look at me. He was smiling, still blushing.

“That was beautiful,” I said.

I realised I hadn’t finished my cake, and continued eating it.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

We went out when I finished eating the delicious piece of wonder O’Brian had baked.

“I usually come here to play the piano since my home is too small for me to keep one,” he explained. “O’Brian likes how I play, so he lets me come whenever I want to.”

“He seems a good man.”

“He is.”

“He looked surprised when he saw me. You don’t take much people there?”

“It’s the first time since I started going that I do this,” he confessed.

I looked at him, surprised.

“You look as a solitary person.”

He frowned. Damn.

“It’s not a bad thing,” I excused myself. “I mean, you look outgoing and cheerful, so I thought you may have thousands of friends.”

He hesitated.

“I basically lost all contact with almost all of my old friends when I left behind my life as a troublesome teen,” he laughed. “I have the RFA members, but I don’t know if they can be considered as ‘friends’ as such. They are more like a family.”

“That’s good as well,” I remarked.

“It is,” he sighed. “You know, one of the RFA members, Jaehee... She is my fan, so she came to take care of my leg when I had a cast recently...”

“Oh, the last time you got injured.”

He startled.

“How do you know?”

“I’m a fan, we’re the closest thing to stalkers.”

He laughed.

“Well, Jaehee came to my house and took care of me, so I thought we were going to become closer friends, but... There’s this wall between us. It’s as if she thought she shouldn’t cross a line as she’s my fan,” he sighed. “You’re different, though.”

I startled.

“Me?”

“It’s as if you didn’t get nervous when you talk to me. You tell me your mind surprisingly openly, and talk to me normally.”

“It’s because I don’t have any filters,” I sighed.

“I like that,” he said.

I startled.

“You a masochist?”

He laughed.

“See? You did it again.”

I covered my mouth with my hands.

“Oh, my, I did it again!”

He laughed.

“You’re strange.”

I sighed.

“But actually I really think you’re an easy person to talk to. I mean, I haven’t talked to many famous people, but I feel comfortable with you, you’re easy-going. Quite a narcissist, but you don’t think you’re a superior human being.”

“You’ve just called me ‘narcissist’,” Zen pointed out.

“Yeah, and I won’t regret that one. You look at your image in every reflecting surface.”

He frowned.

“It’s because I’m too beautiful.”

“And that’s being a narcissist.”

“The point is,” he continued, annoyed, trying to change the subject, “the point is that you also seem to be quite an expert about musicals, so I may annoy you a bit more asking for your opinion,” he winked.

I startled.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no,” he frowned. “Oh, I don’t mean it that way, I mean, I’m far from being an expert. It’s only a hobby!”

He laughed.

“Still, I liked your criticism, even the hard critics. So will you allow me to bother you, baby?”

I sighed.

“It’s okay for me, but wouldn’t the opinion of an expert be better?”

Then I realised. That was a good excuse to keep in contact with him. Why am I so slow?

“I also need the opinion of the average public.”

“Yeah, I think you need it, well thought. You can contact me anytime you need the valuable opinion of the average public I happen to be,” I said, nodding.

He laughed.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

We arrived to my apartment. I looked at it, reluctant to say goodbye yet, but my stomach had other plans.

“You live alone?” he suddenly asked.

“Yep.”

“You told me before you worked. What do you do?”

“I have a part-time job in a supermarket and also study at Uni.”

“What are you studying?”

I smiled.

“A degree in visual arts.”

He laughed.

“No wonder you have such a knowledge on the field.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m in my first year, so I don’t know much yet.”

He smiled.

“I think you know quite a lot.”

“Want to come in and have dinner?” I ended up saying.

He accepted. He followed me upstairs and I started to make a salad when we entered my apartment.

“The house’s not too big, but I find it nice and easy to clean,” I said. “Make yourself comfortable as I cook.”

“I’d rather help you,” he offered.

“Nah, it’s alright, I always cook alone.”

I intended to cook some chicken as well, so I prepared the pan. I grabbed the meat with the tip of my fingers and when the oil was hot I put it on the pan, making it spit right at me. It didn’t hurt, but still I screamed because I’m just too noisy. Zen got behind me right away.

“You okay?” he asked me, worried.

“Oh, yes, I am,” I answered him, calm. “Stupid oil. Why did you have to do that?” I asked the oil.

I heard Zen laughing.

“You talk to things quite a lot.”

I looked at him. He was covering his mouth with his right hand while looking at me, amused. I blushed.

“And they never listen.”

I finished cooking the chicken and salad and put it on the table.

“Healthy but tasty!” I exclaimed.

He laughed.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Oh, that’s kind of one of my mottos,” I replied.

“And the others?” he asked, amused.

“Unhealthy but tasty.”

We finished dinner and he insisted on helping me with the dishes.

“Want some dessert?” I asked.

He looked at me, surprised.

“You already ate a piece of cake before coming.”

I blushed.

“That was a long time ago!” I complained.

He laughed.

“It’s okay, I want nothing.”

I shrugged my shoulders and picked up some ice-cream for me.

“Can I see your books for school?” he asked me, curious.

“Sure,” I replied. “They’re in my bedroom, follow me.”

I opened the door with my elbow, giving my back to the door, since I was holding the bowl with ice-cream with my hands, so I could see Zen’s surprise face when he saw my room.

“What?” I asked, turning around.

Of course. The too-big poster of him rising on the wall before us. I blushed, almost letting my ice-cream fall.

I looked at him.

“I look so perfect,” he whispered, approaching it, fascinated. “You have good taste.”

I couldn’t believe it.

“Narcissist.”

I showed him my books and explained what we did in class.

“It’s quite ironic that you don’t have time to watch musicals studying what you’re studying,” he remarked.

“Well, I have to watch what I’m asked to watch and write my essays after all.”

“What would you like to do when you finish your studies?” he asked.

“I would like to become an art critic.”

“I’ll have to be careful then.”

I smiled. He looked at me and smiled too. Suddenly, he blushed and moved away.

“I should go, you shouldn’t be alone at home with a man until so late.”

I startled.

“But I’ve been alone with classmates all night long studying plenty of times.”

He looked at me, horrified. He approached me and took me by the shoulders.

“Listen, Yuuki, all men are wolves. Don’t be alone with any of us until late, okay?”

I laughed. Was that the new line for a musical?

“I’m serious,” he said, offended. “You’re pretty and any man would want to do something strange to you.”

I blushed. He’d just called me pretty?

“You mean you want to do something stra...?”

“That’s not what I meant!!” he yelled, blushing. “I’d better leave, good night!”

He didn’t even let me show him to the door.

I put on my wonderful teddy-bear pyjamas and went to bed. I couldn’t sleep for a while thinking about that evening. I remembered him singing for me and blushed. What was he trying to do? It was a song from _Phantom_ , so maybe he just wanted to tease me or show me he’s god for the damn role, but come on. It looked almost like a date. Picking me up from work, taking me to a special place, having dinner with me at home... What was he thinking about? One thing is flirting and other very different thing was... well, acting like that. But still, I shouldn’t mind. After all, I was no more than a fan. Although maybe I could fantasise. Maybe we could become... friends! I tried not to scream on my pillow.

Oh, that sounded so good. Zen was a nice guy, he had a good conversation and wouldn’t call me a freak for talking about musicals and stuff. Besides, we had similar tastes. We could hang out and go to the park together, eating ice-cream. Or maybe go to the cinema and comment the film later at a café, sharing a milkshake. Well, maybe not sharing, but trying the other’s. We could go to the theatre and maybe even hold hands on our way home, and when he said goodbye to me in my entrance... Wait, that didn’t look like friends at all, what was I thinking about? I realised I really lacked sleep, so I closed my eyes and slept, forgetting all those useless thoughts.


	5. When your Sister Surprises you, be Careful in Case She has Another Surprise Prepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mimi surprises Yuuki with tickets for Zen's last performance. Of course, she has another surprise for her when they arrive.

“Yuuki! Guess what I got today?” asked me Mimi on the phone.

“A new lipstick?” I replied, preparing dinner.

“Two tickets for Zen’s new musical!”

I almost dropped my phone. In fact, I dropped it.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” I said, taking it. “Sorry, you alright?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s just I dropped the phone.”

“I can’t feel it, you know?”

I knew. Sometimes, I just forgot.

“I was telling you I got tickets for the premiere.”

“For real?!” I exclaimed.

“For real.”

“How did you get them? Thought they were sold already.”

“A poor soul who wanted to date me gave them to me, poor boy,” she explained. “I told him I’m not interested, but insisted me to keep them. What do you say, want to come?”

My piteous and my selfish side got in conflict.

“You know I’d love to, but wouldn’t it be unfair if you don’t go with that boy?”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“I’ll go then!” I smiled.

“We’ll go shopping before, it’s my only condition.”

That was a hard condition, but what could I do?

We went shopping on Friday, the performance was on Saturday, and she convinced me to buy an outfit which included a black skirt, a bit too short, and a tank top. In fact, we also had to buy a bra for the latter.

“Why do you have to wear those bras for old ladies?” my sister complained.

“It’s more comfortable,” I whined.

Saturday arrived, and two hours before the time we had arranged to meet for the performance, my sister showed up in my apartment.

“If you’ve decided to go with that boy, you can’t now,” I warned her.

She laughed.

“I came to make my sister up.”

I sighed. At least she didn’t come to make out with her sister. I felt like _Mulan in Honour to us all_ but without a funny grandma or a messy cricket. I was actually grateful about the latter.

Fortunately, she behaved. She only put me a bit of eyeliner, some lipstick and hid my freckles. It could have been much worse. At least I was recognisable.

She almost puked when she saw my shoes.

“Thanks God I brought something despite what you did to the others.”

She gave me her high boots. When we made sure I could walk, we left. She drove us to the theatre in her new car. She’s so posh. I insisted in putting my music in the way, so we enjoyed a Disney-sing-along drive. Even my sister sang, of course. We may have our differences but have the same blood.

We finally arrived.

“But don’t you think we’ve actually arrived a bit too soon?” I asked.

She grinned. That smile was terrifying.

“The boy thought I was a big fan of Zen’s, you know?” she said. “Only because I like his looks. I know you’re actually one of his best fans, since you like him for his performance. This may not seem much to you since you already know him personally, but I hope you enjoy it.”

“What are you talking about? You know I love live performances even... oh my God,” I whispered when I saw around eight fans waiting in front on a door in which there was a paper which read: ‘Meet your idol!’

I looked at my sister, pale.

“We’re going to meet Zen!?”

She laughed.

“I see you’re quite excited.”

This was not in the plans.

But still, why was I so nervous? I already knew him personally pretty well. Maybe because it was unexpected? Because my extravagant sister was with me? Because I hadn’t expected it? Oh my God, HE didn’t expect it. Wasn’t it like giving him a surprise?

“Shouldn’t we have left this to a fan who didn’t know him?” I asked, nervous.

“Eh? What are you saying? You may know him, but I don’t and I didn’t want to go alone,” she pouted, in a capricious tone. “Besides, it was a draw, so there’s nothing to be done,” she grinned, taking me by the arm.

“You should have told me so that I could tell him in advance,” I complained.

“Oh, but I wanted to see his face of surprise!”

The door opened and the fans were allowed to enter. My sister dragged me to the inside.

“She’s quite nervous, right?” a policeman said, laughing.

You bet I was. I at least hoped he didn’t thought I was doing cosplay with this outfit.

“She is!” my sister laughed.

We entered a room and finally Zen appeared through a door. He was smiling and in his performance costume. I covered my face behind my hands, but my sister took them, forcefully.

“Zenny!” she yelled at him.

He looked in our direction and I blushed. I wanted to die. My wish would come true according to the faces the fans made when my sister called him ‘Zenny.’

I looked at him. He was staring at me, confused.

“Yuuki?” he asked.

I bushed even more.

“Wow, you look so good,” he said, scratching his neck... shyly? Really?

I blushed even more... again.

“Thank you.”

He fucking blushed.

The fans looked puzzled. They were going to kill me. Fortunately enough, he noticed and started paying attention to them, which made me feel more relieved.

“He is so into you,” my sister whispered, excited.

I was going to kill her when Zen approached us.

“Yuuki, who’s that beautiful lady?” he said with that voice he made for the public.

“She’s my sister. She dragged me into this,” I replied.

“I’m Mimi, nice to meet you!”

They shook hands.

“Do you want a picture?” he asked, with his smile for the public.

“Please!” my sister exclaimed, taking her camera.

He was going to go next to her when she moved away.

“If you don’t get closer to Yuuki I won’t be able to take it,” she said, in a playful tone.

I was going to complain when Zen put his arm on my shoulders and his head next to mine, posing.

“Cheese!” he said.

Of course, I stumbled and fell on the floor when we went out of the room. With Zen still looking at us. Damn high heels.

The performance was great. It was moving, it had great music, good dialogues, and Zen was impressive. Even my sister liked it. During the interlude, Mimi started flirting with the policeman we saw later while waiting to meet Zen.

“He told me we could see him again after the show if we waited for him a bit right here!” she whispered in my ear, excited. “I’ll get a handsome policeman and you’ll go to your dear actor. It’s just perfect.”

I sighed.

“Poor policeman.”

“You don’t understand,” she complained. “It was love at first sight. Or maybe you do and that’s why you’re nervous,” she teased me.

We waited for him at the end of the show, and, as promised, he came with Zen. He was already in his normal attire and looked surprised to see us again. Nevertheless, he smiled to us.

“Hi, ladies!”

I waved at him. My sister rushed and took the policeman by the arm, saying goodbye to us in a hurry.

“You have to take me home!” I yelled at her, but she left.

“I’ll take you,” Zen sighed.

“Thank you.”

It was still uncomfortable. Besides, he wasn’t talking. Why wasn’t he talking? I looked at him and saw an annoyed expression in his face.

“It’s everything alright?” I asked him.

“Yah.”

We remained silent the rest of the way until we arrived to his motorbike.

“You don’t have to take me if you don’t want to.”

“Get on the motorbike,” he answered.

My face got red, annoyed.

“I don’t want to, you’re weird.”

He looked at me, half surprised, half annoyed.

“Don’t think you know me that much as to say when I’m weird.”

I startled and looked at the floor.

“But you are!” I yelled.

“Maybe I was only behaving as I did because you’re a fan. Don’t think too high of yourself.”

I looked back at him, surprised. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. He looked as if he regretted what he said, but I wouldn’t stand that. I felt humiliated.

“Fuck off,” I whispered turning to go.

“Yuuki!” he yelled at me.

Of course I didn’t turn to look at him. But I did stumble and fall on the floor.

“Damn high heels!” I yelled at them.

Zen appeared behind me.

“Yuuki, I’m sorry,” he offered me his hand. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

I looked at his hand and back to the floor again.

“I can’t know, we don’t know each other that much,” I frowned, a bit calmer though, for he was apologising.

“Please?” he insisted.

I took his hand, hesitantly.

“You were right,” he said after we sat on a bench. I took my chocolate bar to eat it while I heard his explanation. “I was mad at you.”

“Eh? Forz zreal? Why?” I asked with a piece of the chocolate bar in my mouth.

“It’s your fault,” he sighed, frowning. “You clearly told me you were forced to come. When I saw you I thought you wanted to surprise me.”

I looked at him, surprised.

“Eh? It’s that it?”

“You offended me for real this time! Don’t ask that!” he exclaimed.

“You get offended at strange things!” I exclaimed. He looked mad at me. “Oh, I’m sorry!” I exclaimed. “Fuck, okay, let me explain. First of all, my sister only told me we were going to watch your performance, she didn’t say anything about meeting you there,” he looked at me surprised.

“Why would she hide it from you?”

“She likes teasing me and making me nervous, which she did.”

“You were nervous when you found out?” he looked even more surprised.

“Of course I was. I didn’t want you to think that I wanted to surprise you, it’s embarrassing.”

He sighed.

“What?”

“Nothing, continue,” he asked.

“However. Second, if she told me we were going to meet you with all those fans I wouldn’t have gone.” He frowned. “Let me explain!” I exclaimed, realising I was messing it up again. “Fans are terrible people.”

“You’re my fan,” he reminded me.

“That’s why I know. They get really jealous, as you saw there, and I’m not a normal fan even if you want to make me believe otherwise,” he startled.

“I was mad,” he justified himself.

“I know. And not only that, but I don’t like the way you behave with fans.”

He looked at me, surprised.

“I thought I was charming.”

“That’s why I don’t like it,” I said. “It’s too artificial, so I prefer the N. N. Zen.”

“N. N.?” he asked.

“Normal Narcissist Zen!” I smirked.

And, finally, he laughed.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said.

“It is,” I replied, smiling.

He took me home on his motorbike. I got down when we arrived and took off the helmet, which had made my hair a mess. Zen took off his.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he said, smiling fondly at me.

I blushed.

“It’s my sister’s magic with makeup,” I laughed.

He leaned towards me, so I gave him his helmet.

“Thanks for taking me home!”

He looked puzzled. Maybe because he had already taken me home a lot and he felt weird that I should thank him.

“See you!” I waved at him, going home.

He waved back.

 

Zen arrived home and let himself fall on his bed, thoughtful. He had tried to kiss her but she had put the helmet between them? Was he going too fast? He wondered. He looked at himself on the mirror of his room. There was no way she didn’t like him with these looks. Wait. She didn’t care about looks. She never cared about looks. But he had other talents too, that’s why she was his... fan. He sighed. Was she always going to stay only a fan? 

He rolled on the bed, confused. He was too into her already. He had understood it when he got so offended thinking that she didn’t want to see him. Gosh, how could that have happened?

He thought of her. She behaved as if she liked him. Why didn’t she like him? Maybe he hadn’t shown her enough affection? He had an idea, but suddenly felt insecure whether to carry it or not. Why did he feel this way suddenly? Damn.

And with these insecurities and the tiredness of a long day, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it ^^


	6. When your Idol Invites you to his House, be Careful with the Strange Feelings in your Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen invites Yuuki to hang out on Saturday and they end up at his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to spend some days out without WiFi, so this will probably be the last chapter I upload in some time. I'll try to upload as soon as I can, so please look forward to it!
> 
> Also, some fluff in this chapter <33
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you're liking it so far :3

The sound of my phone woke me up.

“Uuugh, I should’ve shilenshed it,” I murmured, half sleep. “Hi?”

“Did I wake you up?” Zen’s voice asked me, amused.

“Wha’ time ish it?”

“Nine o’ clock.”

“For God’sh shake it ish Shunday...” I complained.

He chuckled.

“Sorry. I can call you later.”

“Mmmm... It’sh okay, I’m awake now,” I said, sitting on my bed, yawning and trying to make my uttering sound like actual English.

“Mmm... Okay. As I am finishing the performances of this musical this Friday, I was thinking that it could be nice to hang out on Saturday to celebrate it... only you and I, baby.”

I could see him wink.

“Are you sure you want to waste your precious free time with me?” I asked, looking at the clock again. I couldn’t believe he had called me so early on a Sunday.

“Quite sure,” he laughed. “I won’t tell you what we’ll do, so you’ll have to trust me,” he said, in a playful tone.

“Okey Dokey.”

He laughed.

“Well, I’ll hang up. See you on Saturday, my princ...”

Just when he was saying that I was going out of the bed, but I stumble with my slippers and fell.

“Fuck! Aaaaah! Fuck! It hurts!”

I took the phone again.

“Sorry,” I tried to say with a seductive tone to compensate my clumsiness.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asked, quite worried.

“Perfectly alright, all my extremities are still in their places.”

He laughed.

“See you, baby.”

“See you!”

What we didn’t know was that his manager had other plans for Zen.

The week had been awful. The professors seemed to have decided to turn into jerks. My customers at work were jerks. I ran over a jerk. The world seemed to be full of jerks.

“Yuuki, I am so, so, sorry,” Zen said when he called me. “Apparently, I can have the opportunity to act in two good shows, but they happen at the same time and my manager wants me to choose one by the end of the week, so I need to read the scripts and listen to the music on Saturday and decide.”

“Jerk,” I whispered.

“Oh, my, are you that angry?” he sounded really worried.

“Eh? Oh, no! I meant your manager.”

He sighed. I suddenly had an idea. Even I can come up with good ideas from time to time.

“Hey, what would you think if I went to your place and helped you choosing?” I suggested. “You told me that we have similar tastes and that you trusted my opinion, so maybe I could be of help?”

He hesitated for a while.

“That sounds quite nice. But are you sure you don’t mind spending a Saturday night that way?”

“Of course, that’s my hobby and I’ve had quite a shitty week, so I was really looking forward to our plan on Saturday.”

“Were you?”

I could see his grin on the other side of the phone.

“Of course,” I replied.

Saturday finally arrived. I got to Zen’s house around six and rang the bell. He opened right away.

“Hi, come in, please.”

I did so. His living-room was surprisingly clean, all his props practically exhibited in the shelves.

“You’ve been cleaning?”

“You noticed!” he exclaimed, quite happy.

“Sure. Where’s the material?” I asked.

“Sit down. Okay, I’ll tell you what I thought about. I read quite quickly, so I’ll read the scripts and you’ll concentrate on the music and dance, alright? After that, I’ll listen to a  
couple of songs, not all of them, that’s your work, learn them as best as I can and sing them so that you can decide on which one suits me better. Alright?”

“Looks as a good plan.”

He winked.

I was impressed. He seemed really professional when he talked about his plan, quite focused and responsible. He gave me a pair of headphones. Their quality was awesome.  
I listened to the songs of the first musical. They were really good, especially those Zen was supposed to sing. I took my notebook and started punctuating them from 1 to 10, concentrating especially in the ones sang in group and Zen’s, and giving some reasons why I punctuated them that way. My studies seemed to be helping now. It felt so fulfilling to use my recently acquired knowledge in a real-life situation. I smiled, happy.

I finished with the first musical and was going to go to the second when Zen talked to me.

“Finished?”

“The first one,” I answered, looking up at him.

I had put my fringe up with the headphones, so he could see my forehead. I honestly preferred working like that. It was easier with my hair out of the way. He got closer to me and put a finger on my forehead. He chuckled and I blushed lightly.

“Want a rest?” he asked.

“I’m not tired,” I answered honestly.

“But... it’s time to have dinner,” he said, pointing at the clock.

My eyes sparkled at the word ‘dinner.’ Suddenly I remembered Zen’s sad and empty fridge.

“Are we going to call for food delivering?”

He frowned.

“Even I can have food in the fridge from time to time.”

I laughed.

“Sorry, sorry. How can I help you?” I asked, standing up.

“You’re my guest today,” he said, taking me by the shoulders and sitting me down again. “So stay there and let me spoil you,” he smiled, a bit too close to my face.

“Then, I’ll listen to a couple of songs more, if that’s okay.”

He frowned.

“As you please.”

He touched my shoulder some songs later. I turned. The food was already on the table. It looked delicious, and what’s more important, there was a lot.

“I wanted to cook for our date at least,” he whispered.

“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked, taking off the headphones.

He blushed in surprise.

“Nothing.”

“Mmmm...” I moaned, trying the food. “Mmmm... this is so good,” Zen looked at me, annoyed. “Oh, Zen, it’s perfect! It tastes so good. I need more,” I said, putting more food on my plate. “Why do you look so annoyed? I’m saying how good this is.”

“Do you have to say it like that?” he asked, blushing.

I frowned, but light up my mood when I realised I could tease him a little.

“Thank you, oppa,” I teased him.

He startled, blushing deeply, almost falling from his chair, which made me chuckle.

“What?”

“You didn’t hear me?” I teased him.

“No, I did. Gaaaah!” he exclaimed scratching his head. “You’re going to kill me.”

“Don’t overreact.” I laughed.

“Hey, remember what I said about man being wolves? Well, that also counts as awakening the beast.”

“If a man cannot hold the ‘beast inside him’ he cannot be considered a proper man. End of the discussion,” I concluded.

“And you consider me a proper man?” he asked me in a playful tone.

I laughed.

“I have the right to remain silent,” I answered.

He laughed.

Suddenly, his phone rang.

“Sorry,” he apologised. “Jaehee?” he startled, looking at the phone. “Mind if I take it?”

I shook my head.

“Jaehee?” he said, standing up and pacing up and down the room. “Oh, I was having dinner with a friend. Start the dessert if you want to,” he said aside to me. I happily stood up to pick it.

“Cake!” I exclaimed when I saw it.

He laughed. I was cutting a slice when I heard him talking.

“Eh? Yes, she’s a woman... It won’t affect my reputation, you don’t have to worry...”

Suddenly I realised. Wasn’t ‘Jaehee’ that fan of his who took care of him while he had the cast? I looked at him. Maybe she liked him? Well, what did I care if she did? We were friends, right? Or merely a fan and his idol? Well, he had admitted I was more than a simple fan. What was I to him? Or more important, what was he to me?

“Jaehee, you don’t have to worry about her.”

Right, she didn’t have to. I felt kind of disappointed. Of course she didn’t have to worry about me, we were nothing.

He hung up after a few words of goodbye and sighed.

“I think Jaehee worries too much,” he said, sitting again.

“Yes, she does. Doesn’t she?” I replied, pissed off, though I couldn’t quite figure out why because I’m thick as fuck.

“Hey, why are you annoyed?” he asked, surprised.

“I’m not annoyed,” I replied, putting a filter to my words for once. “I’m relieved I’m nothing to worry about,” and thus, I destroyed my new beautiful filter.

He stood up and approached me.

“I think you’ve taken it the wrong way.”

“There’s not a right or wrong way to take it.”

“Yes, there is. I think?” he said, suddenly insecure.

He scratched his head and looked at me, biting his low lip. I blushed. He was beautiful indeed.

“Well, I don’t think so. We should finish eating if we want to get back to work.”

He frowned, taking his piece of cake.

“I think I’ll eat this while working.”

“Good idea.”

What were we doing? I thought. We were clearly annoyed about the same thing, shouldn’t we talk about it? I looked at him and felt my heart beat faster when I saw him concentrated, murmuring the song he was learning at a superhuman speed, his pen in his lips. Damn pen. So jealous.

I tried to cool down and go back to work, succeeding for once. I liked it, so it was easy to concentrate. I finished and looked at Zen.

“Finished?” he said, focused still on the text but feeling my look.

“Yes.”

He looked at me.

“I still have to work on this, do you mind waiting?”

“Take as long as you need,” I answered.

He smiled and went back to it.

I sighed. I was glad he had also cooled down. I went to the kitchen and made some tea. It took me more than it should, for I didn’t know where the things were and didn’t want to slip things or make noise, so I was going really carefully.

I put his cup of tea next to him on his desk. He looked up at me, surprised. Our faces were so close I could feel his breath near my lips. I moved away quickly, spilling some tea on  
my trousers.

“Sorry if I surprised you!” Zen exclaimed, taking my cup.

“Aaah, damn, it’s hot,” I whispered. It really hurt.

He took a cloth and put it under the cold water, wringing the excess of water and kneeled in front of me, pressing it gently against my legs.

“Eh?” I startled.

“Does it fell better?” he asked me, looking up and me.

He suddenly seemed to realise and moved away, blushing.

“Maybe you should do it yourself,” he said, handing me the cloth.

“Th-Thanks!” I said, taking it. “And sorry.”

He shook his head.

I went to the toilet. My face was all red.

“Gooosh...” I whispered.

I wet my face with cool water.

“Damn face, calm down.”

I went back to the living room. Zen was focused on the script again, working. I sat on the couch. It was already 10 p.m., but I didn’t want to go home, so I was glad Zen hadn’t finished with the song.

I checked my phone while waiting.

“Ok, Yuuki, I’m ready,” he said. “Should I proceed?”

I smiled.

“Whenever you wish.”

“Okay, so I chose these two of the first, and these two of the second. I’ll sing along with the singer of the previous musical since I don’t feel confident enough yet, alright?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll leave this here, recording,” he said, putting a recorder on the table. “Try not to make any noise.”

“I won’t even move.”

He grinned.

“Yeah, it’ll be better if you don’t.”

I frowned, which made him laugh.

“I’m getting it from you.”

I faked a laugh. He chuckled.

“Ready?” he asked.

I made him a sign for him to proceed.

We re-listened to the recordings when he finished, though for me it was clear from the start.

“The second one,” I concluded.

He startled.

“Are you serious? I think I did much better in the first.”

“You definitely didn’t.”

“But the intonation...”

“I know, it’s not about the intonation. It’s...” I stood up and paced up and down the room trying to find the words. “It’s the character. The character suits you perfectly. It’s a complex character, more complex than the ones you’ve played before, full of doubts and insecurities. He doesn’t overcome them, but learns to live with them, you know how awesome that is? His songs are much simpler than the ones of the other musical, but they are so beautiful. There’s so much feeling in them. It’s... it’s a beautiful character,” I concluded, looking at him. “I think he suits you because he is beautiful,” he was going to say something, but I approached him and interrupted him. “Listen, I don’t mean he _looks_ beautiful, I mean he _is_ beautiful. You are beautiful, Zen,” I concluded, smiling. “Your looks are beautiful, your singing, your acting, your passion with work, and all the little things you’ve shown me, they are all beautiful, which makes you perfect for this character, and...”

He put his hand on my mouth.

“Stop,” he said.

He was covering his eyes, which had been wide open all this time staring at me with surprise, with his free hand.

“Stop, please.”

Had I gone too far?

I wanted to cry. I had scared him, of course. I had approached him and started repeating he’s beautiful as a damn stalker. I moved away from him.

“I-I’ll just leave and...”

He took my arm before I could finish and looked at me. He was crying. Oh, my God.

“Oh, my God, I’m sorry,” that definitely went beyond the fear of a crazy stalker. “Did I offend you?” I asked, kneeling next to him.

He shook his head.

“Come,” he asked.

I complied. He took me to the terrace roof of his building.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” he asked, looking at the sky.

I stared. It was full of stars. I opened my mouth in surprise and closed it again. For once, I didn’t know what to say. I nodded.

“So beautiful,” he remarked.

I looked at him and blushed when I was he was staring at me.

“When I was little I thought I was ugly,” I startled.

“Did you?” I asked.

He nodded.

“My parents would always say that so that I didn’t decide to become an actor or model, but something ‘useful’,” he rolled his eyes. “Look at me now,” he chuckled.

I looked at him in silence, waiting to hear more.

“My brother told me the truth about my beauty. But... now, after hearing what you said, I realised something,” he looked back at the sky. “He told me I _looked_ beautiful, my parents told me I _was_ ugly. Maybe not exactly with these words, but that’s the impression I had all this time, but I hadn’t realised until now. Maybe that’s why I’m such a narcissist,” he chuckled. “I didn’t know I was looking for my beauty until you came.”

I stared at him. I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to think. I only thought the feelings that were forming in my chest, going up to my head with the speed of lighting, were beyond those a fan or a friend should have. And still, there they were, whispering non-stop in my ears so that I didn’t stop noticing them.

Zen looked at me.

“You’re missing the beauty of the stars,” he said.

“They look better in your eyes.”

I startled at my own words and moved further away from him, his words when he talked on the phone with that woman still revolving around my head. _Don’t cross that line, Yuuki_ , I thought. _You are just nothing to worry about._

“I should go home now,” I said.

Zen closed his eyes and sighed.

“Yes, you should.”

He drove me home.

“Can I call you some other day?” he asked me, scratching his neck.

“Please, do,” I answered, surprised.

He smiled.

“Good night, babe.”


	7. I Hate Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen and Yuuki go out on a... date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter!!
> 
> This is a bit longer than usual to compensate your wait.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)

I called my sister the next day and told her what happened.

“Whaf do you fink?” I asked, eating my pancakes.

“Mmmm... I do think he likes you, but that conversation was weird. Maybe he’s not confident enough?”

“I thought so too, but I mean, he’s super popular and all that and doesn’t seem to lack confidence.”

“Well, but even popular people can be insecure, and more so with you, who is so clumsy and won’t get an indirect.”

“Excuse me?” I frowned.

She laughed.

“You know it’s true. Anyway, I’m glad you figured out your feelings. This is very funny, so call me and tell me everything that happens, okay? Love you.”

“Bye, bye,” I sighed.

I received a text message from Zen:

_Good morning princess <3 I hope you had a good rest? I did! Thank you for helping me like that yesterday. I have a couple of hours free after I meet with my manager, so maybe you would like to hang out? I miss you already. This is the first time we text, isn’t it? We should text more!_

I laughed at the text. ‘Insecure’, ha?

He sent me a selfie in which he showed me a cup of tea, blinking an eye.

Hi, Zen! I’d love to go out today, just say place and time. I don’t miss you because I’m a cold-hearted superhero, I’m sorry, but I do want to see you.

I laughed at my own text.

I sent a selfie after at least twenty attempts of looking decent. I didn’t even want to imagine how many hours lose Zen of his life if he sent selfies all the time as he seemed to do.

He sent me the place where he was going to be meeting his manager, saying that we would have more time to be together if I picked him up there. Of course, I didn’t mind. He also told me that his heart jumped when he said I wanted to see him. 

“He just ignored what I said about not missing him?” I laughed.

I studied hard so that I could have time to meet with Zen this evening.

The time arrived to meet and I picked him up at the entrance of the bar. It was in a luxurious street, full of expensive cars and shops, these kinds of streets that smell like Dior and hot chocolate in Christmas. Zen went out of the bar, looking at a man, frowning.

“Yuuki, you’re here. Let’s go,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulders to make me go with him before I could say anything to that stranger.

But I waved at him, for I’m very polite. He didn’t do anything. Damn impolite stranger.

“Was he your manager?”

“Yeah, just forget about him, he’s an asshole.”

We remained silent.

“Did everything go alright?” I asked.

“I told him I wanted to do the second musical, but he said that was a bit too much for me. Gosh, if he was going to say something like that he shouldn’t have asked me to choose one and waste my time. I insisted and I’m finally doing the second, but this is so frustrating,” he looked at me. “I wished everyone thought about me like you do.”

I blushed.

“I wouldn't like that, that would be frustrating for me and stressing for you. Imagine having thousands of Yuukis saying impolite things all over,” he laughed. I sighed. “And the number of rivals just increasing, it would be awful.”

Damn mouth. Damn me.

“Rivals?” he startled, surprised.

I looked at him, blushing, wanting to hit my face against a lamplight. I was going to make up something to justify myself when I heard a voice before us.

“Zen? What are you doing here?”

I looked in front of me. It was one of the members of RFA, the one with dark hair and eyes. He was entering a luxurious car, carrying a bag, but stepped out to meet us.

“Why did you have to appear, wasn’t my day bad enough?” Zen sighed.

“Hey, that’s rude!” I exclaimed, surprised.

“Yes, it is rude,” the man said, crossing his arms. “I was buying a present for Elizabeth the 3rd when I saw you and was going to greet you.”

“Ugh, don’t mention that damn cat. Makes me sneeze.”

“Elizabeth the 3rd is a cat?” I exclaimed. “Oh, my God, so cute!”

The stranger looked at me and smiled.

“I see you have a fine taste. We haven’t been introduced yet. I’m Jumin Han, you are...?”

“Yuuki.”

“Nice to meet you, Yuuki,” he said, shaking hands.

Zen frowned.

“Jumin Han, trustfundjerk, we’re moving now, so just get in your car and leave us way. For God’s sake.”

He was going to reply something when I interrupted him.

“What’s up with you, Zen?” I exclaimed.

Both looked at me, surprised.

“Why do you take his side? You don’t know him, he’s just a jerk.”

The man sighed.

“You’re being the jerk now,” I said.

Zen widened his eyes in surprise and anger.

“Nice to meet you, Jumin Han!” I exclaimed. “I’m leaving now, Zen, so have fun on your own.”

“It was nice to meet you, Yuuki,” Jumin Han said in a low voice. “I beg your pardon for intruding in your date.”

“It wasn’t a date, you idiot. Don’t talk as if you knew everything.”

I startled. I looked at Zen in anger, feeling my tears come to my eyes.

“Yah, it wasn’t a date,” I said, calmly. “I wouldn’t go out on a date with a jerk!” I continued, losing my nerves.

I walked away with indignation.

“What the heck has just happened?” I asked myself. “This was supposed to be a lovely evening, why did it turn out like that. Stupid Zen. Why does he have to go insulting people?”  
I sighed. Maybe I should have been more patient.

I made a sad and solitary dinner at home, angry at Zen, myself, and the spaghetti that resisted to be cooked.

“Why are you talking so much time to be cooked?!” I yelled at them. “I’m hungry, for God’s sake!”

I finished my dinner, looked at the clock and sighed. It was too early to go to sleep, but I was depressed and bored and if I stood up any longer, I’d have probably ended up  
watching depressing films on the telly. I was not angry at Zen anymore, I must acknowledge I overreacted. I sighed. I would apologise in the morning.

And thus, I went to sleep.

I was awakened by music. Had I left the radio on again? I sat on the bed and turned on the lights, awakening. It was not the radio. This was live music, and was out of my window.  
The guitar sounded good, so I decided not to say anything at whoever was playing it. I heard a voice. Zen?

I put on my glasses, opened my window and saw Zen looking up at me, playing his guitar and singing, smiling at my surprised smile. I laughed. Was he an idiot? I leaned on the window sill, my face on my hand, smiling at him most probably like an idiot. He finished the song and I clapped my hands.

“Shut up!” I heard from the window right below mine and a waterfall fell on Zen.

“Oh, my God.”

That had been my asshole neighbour, a man in his late fifties who was allergic at smiling.

I rushed to the entrance and saw Zen already there, laughing and blushing.

“I think he didn’t like it.”

“Come in, you’ll catch a cold.”

I let him use my shower while I put his clothing in the dryer and dried the guitar, urgently and carefully. I realised I was in my teddy-bear pyjamas, my hair was a mess and I had  
rest of saliva in the corners of my mouth. Gosh, damn me.

I washed my face, but I wouldn’t change my clothes. It was one o ‘clock in the morning, so I think it is understandable.

Zen finished his shower, and a bit latter the dryer finished too.

He finally went out of the bathroom.

“I’m sorry,” I said, before he could say anything. “I overreacted this evening, I just can’t stand people insulting each other,” I bit my low lip. “And I’m also sorry about my neighbour, he’s an asshole.”

He put his hand on my head.

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” he said. “I... I did behave like a jerk, I must admit. I apologised latter to him, which was rather a hard thing to do,” he whispered that last part with a frown.

I laughed.

“I’m glad you did.”

He smiled, blushing.

“That song was to apologise and ask you on a proper date.”

I blushed. I took my hands to my cheeks to conceal it, but probably only made it more obvious. He chuckled, taking my hands and kissing them.

“Z-Zen?”

He looked back at my eyes, startling when he did, blushing.

“It’s a bit too late to be alone with you. I should leave.”

“Will you be safe riding your motorbike at this time?”

“I came here walking?”

“Whaaaaaat?!” I exclaimed. “Your house must be at two hours walking from mine.”

“Well, I couldn’t take the guitar with me if I went in the motorbike,” he scratched his neck.

“It’s quite late, just spend here the night and leave tomorrow morning,” I urged him.

He blushed and widened his eyes in surprise.

“What?!”

“You can use my bed and I’ll sleep in the couch,” I said, taking some blankets.

“Wait, no! And even if I stood I wouldn’t let you sleep on the sofa!” he exclaimed.

“But you’re my guest,” I frowned.

“Okay, remember what I said about men being wolves?” he asked. “Then I...”

“Oh, you’re with that again,” I rolled my eyes. “Remember what I said about men controlling their impulses?” I grinned. “Then, show me you’re a man.”

A storm of emotions went through Zen’s face in that moment, it was so funny. He blushed, frowned, opened his mouth to yell, blushed again, and finally excaimed:  
“Don’t say things that can be misunderstood!”

“I have the context to back me,” I justified myself with a playful tone.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” Zen sighed. “But I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Nope!” I said, jumping and landing safely on it. That was risky.

Suddenly, Zen took me in his arms. I widened my eyes in surprise and looked at him, blushing so much I thought I would turn into a tomato.

“You won’t have your way this time, my princess,” he whispered.

My head exploded and I let myself be carried to my room and put into bed.

“Good night,” he smiled, turning off my lights. Damn Zen.

 

“Alas! A fine dream that was indeed!” I exclaimed the next day. I had woken up with a Renaissance soul.

I went out of bed in a good mood, remembering the dream I had had last night. It had been so crazy. I had dreamt that Zen came to my house to sing to me, stood the night and had sex with me until the sun rose.

I went to the bathroom and had a shower, singing out loud as usual. I finished and went out of the bathroom, my naked and wet body wrapped up in a towel.

“ _Hey, Mr Tambourine man, play a song to me!_ ” I was singing when I heard a voice.

“Good morning, princess.”

It was Zen. It fucking was Zen. I went to the living-room and found him there, serving some pancakes he had made on a plate. He looked up at my puzzled and red face and blushed.

“Put on some clothing!!!” he exclaimed.

“It wasn’t a dream?!?!?” I yelled.

“Go and dress now!”

I looked at myself.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

I rushed to my room and put on my usual jeans and jumper.

Zen was covering his face when I entered the living-room, but I could see the red tip of his ears. So cute. I chuckled.

“Don’t laugh,” he said, annoyed.

“Sorry, I thought last night was a dream.”

He laughed, blushing.

“Silly girl.”

“But you know, after last night, there’s not much to be embarrassed about seeing me with only a towel,” I said, in a careless fashion. He looked at me, puzzled. I put a piece of pancake in my mouth and realised. I turned into a tomato. “Oh, my Gosh da’ wash a drzeam!” I exclaimed.

“What did you dream of?!” he yelled, turning almost as red as I.

“Aaaah! Don’t look at me,” I asked, covering my face behind my hands.

He ended up laughing.

“Ok, we’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Thanks,” I moved my fingers, still on my face, too look at Zen through them, blushing.

“I’ll call you soon to talk about our date,” he told me while he left, making me bush. “I’m really looking forward to it,” he smiled.

 

Nevertheless, that didn’t happen. We kept in touch through messages that became more brief and lessened as the days went by. It was almost a month since he told me about it when I called my sister to whine and complain about his delay.

“And he is not calling!” I told her, putting a spoon full of chocolate ice-cream in my mouth.

“That’s really weird,” she said. “It’s obvious he likes you.”

“I know! Maybe he’s scared of me because of the dream thing.”

“Dream?”

I told her I made him know I had dreamt about him and me having sex. She replied when she managed to stop laughing.

“You’re so clumsy,” he laughed.

I sighed.

“Should I call him?” I asked.

“Yes, and do it before more time passes and it looks weird,” she urged me.

“Okay, I’ll call him right away!”

“Good luck, Yuuki. Call me later so that I can have more fun!”

Silly sister.

“And don’t hesitate: you’re a superhero.”

We hung up. I proceed to dial Zen’s number, since I didn’t want to lose the strength Mimi’s encouragement had given me.

“Hello?” said Zen’s voice in a tired fashion.

“Hi, Zen, it’s me. Is this a bad moment?”

“Eh? Yuuki,” he cleared his voice. “Oh, no, not at all,” I smiled. “What mmm... you need something?”

“Actually I was wondering what’s going to happen to... mmmm... our meeting?”

Meeting? Damn me.

“Eh? Oh, my. I’m so sorry I didn’t call you before, Yuuki. I’m buried in work right now, I think I’m going to faint,” he sighed. “I’m so glad you call me, though. I missed you.”

Still, he didn’t say anything about the date.

“Still, you don’t say anything about our date”, those were supposed to be thoughts only, damn.

“Yuuki, I’m so sorry, I feel so ashamed of myself... I don’t think I can make it any day soon. I wanted to suggest going this Friday, but my manager has told me that we need to buy new clothing for an interview I have on Monday,” he sighed. “I wished you came, but that is too much, right?”

His voice sounded tired and depressed.

“I don’t mind going.”

“Eh?”

“Well, my sister studies fashion and has taken me shopping a couple of times, so I could give you some advice. Besides, I also know a bit about public image thanks to one of my courses, and I could also be of help as a fan.”

“So you want to come?” Zen sounded suddenly excited. “That would be perfect! Well, not perfect since my manager is coming... but great! Much better than going alone with him!”

I laughed.

“Then it’s a deal.”

“But are you sure you want to come? You don’t look as a person who loves going shopping.”

“Mmm... I’m fine if I can see you that way,” did I just say it out loud? Somebody kill this girl.

“I want to see you too, baby. I’m so happy you’re coming. You’ve made my day. No, my week. Thank you.”

I blushed.

“See you on Friday.”

“See you, princess. Muak.”

Muak? Really? I laughed.

That had actually made my week too. I hugged my cushion. I’m not a thoughtful person and I felt really eager to believe Zen hadn’t asked me out because he had to work, so even if it was not a proper date I was quite happy.

After four long days, Friday finally arrived. I met Zen and the cold men who was his manager at the door of the shopping mall. Zen saw me and waved his hand. He had chosen really nice clothing for today. Did he know I liked that style? God, seriously, I even thought he had asked my sister or something. He was wearing grey jeans with a chain on one side, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket, everything quite tight, and he also had big sunglasses which made him look like a celebrity. I mean, he kind of was one, but not that famous. Whatever, hot as fuck. I looked at my simple blue jeans and sighed. At least I was wearing a shirt that day and my contact lens.

I waved back at him, smiling and blushing lightly.

“How’s my princess?” he asked me when he got where I was.

“Ready to save the world.”

He laughed. The eternally-frowning manager looked at me, from the last hair in my humble head to toe.

“I can’t see how a girl like that could help us with your outfit.”

I frowned. Zen was going to complain when I interrupted him.

“I’ll provide some happiness.”

Zen laughed and the manager started to get red with anger.

“Well, what’s the plan?” I asked, crossing my arms on my chest, looking inquisitively at the manager. “I’m Yuuki, by the way.”

“I’m Zacharias Smith. We’ll go to the shops Zen usually buys his clothing and choose something there.”

“Okay, Zack, what...”

“Mr Smith,” he interrupted me.

“Zacharias?” I tried to negotiate. He looked at me in scorn. “What kind of clothing are we looking for?”

“Clothing that suit Zen’s style.”

I chuckled.

“That’s such a vague answer...” Zen looked at me, amused and intrigued. “We’ll go to that café first,” I commanded.

“Excuse me? We shouldn’t be wasting our time playing around with a girl.”

I smiled and headed to the café. Of course, Zen followed me.

“You need me to buy the clothes, Smith,” he said, laughing.

He followed us, reluctantly.

We arrived and ordered. When we were served, I opened the map of the mall my sister had given me after our last shopping. I’m glad I’ve learnt her modus operandi.

“Ok, here we have a map of the mall. The shops circled in red are the ones that interest us the most, since they’re for young men. Zen’s fans prefer him when he dresses like a bad guy, so I’ve marked these four,” I said, pointing at them. “Also, here are the shoe shops, in case you also need to buy a new pair. Zen has already been seen wearing black and white clothing, and grey tones, so I’ve been thinking that we should try with something red or blue. The red has the advantage of the combination with his eyes, but I think a blue jacket would look really good on him if we could get one that has a classic style. To give the ‘bad-boy’ tone, we should focus on the accessories, and for that I’ve marked these five shops in green...”

I kept on talking, displaying the rest of the possibilities. Once in a while, I looked up at Zen, who looked at me in a mixture of surprise and amusement. Not even Zack could hide his look of surprise.

“I think the blue outfit is the better option,” Zen said.

“Perfect, let’s go for it, then.”

Zack didn’t complain.

We went to the mall and started trying clothing on Zen. I could understand why my sister liked going shopping with me so much, I was having so much fun trying clothes on Zen. Of course, with him it should be funnier than with me, since he didn’t complain and even seemed to enjoy it himself. I almost forgot Zack’s present except for the times he complained and the not so frequent instances when he said something useful.

We finished early as I planned.

“We’re done now, so can we just take a rest from work, Smith?” Zen asked.

He crossed his arms.

“You should use this extra time to rehearse.”

“But we programmed all afternoon for the shopping and we have finished in half the time thanks to Yuuki!” he complained.

“Don’t shout at me, Zen,” he said apparently calm but irritated.

Zen looked really mad at him. I didn’t even want to imagine how tired should he be by then.

“Then it’s okay if I rehearse?” he suddenly asked.

“Mmmm... it should be,” he said.

“Does it matter where and who with?”

“I guess?”

Zen grinned. He took me by the wrist and gave the bags to Zack.

“Then take this, Smith, for we’ll start rehearsing right now.”

He started to take me all over the mall, reciting his lines to me. In the musical parts, he took me and started a dance with me, which made me laugh. The people looked as us, but I didn’t mind. Some people realised it was Zen who was singing and they took pictures and filmed us with their phone, but didn’t disturb us. Zack followed us, angry, but he couldn’t infect us with his bad mood, we were having so much fun running and dancing down the corridors and shops of the mall.

“You’ve turned out to be a good dancer,” he whispered in my ear.

I laughed in disbelieve. I had stumbled a hundred times with his feet and my own. We passed next to a sweet stand and Zen bought me chocolates. I blushed when he gave them  
to me singing one of the songs of his character.

Zack eventually got fed up.

“Okay, I’m tired of this. If you, guys, can waste your time like this, go ahead. I’m going home. Zen, I hope you’re ready to face the consequences.”

He stopped dancing ad looked at him.

“Just go.”

He bowed his head and left. Zen sat on a bench.

“Tsk,” he scratched his head. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m so tired of him. He won’t let me rest even if I have some spare time, like today.”

I sat next to him.

“You look really tired.”

I make such good observations the FBI should just hire me.

“I am,” he smiled at me, blushing lightly. “Well, do you feel like going on a date now?”

I blushed, surprised, and nodded. He chuckled.

We went for a walk. I was nervous at first, but little by little I kind of forgot we were on a date. I just thought I was with Zen, so I could be myself.

“At the end, I guess it’s not about 'conquering’ you, but making you happy, I guess,” Zen said in a whisper, out of the blue.

“Did you say something?” I said, coming back to him with my ice-cream

“Nothing. Want to visit O’Brian?” he smiled.

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

We went to the bar.

“Clos’d!” the old man said when he heard us enter.

“It’s us!” Zen said.

“Zen!” he exclaimed. “An’ da loverly gal, Yuuki. Wha’ a nice sueprise!”

“Good evening, O’Brian,” I said, happy.

“Goo’ evenin’, ma’am. Now don’t waste yah time with me, go plai, go plai,” he insisted, disappearing behind the counter.

Zen offered me his hand and I took it, blushing. He took me next to the piano.

“Sing with me,” he asked.

He started to play Come what may, and I laughed.

“You know it, don’t you?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Then sing.”

“You start!” I laughed.

He laughed too and started singing.

I was so embarrassed. Zen’s voice was too beautiful, and I didn’t feel I was the best accompaniment for him. Still, I was enjoying it, and he looked as if he was enjoying it too. I had to concentrate a lot in the part that has different tones for the man and the woman, but somehow I managed. He didn’t stop looking at me, smiling while he sang.

We finished that song and he asked me to sing by myself for him. I satisfied his wishes. I could see O’Brian peeping at us once in a while, smiling.

“Folks,” he eventually said. “I ‘as to open, so if yah don’ wan’ a give a show for da ‘ole bar, I recomen’s yah to come back tomorrow.”

“Thank you as always, O’Brian.”

“Nah, nah, than’ yah, than’ yah, yah is always welcome.”

We left the bar.

Zen embraced my shoulders with his arms while we walked.

“You sing pretty well,” he said.

My head was going to explode.

“That’s not true, but thank you.”

“I’m serious, have you ever had lessons?”

I shook my head.

“That’s a pity,” he answered. “Want to go dinner?”

“I always want to go dinner.”

He laughed.

We went to a noodle bar next to the mall since Zen had his motorbike parked near it.

“Next time, I’ll take you to a proper restaurant, I swear,” he laughed, apologising.

I laughed.

“I’m not really picky, and noodles were created in Heaven.”

“But still, I’d like to take a princess to a place fit for a princess.”

I rolled my eyes.

“What’s a girl like that doing with a boy so handsome?” I heard from a table near us.

Zen startled and looked at them, angry. He turned his look at me, surprised, when I started to laugh.

“So pathetic,” I whispered to my noodles. I was really happy to be with Zen now it was impossible to get annoyed.

He looked at me puzzled.

“It didn’t offend you?”

“Not really.”

He looked at his noodles for a while, thoughtful.

“I thought you hated insults,” I looked at him surprised. “Since, well, the other day...”

“Oh, that. I’m not affected by insults, but I do mind when people insult each other.”

“Why?”

“Well, you don’t know if that person gets hurt.”

“That jerk can’t be hurt. He’s a robot.”

I looked at him, annoyed. He startled.

“You never know, you’re not in his mind.”

“Mmm... sorry.”

We kept on eating in silence and then realised I was maybe too harsh.

“Mmmm...” I started. “My sister was the fatty girl in her class when she was little,” he looked at me, surprised.

“Really?”

“Yeah. The kids all made jokes about her being fat, but she always laughed at them. Still, when she became 14 she just stopped eating. Like that. Zero. She only ate an apple from time to time. My parents would lecture her, but no use. I was witnessing it all and told my parents about the jokes of her classmates. They took her to therapy. Now the children bullied her because she was thin and ugly. Seriously, kids can be terrible. One day, she fainted, and I lost all my patience and started yelling at her. She cried, telling me she wanted to be beautiful. I told her she was the most beautiful person ever, but that she just couldn’t see it. I also said that if her classmates couldn’t see it, it was because they were sunk in their own ugliness. She looked at me, surprised, and told me I was beautiful. We cried together. I am two years younger, so this was a real shock to me. She started to go to a nutritionist and carry on a special diet to recover weight and then maintain a good figure. She gave me all her chocolate, making me become an addict. I cut my hair to show her looks are not important, and she told me I was a superhero because I was being strong for the two of us, which I think is overestimating me too much, but she’s my sister, so... It was a big change in our lives.”

I looked up at Zen, realising I had spoken too much. He was looking at me, surprised.

“The point is,” I concluded. “Someone can be hurt and conceal it, so don’t take things for granted.”

“You’re amazing,” he said.

“Am I?” I laughed. “It was my sister who became such a beauty and started rejecting all the boys who had insulted her before.”

I laughed at the memory of it.

“You supported her and fought with her, which is amazing.”

“I am her sister!” I exclaimed. “Of course I would do that!” I smiled.

He smiled.

“You’re probably right.”

There was a tone of sadness in his voice, but I didn’t want to ask about it. I knew he would tell me when he was prepared.

He drove me home. I said goodbye to him when I got down his bike and gave him his helmet.

“I had a lot of fun. Sorry if I bored you during the dinner,” I apologised.

“I’d have never thought you were so considerate,” he grinned. “Just kidding, I was far from bored. I’m happy I know more about you know.”

I blushed.

“Bye then,” I said, turning.

“Yuuki,” he called me, grabbing my wrist.

He pushed me towards him, putting our faces close. I blushed. He pressed his lips in mine, quickly and then released me. He was blushing.

“Good night.”

I was almost in a trance.

Before he could go, I grabbed his jacket and made him come close to me again. He looked at me, surprised, and I kissed his lips, deepening it when he startled, intertwining my fingers with his silver locks. I broke the kiss when we were left out of breath and chuckled.

“That was too fast,” I complained.

He laughed.

He took my cheeks between his hands and started giving me small kisses in my lips until I threw my arms to his neck and made it last longer again, feeling his breath invade my  
mouth, my eyes closed to concentrate on feeling Zen’s warm lips caressing mine.

We broke the kiss and smiled at each other, bushing.

“It was a lovely evening, thank you,” he said.

I laughed.

“Yes, thank you too.”

We kissed once more before I went upstairs and said goodbye reluctantly, knowing it was going to be hard to wait until we could meet and kiss again.


	8. When You go out with your Idol, be Careful of the Paparazzi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki watches Zen's interview and he says something that makes her panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and encouragement, they keep me alive! And of course, thank you for reading too

I felt ashamed of myself the next day when I woke with a stupid, dreamy smile. I reached for the phone, feeling the moral obligation to call my sister.

“Tell me everything!” she said before I could even say hello.

I told her a not-so-brief summary of yesterday, but didn’t tell her about the kiss.

“Yeah, really exciting,” she said in a bored tone. “So he took you home and you went to sleep like an idiot who has just hung out with a friend?”

“Oh, I almost forgot,” I grinned mischievously. “We kissed.”

I could hear her screaming at the other side of the phone.

“You naughty!” she laughed. “Is he still there?”

“What do you mean? He didn’t spend the night here!”

“Whaaaaaaat?” she complained.

“Come on!” I complained. “We haven’t known each other for so long and you know it would be my first time,” I frowned.

“You dreamt you were having sex and thought it was real,” she reminded me.

“Well, that’s true, but...”

“But?”

“I have to clarify two points here,” I proceeded, coughing. “First of all, I think I do like him, I mean, romantically, not only sexually or as a fan, so I would prefer things going slowly.   
Second,” I hesitated at this point, “I think he has a problem with sex.”

“Eh?”

“I mean!” I clarified. “Not a physical one, but it’s like, he is always concerning about girls feeling forced or something. I think he is one of those guys to whom you have to insist a hundred times on the fact that you are ready to have sex before actually doing it.”

Mimi sighed.

“If that’s true, don’t feel insecure when you have to insist to him.”

“Why would I feel insecure?”

“Remember these words, my little sister, and don’t feel rejected when he doesn’t ‘correspond’ you, let’s say.”

We kept on talking about trivial things and hung up.

On Monday I skipped the morning classes. I know I shouldn’t do that, but I really wanted to watch Zen’s interview on live, even more taking into account that I chose the outfit. I turned on the telly and there he was, looking so hot I could feel the fangirl inside of me going out. I was again Zen’s fan.

“Kyaaaaa, handsome boy,” I exclaimed.

The interviewer asked him all sort of questions about his career and all that, and I kept commenting on Twitter about everything. This was so fun.

“Zen, now we have a very especial question to ask you. You must be aware that you have taken the heart of thousands of fan...”

“Oh, that’s too much,” Zen laughed.

“Has someone taken your heart, Zen?”

I startled.

“All my fans have my heart,” he winked to the camera.

The interviewer laughed.

“But these images got to us recently!”

Suddenly a video of Zen and I dancing in the mall popped out in my telly.

“Whaaaaaaaaat?!” I yelled at the interviewer.

“So, Zen, what relationship do you have with this young lady here?”

“Whaaat?! Don’t ask that!! We haven’t talked about this yet, it’s nothing serious!!!!” I exclaimed at the TV.

Zen hesitated.

“Say I’m a frieeeeeeend!!!” I screamed. “Frieeeend! Frieeeeeend!”

“She’s my girlfriend,” he said.

I froze.

“What? WHAAAAAAT?!”

I jumped off the sofa and hit my foot with the table.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking interviewer! Fucking Zen! Fucking table!”

My phone rang and I picked it up, still screaming. I heard my sister screaming at the other side of the phone. We screamed together. She excited, I panicking. My mother took the phone from my sister.

“Yuu-yuu, you have a boyfriend?”

“What the heck?! You heard?!”

My father took the phone from her.

“Yuu-yuu, who’s that guy on the telly?!”

I hang up.

“I can’t hear the fucking interview!!” I yelled at no one in particular.

I logged off Twitter to avoid haters and more panic.

The interviewer was congratulating Zen.

I must clarify they actually pixelated my face, so my image was protected, but anyone who knew me would clearly have recognised me, even if it were only for my clumsiness and hair.

They kept on talking about trivial stuff I couldn’t concentrate on because I was too flustered.

 

Smith was looking at Zen. He had given a good answer during the interview but he knew that was going to happen. It was obvious. Working with Zen had turned into a nightmare. He wouldn’t listen, he didn’t want to follow his advices, and thought he had something against him. It was too much. First it was easier to work with him, but he was too confident. Zen had only begun in this industry, he shouldn’t relax. Why was that so difficult to understand?

He had to admit that that girl was something. She had done a good job while shopping and she had a brain, but she just couldn’t let Zen make a performance in the middle of the street with her. They were too unconscious and Smith had reached his limits.

“Zen, I’m quitting,” he told him after the interview.

“What?” he replied, surprised.

“I said I’m quitting. I can’t stand your rebellious attitude anymore. Now you’ll have a stable role for the next two months, so it shouldn’t affect you much, you can find another manager in that time, but I’ll tell you something: you should listen to the people who are more experienced than you. This thing with that girl can put in danger your popularity. You got out of trouble easily this time, but don’t think things can always be like this.”

For the first time since they started working together it seemed that Zen was really listening to him.

“I understand,” he said. “Thanks for everything.”

They shook hands.

 

Zen called me half an hour after the interview finished.

“Zen, we need to talk,” I said, picking up.

“Gosh... are you mad at me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, are you doing something? Can we talk now that I’m on my way to the rehearsal?”

“I’m going to school now, and I think we should talk face-to-face.”

“Who cares? We could talk by phone.”

“Well, I do.”

He sighed.

“We shouldn’t meet, I’ll be followed by paparazzi everywhere after what I said.”

“I don’t mind.”

He sighed again.

“You don’t know them. Gosh... Well, let’s do something. Go to O’Brian’s at 9 this evening and tell him you need to talk to me in private in the restroom. Can you do that?”

“Sure.”

“Perfect, see you at 9.”

I got at O’Brian’s.

“My gal, wha’ yah doin’ at dis time heah?” he smiled when he saw me.

The bar was full of people.

“O’Brian, hi!” I smiled. “Look, I need to talk to Zen in private. He asked me to tell you if I could wait at the restroom for him?”

“Suah, me laidy, suah.”

He took me to the restroom and offered me a chair, gallantly. I smiled and sat.

Five minutes later, he appeared with a big portion of cheesecake he put before me.

“Enjoy, me gal.”

So did I, and very willingly. It was amazing. I could spend paragraphs and paragraphs describing how good O’Brian’s cakes are, but I’m sure you prefer to read other things.

I looked at my phone after waiting what seemed an eternity. 9:45.

“’E’s not shawing up ye’, gal? Did ‘e write yah?”

I shook my head. I was starting to get angry. Where was him?

I took my bag and prepared to go.

“Sorry for taking your time for nothing, O’Brian.”

He shook his head.

“T’is always nice to see me gal.”

I smiled at him and prepared to go when he whispered in my ear.

“Don’ yah be too ‘arsh with dah young pal, gal. I don’ knows wha’ ‘appened bu’ I cans tell ‘e don’ look lonely since ‘e brought yah ‘ere dah first time.”

“Thank you, O’Brian”, I smiled.

I headed home when I saw the very own Zen talking to a short-haired girl whom I found somehow familiar. I realised after a while watching them. She was the girl who received us in the RFA party. I could feel the indignation getting to me. What was he doing talking to someone else when he was making me wait an hour? I went home before Zen noticed I was there.

I threw my bag on the sofa, angry. What was he playing at? I put the radio on and it started to sound Abba’s song, _The name of the game_. Thank you, Abba. You always know how I feel.

“ _What’s the name of the game?! Does it mean anythiiiiiiiing to youuuuuuu?_ ” I was singing when I heard my phone ring. I took it without even looking at who it was and continued singing. “ _What’s the name of the game? Can you feel it the way I doooo?_ ”

“Yuuki? I’m so sorry,” Zen’s voice apologised at the other side of the phone.

“Well you should be,” I replied, lowering the volume of the radio.

“Can I go to your place? I think I can avoid the paparazzi.”

I hesitated and sighed.

“As you please.”

He showed up more than half an hour later.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he started. “Gosh, I’m a mess, I’m so sorry.”

He looked tired and desperate, so I guessed something bad had happened and felt a bit guilty for thinking badly of him before.

“Okay, calm down, I’m not angry anymore. Well, I am, but I want to stop being angry, so I’ll listen, alright? First take a seat and I’ll make some tea.”

He sat on the couch, putting his head between his hands. I went back from the kitchen with two mugs of tea.

“Ok, tell me first why were you talking to that girl instead of showing up at O’Brian’s?” I asked.

He looked at me surprised.

“You saw us? I’m sorry I was talking to other girl, there’s nothing between us...”

“I don’t mind it was a girl,” I sighed. “I know there’s nothing between you, it would have been stupid of you to say I’m your girlfriend otherwise.”

He sighed.

“That’s true. Sorry for not showing up right away. She’s a member of RFA and we bumped at each other on the street, and of course, she started to ask about you. I was already late, my rehearsal finished later than I thought because I had to talk to the director about Smith....”

“Who’s Smith?” I asked him.

“Eh? You know him, my manager.”

“Oh, Zack!” I exclaimed.

He gave me a sad laugh.

“Well, my ex-manager.”

“Ha?” I exclaimed, surprised.

“He quitted today.”

“Oh, my,” I exclaimed. “What are you going to do?”

“Find another one, while I rehearse, and while I...” he sighed, “deal with the paparazzi, and while I try not to worry you, or make you angry, or disappoint you, or...”

“Okay, Zen, calm down,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. He was about to have a nervous breakdown or something.

“Gaaaah,” he said, scratching his head. “How can I be so stupid?”

“Zen, listen, you don’t have to worry about me!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me.

“Why?”

“Because, I mean, you said that on TV, but, are we... well, first of all, why did you say so?”

“I-I thought if I wanted to be more than friends with you I shouldn’t deny it in public, for if I did and they saw us together my reputation would die, so if I had to choose between   
girlfriend and friend, I would prefer you to be my girlfriend,” he blushed, looking at me.

I blushed.

“I want to take things easy,” I said. “I... don’t know what I want yet.”

“Gosh...” Zen sighed.

He bit his lower lip.

“Zen, you are too stressed, why don’t you try to calm down now?” I suggested.

“Look, Yuuki,” he said, serious. “I really like you. Maybe I like you more than you like me, but I know you like me too. We can go at the pace that you want, we don’t have to hurry   
things up, but in front of the public I need to pretend we have a serious relationship, okay? We can also just...” his voice trembled, “just stop seeing each other if you prefer...”

“No, I don’t want to stop dating you,” I said.

He sighed. He looked at me with a tired look.

“Everything will work out,” I said, caressing his cheek and smiling.

His cheek was cold but soft and nice to touch.

“And I really mean you don’t have to worry about me,” I continued. “Really, you won’t disappoint me. You can make me angry, but I’m not really difficult to cool down, see? I’m not angry anymore,” he chuckled. “I can do my best to help you as well,” I smiled.

He hid his face between my neck and my shoulder, hugging me. I startled and blushed at the unexpected gesture.

“You’re a superhero,” he whispered.

I blushed even more. He took my hand and kissed it. I smiled.

“You should rest, Zen, you look extremely tired,” I insisted.

“Let me stay a bit more.”

I smiled.

Gosh. At that moment I realised that I had never really considered what I thought of him, what I felt for him. I always avoided thinking about it, maybe for the pressure, maybe   
because it was too complicated, or maybe because of my last experience dating someone, but now that I was with him, having him so close to me, I realised that I could only think about having him closer and closer.

“Maybe I do like you more than I thought,” I said, because thinking and speaking are the same thing for me, just in case you haven’t noticed yet.

He chuckled.

“I hope so.”

I put my hand on his cheek and caressed his lower lip with my thumb, making him shake lightly. He looked at me, somehow annoyed. I chuckled.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I complained, laughing.

“Don’t play with me like that,” he replied.

I kissed him. It was a long, slow kiss.

“You’ve smoked.”

I’m such a delicate little flower who says the right things in the right moment. He startled, blushing, looking away from me.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. I was quitting because I knew you didn’t like the smell. Gosh...”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that. I liked it! Gaaaaah!” I exclaimed, hating myself.

Zen sighed, depressed. I hated myself.

“Zen!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me and I kissed him. He opened his lips in surprise so I took the opportunity to slip my tongue in his mouth, which made me feel an urge to find his. I tightened my embrace and let go a low moan without realising. Zen pushed me, breaking the kiss, looking at me all red and panting.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

“I wanted to show you how much I like kissing you,” I complained, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

“Okay, I believe you, so don’t do that again. Gaaaah!”

I remembered my sister words telling me not to feel insecure or rejected when he denied me those kinds of things, so I thought of it as a compliment.

“Gosh, I’m going back home now,” Zen said, putting on his coat. “You can’t do that again, you hear me?”

“You mean you didn’t like it?” I pouted, teasing him, pretending to be innocent.

He blushed.

“I... all men are wolves and...!”

I took him by the shirt and pull him near me levelling our heads, and whispered in his ear.

“Maybe I am the wolf,” I bit the lobe of his ear.

He pushed me away, his face the darkest shade of red I’ve ever seen on him.

“I’m leaving! I need to rest! I’ll call you!” and so he left.

I laughed until I realised what I had done and started to feel really embarrassed.

“Damn hot Zen! Damn lovely Zen! Damn me!”


	9. Lots of Chocolate Ice-Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki helps Zen finding a manager, but things don't go well.

I woke up with a headache. My parents had kept on calling me throughout the day after Zen said that on TV, and I was sure they were going to go the same thing today. I didn’t even want to call Mimi to explain what happened. I just hadn’t had enough sleep. I got a call from Zen while having breakfast.

“Good morning, princess.”

“Morning.”

“You don’t sound very cheerful.”

“I have a headache. But how are you?”

“That’s not good, you have to take care of yourself. I’m going to rehearse today and this evening I’ll start looking for a manager.”

Suddenly, I turned intelligent.

“Oh, you know, my sister knows this person who used to be the manager of a model. The model retired and he’s looking for something now. What do you think? Maybe you should take him while looking for a better one, but it could be an option. He’s a bit of an asshole, but could help you meanwhile.”

“Mmm... That sounds interesting. Why don’t you give me his number?”

“Okay, I’ll ask it to my sister. I’ll call you later. Oh, I may delay because she’s going to ask me about yesterday.”

He chuckled.

“It’s okay, babe, don’t be on a hurry. Ciao.”

“Talk to you later!”

Yay! I was so happy of being useful. I called my sister while taking a spoon full of Cheerio to my mouth.

She picked up even before I could place the phone on my ear when I dialled her number. I told her everything about yesterday and she seemed to approve it. I proceeded to ask her the number of the manager.

“That asshole? Are you sure?” she asked.

“It won’t be something permanent, so maybe...”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, but if you’re so desperate to help your lovie, I’ll give you his number. Why do I even still have it by the way?”

I frowned. ‘Lovie’?

“Thanks, Mimi.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, here it is.”

She gave me the number and I texted Zen. He sent me a selfie in his rehearsal room. I laughed. He was wearing sport clothing and his usual ponytail was now a bun. So cute. I sent him a picture of my Cheerio, but he asked me for one of myself.

“Don’t be silly,” I laughed to the phone.

However, I sent him one. I was a bit pale and sleepy, but it was acceptable.

The day in school was awful. We had an exam which I couldn’t even finish and my favourite professor announced his retirement.

My sister called me on my way back school. She had broken up with that policeman. Gosh. I told her so stay at my home if she wanted to, but she refused: both of us had to wake up early next day.

I called Zen after dinner, but he didn’t pick up his phone. I sighed for the tenth time that day. I went to the shower to relax and put the radio. _Paparazzi_ , by Lady Gaga, was now on. Seriously? I laughed.

“Well, at least it’s funny”, I told myself.

The radio seemed to go with my mood lately. Just when I went out of the shower, I heard someone knocking at my door.

“Food delivery!” I heard.

“I didn’t order anything!” I exclaimed keeping the door closed because I wasn’t dressed.

“It’s me, silly girl,” I heard Zen’s laugh on the other side of the door. “I can disguise my voice quite well, right?” He laughed.

I opened the door, happy.

“Yuuki!” he exclaimed when he saw I was in my towel.

I noticed and blushed.

“You’ve already seen me like that!” I exclaimed, trying to hide my embarrassing and going to my room to get dressed.

“I brought some cake!” he exclaimed.

My heart raced. Cake.

I felt so tired. I went next to Zen, who was sitting on the sofa, and made myself some room under his arm rubbing comfortably with him.

“Hey, what’s up with the princess?” he asked, surprised but pleased.

“Today was shit,” I replied, taking some cake.

“That’s not good. I’m glad I came, then.”

I smiled.

“I talked to that guy, Freddie. He seems nice,” he said, talking about his possible new manager.

“He’ll turn an asshole in little time. Still, he’s good at his job, so...”

“Thank you,” he said, smiling at me.

“You’re welcome. How was the performance?”

“Nice. The rest of the cast is really good and hard working, so we don’t have any problems in the rehearsals, and that motivates me.”

I smiled, finishing my portion of the cake.

“How can you eat so fast?” Zen laughed.

“It’s because it was good.”

“Do you want some of my piece?”

I know I should have refused, but I couldn’t even contemplate that option.

“You’re so cute when you eat,” Zen laughed.

“Thaf cannof be”, I complained, with a bit of cake in my mouth. “I eat with all my face.”

It was true. I could end up with all my face dirty. He laughed.

“That’s somehow cute.”

I sat on his lap when I finished the cake and he embraced me.

“I could get used to this,” he whispered.

I opened my eyes after a while and realised I had fallen asleep on Zen’s lap. I looked up at him and saw him opening his eyes slowly, waking up. We hadn’t even changed our position, which would give us pains tomorrow.

“You looked so peaceful I fell asleep myself,” Zen laughed. “I guess I’m comfortable?”

I know he was trying to tease me, but I was still asleep and it felt somehow like a dream. I change my position in his lap to face him, making him blush. I put my hands on his cheeks and pressed his lips with my tongue. He startled, fully awake now.

“Stay the night,” I asked, whispering in his ear.

“Yuuki, what are you saying?” he whispered as well, but his tone was surprised and alarmed.

I bit his neck and he trembled. He pushed me away from him gently and smiled.

“You should go to bed. You have school tomorrow, right?”

I nodded. He took me in his arms and put me to bed, kissing my forehead. But sleepy me had other plans. Funnier plans if I may say.

I grabbed his shirt and pushed him towards me, kissing him until I ran out of breath. 

“Stay the night,” I repeated.

Zen embraced me.

“Why do you do this to me?” he asked, not really sorry about it, though.

He took off his shoes and started to kiss and give small bites to my neck, which made me moan and laugh lowly. He took off his shirt and I blushed, looking at his perfect body. I caressed his torso, making him tremble and kissed his chest before embracing him again. I made him fall back on the bed and put myself on top of him, rubbing my face on his chest.

“Zen, Zenny, Zen, my lovely Zen.”

I could feel his body reacting to my love, but it didn’t scare sleepy me.

“Zen, stay the night,” I asked him again, for some reason only sleepy me knows.

He sighed.

“You are half asleep, Yuuki,” he told more to himself than to me.

“Zenny...” I murmured.

He put me next to him, under the blanket. I hugged him and soon fell asleep again.

I woke up and found myself alone in the bed. I found some courage, embarrassed about last night, to go to the living-room where Zen must have been waiting for me. And so he was.

“Good morning, princess,” he said, leaving his phone aside when he saw me.

“Good morning,” I answered.

“I have good news,” Zen exclaimed while I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. “I’m going to have dinner with Freddie tonight to talk about the contract.”

“That’s good.”

“Yes, he wants you to come too.”

I startled.

“That’s not good.”

“Please, Yuuki,” Zen begged me, reaching me the spoon. “I know you don’t like him, but it’s only one night and he’s not that bad guy.”

I sighed.

“I can stand the dinner, but I will not go to the pub afterwards.”

“He said nothing about a pub.”

“Ha!” I laughed sarcastically.

“Thank you, Yuuki,” he said, embracing me from behind. “Now, where’s my good morning kiss?”

“You’d better give it to me,” I answered.

He laughed and kissed me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to stop the clock with my superhero powers and the time came to have dinner. We were going to go to an extravagant restaurant, so I decided to wear the same dress I wore to the party of the RFA, since jeans and a jumper were not the most elegant combination, unfortunately. I was on a bad mood, but tried to calm down to be nice to the asshole. I put on my headphones and listened to _Hairspray_ , which is always a good way to cheer up.

“ _Good morning Baaaaltimore_!!” I sang on the streets, making a little and embarrassing dance, of course.

I got to the restaurant and entered. Zen was already late.

“Hi, baby, you look beautiful.”

“Hi.”

Not long afterwards, Freddie arrived.

“Hi, guys! Zen, nice to meet you. Yuu-yuu, beautiful as always.”

I wanted to smash his face against the wall. Zen looked at me with a confused but amused look.

“Freddie, I’ve told you this several times but call me Yuuki, please,” I said, trying to be polite.

He laughed.

“So cold, Yuu-yuu, you’re always so cold.”

I decided to be a silent witness of the conversation and concentrate on the excellent food before me. They kept on talking about trivialities and soon changed the topic to a more relevant one.

“Well, Zen, I’ll tell you something. I’m working of a project now with a boy who could be a gem in the world of modelling. Now, you know Sarah Wilson?”

“Sarah Wilson? Of course! Everybody knows her as the person who launched into stardom all these actors who nobody believed in.”

 _She’s a magician_ , I thought.

“Well, she’s looking for new stars-to-be, actually,” he grinned. “So think about this. I’ll work with you for the next two week and if you give me a good impression, I’ll tell Sarah about you, okay? Do we have a deal?”

“Deal,” Zen said, shaking hands with him.

Even assholes can be helpful.

“Well, now that we’re done eating let’s grab some drinks, right, Yuu-yuu?” asked me Freddie.

“I pass,” I answered.

“Zen what do you think, is she not coming for real?” laughed the asshole.

“If she doesn’t want to, there’s nothing we can do,” Zen answered shyly.

“Baby-doll, why wouldn’t you come?”

“Because you’re an awful drinker and won’t stop calling me awful names.”

He laughed.

“Hey, kitten, you shouldn’t speak like that to men,” he grinned.

There we were.

“Zen, boy, tell the kitten to come, I won’t enjoy the evening without her.”

Zen gave me a begging look. Seriously? Didn’t he hear what he just said? And our deal? I ended up accepting because I’m silly.

 _It will only be for tonight_ , I thought. _Zen is nervous because this is a big opportunity, so let’s cope with this a bit more. After this I’ll be home drinking hot chocolate_ , I promised myself.

We got to the pub and Freddie held the door open for me. We sat on the bar and they started celebrating their good business. 

“Zen, look at the girl right next to me,” Freddie said after a couple of drinks. “Isn’t she hot? I mean, her face is a little plain, but those boobs...”

Zen nodded, uncomfortable. I wanted to vomit.

Freddie started talking to the girl.

“I want to leave now,” I told Zen.

“Just hold on a bit more, babe,” he asked me.

“You can’t leave, Yuu-yuu,” Freddie said, overhearing our conversation. “I don’t want a party of two men only, and you have to keep an eye on your man!” he laughed.

I fought against my instinct of breaking my glass on his face.

“Yuu-yuu,” he called me. “Ask your sister to call me, she’s hot as fuck. When she called me I thought she finally wanted to come over to my home, but it was because of our Zenny. Tell her to call me.”

“Freddie, fuck off.”

I reached my limits. No asshole messes with my sister.

“Zen, tell Yuu-yuu to apologise!” he laughed. “The kitty’s showing her nails.”

“I’m leaving,” I said, putting on my coat.

“Zen, say something to Yuu-yuu. You can’t control your woman?”

“Your woman!?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I took my glass and emptied its content on Freddie’s face hoping his suit was good, costly and, now, spoilt.

Freddie laughed.

“Yuuki!” Zen exclaimed.

“Fuck off, you two. I’m done with your shit.”

I left the restaurant hoping at least Zen would follow me and give me an explanation about why he didn’t just say something to stop him, but he never did it. Gosh, I felt so stupid. I arrived home and started swallowing enormous quantities of chocolate ice-cream even though I was supposed to have class the next day and should have gone to sleep. I was so angry I could have smashed Zen’s beautiful face against Freddie’s asshole face.

I spent all the week waiting for Zen to call me, but it was of no use. He didn’t even texted me. I would spend hours at the phone with my sister, eating ice-cream and crying because I felt so stupid I was still waiting for him to do something. I’m not usually that kind of girl who waits for the man to call her, I’m cleverer than that, but I really thought I deserved an apology and explanation. If the boy liked me of course, which didn’t seem to be the case. That thought only made me feel more stupid.

“I was used!” I started to yell at my poor ice-cream. “I only need you, I’m sorry I shouted to you,” I apologised, eating my valuable companion.

I was in the second week of indignation and despair when my sister called me.

“Yuuki, my love, my precious sister...”

“What are you going to ask me?” I rolled my eyes, eating ice-cream.

“Hehe. You know, one of my friends from work is sick and we need a substitute for this Saturday. So I was wondering whether...”

“Isn’t the Saturday when you do the thematic stuff at the café?” I asked, worried.

I could almost see her smile at the other side of her phone.

“It will be fun,” she said in a playful tone. “You love the 60s and you haven’t gone out since the asshole’s affair,” that was how we called it, “and we’ll pay you, of course. So... please?”

I had to admit that disguising of a girl in the 60s wasn’t that bad, and she was right. I needed to rest of my own thoughts.

“Alright, I’m in,” I sighed.

“Yay! Thank you! Love you! You’re the best human being ever! You’re a hero!”

We hung up and I prayed for it to go easy. No one heard my prayers.

I went to the café where my sister works and there she was, waiting for me with my costume.

“Welcome!” she said, in a playful tone.

When she said 60s I expected a long floaty skirt and a shirt, but in front of me there was a tight black thing I didn’t even know if it would fit my ear.

“Since you have short curly hair,” she explained, “I thought that a more bad-Sandy-girl look would fit you better.”

I looked at her horrified.

“I don’t think I can get into that.”

“Of course you can, I bought it. You know I always make you in,” she smiled mischievously.

And she made me in. She also put tones of makeup on my face, took off my glasses and combed my hair so that I looked like a black-haired version of Sandy with more curves.

“That little too prominent curve in your belly is going to kill you some day,” my sister said. I stood up and turned to go and stop listening to her. “Oh, my God! That ass!” she said, slapping it. “You’re so hot.”

“Mi-Kyung! I can kill you!” I yelled, calling her by her name.

Mimi is actually a nick name, as Yuu-yuu of Yuuki. I hate mine, she loves hers as you’ve probably already guessed.

She laughed.

We went to the front part of the café and started getting to work. It was quite full, but the customers were nice and not too impatient, so I didn’t feel pressured or stressed. I almost started to think it had been a good idea to go with Mimi and get my head to something else when three figures appeared and seated at one of our tables. One of the girls who worked with my sister asked me to go and take their order. I discovered who they were when it was already too late. Zen, Freddie and a strange woman where looking at me, surprised. Well, not the strange woman, but you know. Zen widened his eyes in surprise and let fall the menu off his hands, blushing and looking at me from head to toe. I crossed my arms and looked away from them.

“What are you having?” I asked, pissed off.

Freddie laughed.

“Why, we are having a splendid time! Shouldn’t you be more polite with the customers Miss?” he grinned.

“I’ll ask another waiter to take your order,” I said, turning before I killed someone.

But I could still hear that asshole speak.

“That was too much,” he laughed. “Zen, I wondered why you would be interested in a plump clumsy shrew, but Gosh...”

I was asking one of my sister’s workmate if I could kick their asses off, when Freddie ended his beautiful remark about me.

“...I wouldn’t mind fucking that damn ass and subjugate the whore.”

I was turning to actually ask them to leave the café when I saw Zen punching the asshole’s face.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Freddie exclaimed.

“Are you?” he replied, preparing to punch him again.

The girl looked at them almost indifferent.

I moved towards them mostly worried about him when I saw Freddie preparing to punch Zen’s face and my fangirl mode activated. Not in the face, I thought. Not in the face, not in the face, not in the face.

I put my wooden tray between Freddie’s fist and Zen’s face, which made Freddie’s punch not reach him, but made me fall in the actor’s arms. Zen’s contact fell so good after so  
long without feeling it. I felt so stupid for thinking that way.

“Out,” I told them. “Get the fuck out of here!”

The other customers looked at us and I wanted to kill them all to eliminate all witnesses of what had happened.

“The boy is waiting for you at the back door. Why don’t you take a break?” my sister told me, smiling.

I sighed. I opened the door and let him in, without speaking. We sat of the sofa of the restroom.

“I’m sorry,” Zen said.

“What for?”

Zen looked at me, surprised and almost angry.

“For what happened now.”

“And what about the other day?” I asked, my voice starting to tremble.

How could he be so stupid?

“Well, I’m a bit angry about that too,” he said. “I think I deserved a better treatment.”

“Excuse me?!” I exclaimed, my eyes becoming watery in indignation and frustration.

Zen looked at me angry and surprised.

“You don’t break up with someone telling them those words and disappearing without waiting for the other to answer.”

I started.

“Break up?” I asked, surprised. “Break up? What are you talking about?”

What was he saying? I covered my face with my hands and let the tears flow, sobbing. Zen froze.

“Yuuki?” he said, softening his voice and caressing my back. “Yuuki, can we talk about this? I think there was a misunderstanding,” I nodded. “You didn’t want to break up with me?”

I shook my head.

“Why would you think so?”

“Well, you literally said you were done with...”

“That was not said to you!” I exclaimed, looking at him, realising the misunderstanding. “How can you think that? No! I said that to Freddie, to that asshole. No!”

Zen covered his face behind his arm.

“Gosh,” he chuckled.

I realised how much pain my words must have inflicted him, since he thought I was breaking up with him with the words ‘I’m done with your shit.’

“How could you think that? I would never say that to you!” I complained.

“I don’t know, I’m too relieved now to think.”

I blushed and kept on crying.

“Yuuki, calm down,” he said, embracing me.

I grabbed his shirt and kept on sobbing in his chest, calming down. He took something out of his pocket.

“There, do you want this?” he asked me, giving me a chocolate bar.

I nodded and broke the wrapping.

“Why do you have one of these?” I asked, biting it.

He startled and blushed.

“I saw them in the convenience store and they reminded me of you, so I just bought some. They’re awful.”

I blushed.

“They’re food fit for God.”

He laughed.

“I thought you wanted to break up since you never called me,” I confessed. “And also thought that you were an asshole.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“You never called me either,” he remarked.

“I was waiting for an apology since you never answered back that asshole.”

He sighed.

“I’m sorry, not everybody has the same capacity of reaction as you do. I honestly was speechless.”

I looked up at him.

“I’m so happy you’re not an asshole,” that was meant to be thought, but I said it out loud because that’s how my mind works. Damn mind.

He smiled and caressed my cheek.

“I kind of behaved like an asshole, so I’m glad you think so. I’m sorry for making you come with us that night.”

I shook my head.

“It’s okay,” we stopped talking for a moment. “I bet I look awful now that I’ve been crying. The makeup must make me look like a panda.”

He laughed.

“It has not gone off, so it must be waterproof.”

“What’s that?”

“It doesn’t go off with water.”

“How am I supposed to take it off then?!” I exclaimed.

He laughed.

“It’s okay, babe, your sister must have makeup remover.”

“I do!” said Mimi’s voice from the other side of the door.

“You stalker!” I yelled at her.

She laughed. Zen laughed as well. I sighed.

“You surprised me with your outfit,” he said, playfully, taking me by the waist and sitting me on his lap.

I blushed.

“Mimi’s fault.”

“I’ll have to thank her then.”

I raised an eyebrow. He embraced me.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

“I missed you too.”

He sighed.

“Without you I felt I didn’t have a single relieve in my day. I only felt I had tones of work and stress. I needed a superhero.”

I smiled.

“Yuuki,” my sister knocked at the door, “I’m sorry, hon, but we need you here.”

“Okay!” I exclaimed. “Sorry, Zen, can we meet latter?”

He nodded.

He took me home. I embraced his waist tightly enjoying again the feeling of the cold air in my hands and my body against Zen’s back.

“I guess Sarah doesn’t want to know anything about me after what happened today,” he said when we got to my house.

“That woman was Sarah?”

He nodded. I sighed. I grabbed his jacket and smiled.

“Thank you.”

He smiled back and kissed me.

“Yes, I’ve been smoking,” he said.

I blushed.

“I wasn’t going to say anything!”

He laughed.

“I’m quitting I promise.”

“Do you want to come?” I asked, pointing my home.

“I don’t think I should.”

I frowned.

“Do you know what couples do when they make up after an argument?”

He laughed.

“Are we a couple, then? You denied being my girlfriend and never talked about it afterwards.”

I blushed.

“But we did talk about breaking up before!”

“What are we, then? What do you want?” he asked, turning serious suddenly.

I blushed and looked at the floor. I approached him and put my forehead on his chest.

“I want you.”

He startled and put his arms round my shoulders.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend, Yuuki?”

I hesitated.

“I want to have something real with you, Yuuki,” Zen said. “I want to go serious. I don’t want to pressure you, but I really like you, so if maybe you feel the same we can try. I don’t  
know why you are so reluctant to define us, but I...” he embraced me tighter, “I want you too.”

I looked up at him. His cheeks were blushing deeply and he had an unquiet look in his eyes.

“I’d like to be your girlfriend,” I smiled. “I think it’s okay if it’s with you.”

He sighed in relieve and hugged me.

“Who else would it be with, silly girl?”

I laughed.

“Want to come with me now?” I asked.

“I’m going home,” he insisted.

I frowned.

“Thought you wanted me?”

He startled blushing.

“Well, you know...” he put on his helmet.

“Not even a kiss?”

He put up the front part of his helmet and kissed me. He was going to break the kiss when I grabbed him by the jacket and pushed him closer to me, making the kiss deeper and more passionate. He took my hands, breaking the kiss and releasing them to take off his helmet. He put me towards the wall and kissed me raising me while I embraced his waist with my legs. He caressed my cheek with one hand and held me up with the other. I sunk my fingers in his hair, moaning lowly. He broke the kiss and looked me in the eye, blushing, with a look of excitement.

“Yuuki, go home, okay?”

I sighed, disappointed.

“Okay.”

We said goodbye and I went to bed, feeling a bitter sweet sensation after what happened today, but hoping for tomorrow to come soon believing nice things would happen. I was wrong.


	10. Why do You Betray me, Chocolate?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki gets sick because she ate too much ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes another chapter!!
> 
> This one has some angst (or so Yuuki says) because Yuuki gets sick and cannot eat chocolate! Let's see how Zen takes care of his sick girlfriend :3
> 
> Oh, also, some smut at the end of this chapter ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading!

I woke up at three am to puke, at the very least, all the meals I have had since I was conceived. I wanted to kill my past self for believing that she could eat that damned chocolate candy she found in the pocket of her coat. Since when could it have been there? I had to admit that maybe it wasn’t only the candy, but the fact that I hadn’t stopped eating chocolate ice-cream in two weeks. Yeah, probably that helped a lot.

I set off my alarm knowing that it was impossible for me to abandon my house to go to school in the morning. The worst thing was thinking about the meals. What on earth would I eat? I cannot live on soup and rice only. I cannot live without chocolate. This is so angsty.

Zen’s call woke me up.

“Uuuuuugh,” I said.

“Good morning, babe. It’s something going on?”

“I vomited the soul out of me today,” I answered as the delicate princess I am.

“What? You’re sick? Want me to go?”

“It’s okay,” I answered feeling a big pain in my belly while I started to be more conscientious of my body.

“I have rehearsals now, but I can go in the evening,” he sounded damned worried. My voice must have been horrible.

“Mmmm... Okay, just come and love me,” sick me asked.

I could almost feel how his heart raced at my words from my bed.

“I’ll take good care of my princess. I’ll be there around seven, babe. See you.”

“Bye, Zenny. I want you to take care of my body,” sick me, so naughty.

He hung up after telling me something I didn’t hear because I was rushing to the toilet to continue with the business I started at three in the morning.

I spent the day in my room fighting with my legs to keep away from the kitchen. I had decided that since my self-control is nonexistent I should just get my nutrients from air, sun and water and with a bit of luck I would turn eventually in a plant which doesn’t get sick.

Zen called at my door before seven.

“Zen, end with my suffering,” I asked him, opening the door.

“Does your stomach hurt, my love?” he asked me, taking me in his arms and returning me to bed.

“Not eating hurts more,” I answered.

He chuckled.

“I’ll make you some soup. Here, I brought you Aquarius. Have you gone to the doctor?”

I shook my head.

“I’ll take you after you eat something.”

“Thank you, Zen,” I smiled. “You are the best boyfriend in the world.”

Zen’s face became deep red, which I thought was lovely. Now I can only feel embarrassment when I recall the moment.

He took me to the doctor, who confirmed my theory about the ice-creams and gave me some pills. When we arrived home, the soup decided it wanted to free itself from my body and went from my warm stomach to the cold WC. Cold as its unmovable heart. I didn’t want Zen to see me like that, so I tried to push him away, but he kneeled by my side,  
holding my hair and my forehead, lovingly and careful. 

“You’ll have to take care of your diet now onwards.”

“Those words give me a greater pain.”

Zen frowned.

“I don’t want to see you like this again.”

He took me to bed and gave me an apple and the medicine.

“It tastes as hell,” I complained. I know, I’m not the best patient.

“Just take some Aquarius.”

I followed his recommendation.

“Are you staying the night?”

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

I smiled.

I soon fell asleep, but would wake up throughout the night feeling sick. Apparently Zen loved my couch, for every time I went to the toilet, he was there, came with me, took me back to bed and stayed next to me until I fell asleep and then went back to the couch again. It was absurd.

“Stay,” I asked him after one of our trips to the toilet before falling asleep. “You have to hold my hand.”

He blushed and held it. When I woke up the next time, he was there.

I slept through the morning. When I woke up I found several messages from Zen. He told me he had prepared some food for me to survive throughout the day and had taken with him all the chocolate. Thank you, honestly, I thought. He also asked me how I was doing in some messages, hoping I wasn’t answering because I was sleeping and not because I was dying. He told me he would be here in the evening again.

I felt bad for him. I could sleep in the morning, but he had rehearsals. He must have been exhausted. I sent him some messages telling him I had spent the morning sleeping and felt better, and that he didn’t have to come. Of course, I thanked him too for everything, he was being just so nice.

He sent me a selfie with one of the other actors of the musical. I knew him too. He had performed in a not really popular musical last year, but was really good. It would be nice to see them together and I told Zen so. Of course, I added he would be better. So cute. I could feel the fangirl and the girlfriend inside me intertwined, becoming one in sick me. Too many emotions. I decided to make the fangirl take control of me since watching Zen musical would illuminate somehow my grey life without chocolate or sweets of any kind.

Zen came during the evening.

“I told you you didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I was worried.”

“You have to rest,” I could see black shadows under his eyes. I sighed. “At least go back home to sleep.”

He hesitated.

“I’ll go if you ask me to, but you were way worse during the night yesterday. Are you sure?”

“It’s okay, I feel better now.”

But just when I was saying goodbye to him, the food I had been eating rebelled in my stomach and made their way out of it, making Zen stay the night.

“Will you feel better if I call my sister tomorrow?” I asked.

“Sure. I would only check on you in the evening.”

And so we did.

My sister spent the next two days at my house. The third one the nausea stopped and I started eating more varied food. The fifth one I was already good.

I looked at my naked body in the mirror. How would I get all that clothing to fit me? I was almost half of what I had been. My family and I have the blessing and damnation to lose and gain weight incredibly fast. In that moment I was as thin as my sister, more or less.

I called Zen in the morning.

“Princess! Hello. How’s my love today?” he sounded really excited and I realised that could be the first time I actually called him first.

“Perfect,” I answered. “No vomits today. No pain today. No dizziness today.”

“I’m so happy to hear that!”

“I wanted to compensate you for your cares,” I said, playing with my hair. “Can I go to your home tonight and cook for you.”

“That would be lovely, babe. But only if it’s healthy food.”

“Healthy for the soul or the stomach?” I frowned, dying for some chocolate.

He chuckled.

“Don’t be upset, Yuuki, you’ll get to eat sweets soon. I have to go. Talk to you later. Bye.”

I rushed to my wardrobe and looked for nice underwear. Nothing. The nicest thing I has was a pink bra and it didn’t even fit me. Why did I have it?

“Mimi I have a fucking emergency,” I said to my sister.

“You mean an actual _fucking_ emergency?”

“I do.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

She arrived to my home with her red velvet suitcase for love affairs.

“Okay, honey,” she said opening it. “Ready to enter paradise?”

It’s interior was golden. She had all kinds of sexual items, from handcuffs to lube and dildos. I felt as if my sister owned a sex-shop in that suitcase of hers.

“I actually lack the basis,” I confessed.

She smiled.

“Don’t worry, kitty,” she took a credit card out of her wallet. “That goes on me.”

We wanted to go to all the shops specialised in underwear in the mall, but the lack of exercise of the past days would have make me too tired to be more than half an hour trying on tangas, so we went to the one Mimi always goes when she has a new crush.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” my sister remarked.

“Yah, I hope I’ll re-gain it soon so that I can actually use my clothes without looking like a lettuce.”

She laughed.

“Or you can start actually taking care of yourself and buy new clothing.”

“I can’t say no to chocolate.”

“You could try exercising and reducing the amount of it.”

I sighed.

“You could exercise with Zen,” she suggested.

“I hope we’ll exercise tonight,” I laughed.

“Oh you naughty!” my sister laughed with me.

I ended up choosing a black laced tanga with the matching bra, a classic.

I put on the dress I tried to put on in chapter one but wouldn’t fit me. I looked cute, actually. Cute on the outside, sexy inside. Grrrr.

“You look so happy,” my sister laughed, hugging me.

“Do I?”

“My sister is in loooooove.”

“Stop that, I’m not in love,” I asked her. “I only like him, I’m happy because I recovered from my awful sickness.”

“Say what you will, but those are loving eyes. Besides, I got to know him better when we were looking after you and I approve of him. He’s a nice guy,” she nodded to reinforce the idea.

I laughed.

“I don’t know how I will pay you back all that you’re doing for me,” I confessed.

“Wow, what was that?” she asked surprised. “You’re my cutie little sister, I want to spoil you the little occasions you let me!”

I laughed.

“I’m so glad you’re happy,” she repeated with a soft look.

I got to Zen’s house a bit later than we arranged. To be honest I did want to make him wait a little. That little turned into five minutes, for I was too excited to wait any longer. Silly girl.

He opened the door and received with his long hair untied and wet. Apparently he had just had a shower. Damn Zen. The surpriser was surprised.

“You look beautiful,” he said, looking at my dress.

“Thank you,” I answered. I was not going to tell him how hot he looked with his hair like that. Nope, not me. I was going to be super quiet and mysterious throughout the night. “You look too good with your hair like that,” damn me.

He took a lock.

“This? I was going to dry it now.”

“Oh, can I do that?”

He startled and then laughed.

“Okay.”

I took the drier and started drying his hair. It was so soft.

“It’s a really good dryer so that it doesn’t spoil my hair,” he started explaining me. “You can borrow it whenever you want to.”

“Thank you,” I laughed.

“I like when you caress my hair,” Zen whispered.

“Then I can tie it for you after drying it.”

“Thank you,” he answered, happy.

I cooked dinner, but Zen wouldn’t let me do it alone.

“I promise I won’t break anything,” I said.

“I don’t trust you,” he replied in a playful tone. “Besides, I want to cook with my girl.”

I laughed.

“You look happy today,” he remarked.

“It’s because I’m recovered.”

We ate dinner and did the dishes together.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you!” Zen exclaimed. “Sarah is my new manager now!”

“For real?!” I asked, surprised and happy.

“She actually called me after the incident at the café and confessed me she was actually about to leave, disgusted at Freddie’s attitude when I punched him so that gave me some points,” he laughed. “Besides she loves my performances.”

“Of course she does! How could you forget to tell me something so important?” I exclaimed, hitting his shoulder with a wet spoon.

He laughed.

“You were so sick I could only think about you.”

I smiled, blushing.“That makes me a bit happy.”

Zen looked at me, surprised, and laughed.

“Silly girl.”

We lied on the couch, hugging and put on a film. It was something strange about a family who thinks the dustcart is actually stealing their rubbish. I chose it because I actually didn’t want Zen to enjoy the film, but to concentrate on me.

“What the hell are we watching?” he laughed.

“Who knows, I’m not even listening,” I said, turning to face him.

“Don’t you prefer watching something else?” he asked, caressing my cheek.

“I do,” I said in a wanton tone, licking his low lip.

“Yuu...” I interrupted him slipping my tongue into his mouth, kissing him.

He let out a moan, which made me feel more excited. I sat on top of him and unbuttoned the first button of my dress.

“Do you want to see more?” I asked, playfully.

“Yuuki...”

I kissed him again, caressing his abdominals and taking off his t-shirt. He changed to a sitting position and hugged me, biting my neck, which made me moan while I scratched his back, panting. I could feel how his body was starting to react.

“Ugh, Zen,” I panted, “let’s go to your bed.”

He unbuttoned the rest of y dress, uncovering my bra. He chuckled.

“Silly girl.”

He started caressing my breasts and I grabbed his hair, moaning.

“Kiss me,” I asked him.

He gave me a passionate, almost violent, kiss which made me groan against his mouth. He got up, lifting me with him, my legs moving to embrace his waist.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, panting, his face all red, his eyes shining with desire.

“I am,” I whispered in his ear, biting it.

He finally took me to his bedroom and threw me on the bed, taking off his trousers. He started kissing me again, on top of me, supporting his body with one arm, the other caressing my right breast. He stopped massaging it and brought his hand under my skirt, rubbing his finger between my legs softly. I started to moan louder, feeling how I got wet at the feeling of his hand touching me. He stopped it to take off my dress, taking some time afterwards to contemplate my underwear. He took me by one arm and made me turn, showing him the back part of my tanga. He bit me softly on my ass.

“Silly, silly girl,” he chuckled.

I turned to kiss him, embarrassed, putting my arms round his neck.

“You don’t like it?” I asked, looking at him.

“I love it, but not enough to let you wear it all night,” he said, unbuttoning my bra with one hand.

He pushed me back on the bed again and took it off, which made me feel a bit embarrassed. He kissed my nipple before licking it, making me tremble and moan, and started touching me again.

“Zen, it feels good,” I whispered, panting.

He took off my pants, placing himself between my legs, caressing them before leaning closer to my exposed body and licking it, looking at me while he did that, making me tremble and moan loudly, panting hardly.

“Zen, please, do it,” I whispered.

He licked his wet corner mouth, making me even more desperate for him. He took off his ponytail, probably just to show off how hot he was all sweaty and half naked with his long hair falling down his back, and put our crotches together, making me feel how hard he was, and tremble with desire. He took off his pants and I realised I had left the condoms in my bag at the living-room. How could I be so stupid?

“Gosh, how can I be so stupid?” I murmured.

Apparently, Zen heard me, for he froze in that very moment and I realised I had fucked it (and not fucked him). He moved away from me and started looking for something, his  
pants probably.

“I thought...” he started saying.

“I left the condoms in my baaaaaag!” I yelled. “That’s why I am stupid. And for what just happened as well, but, well...”

His face was bright red and mine probably as well. I suddenly became conscious of my own and Zen’s nakedness.

“Oh,” Zen said. “I have some here, actually,” he said, pointing at his bed-side table.

I wanted to cry. We looked at each other for a moment. That was awkward. I didn’t even know where to look.

“Hey, babe,” Zen said when I started to cover almost involuntarily myself with the blankets, looking down. He took my chin and made me look at him and blush. “It’s okay.”  
“I feel I’ve just made a fool of myself... again.”

He smiled.

“I think you just brought us closer.”

I blushed and he kissed me softly.

“I enjoyed it,” I said.

“Me too, for real. And now that I know what you want I’ll give it to you whenever you ask me again.”

I nodded, feeling more confident.

He ended up letting me a t-shirt that I could use as a pyjama. I felt so good in it. So cute. It smelled at Zen. Zen looked at me wearing it.

“I like it more on you,” he said, a bit serious, which was strange.

“That’s silly,” I laughed.

I distinguished in his eyes the same look he gave me when we started making up on the couch and decided to tease him a little.

“I don’t think I like it enough to wear it all night after all,” I said, starting to lift it playfully.

He smirked.

“Me neither.”


	11. Meeting the RFA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki goes to meet the RFA!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter!!
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos <3
> 
> Some smut towards the end.
> 
> Thank you for reading :3

I woke up and looked at Zen, who was already awake, staring at me with loving eyes.

“Good morning,” I smiled.

“Good morning, princess. How do you feel?”

“Really good,” I answered, stretching, good humoured.

The night had been... intense. I must admit that I got a bit scared when Zen took off his pants, but there was nothing to be scared of. He behaved like a gentleman when I needed him to behave as such, and as a brute when I required so. I put my hands behind my head, smiling when I remembered the night. He embraced me.

“You look happy,” Zen said.

“I am,” I replied, caressing his long hair. “You look happy too.”

“That’s because I enjoyed last night a lot,” he smiled.

I smiled back.

“Me too.”

He made me some breakfast. Too much fruit, no chocolate. I frowned.

“Healthy but tasty,” he said.

“Don’t use my words against me, cruel being.”

He kissed my forehead, laughing.

“Don’t make that face, look like a baby,” he teased me.

I repeated his words in a funny voice, which didn’t make me feel more mature, but he laughed more, which made me have to hold back my own laugh.

“You also look like a baby sometimes, and are older than me,” I remarked.

“Not that older,” he hesitated. “I don’t actually know your age.”

“Oh, I’m still 17 since my birthday is in December,” he froze. “Zen? You alright?”

“I’m 23,” he said, pale.

“I know, I’m you fan. Everybody knows.”

“I’m six years older and you’re still underage.”

“Yah, I’m glad you can do subtractions.”

He assimilated it looking at his breakfast while I finished mine. I kissed him on the cheek when I went to clean my dishes. When I came back, he was still looking at his breakfast. He turned when he heard me walk next to him and took my hands.

“You should take more care of yourself!” he exclaimed.

“Zen, we’re talking about you here!! I almost had to rape you last night!!!” I yelled.

“Don’t say that!” he blushed.

“My birthday will come soon, so I’ll be 18, does that make you feel better?!”

He thought for a moment.

“A little.”

“There’s nothing we can do about your age or mine, so just stop thinking about that! Besides, girls mature earlier”, I remarked, going back to my seat, “so we have the same...” I miscalculated and fell on the floor instead of sitting on my chair, which didn’t support my words.

“Oh, my God, Yuuki, are you okay?!” exclaimed Zen, going next to me.

I jumped and sat quickly on the chair.

“Nothing happened,” I said, blushing.

He looked at me, holding back his laugh.

“Yah, sure, nothing,” my face became redder, and he couldn’t hold it anymore. “Are you really okay, baby?” he laughed.

“I am,” I wanted to kill both of us.

“I want you to meet RFA,” he suddenly said.

I looked at him and smiled.

“That would be great.”

They were having a meal that noon and he had asked in advance if I could go, so I shouldn’t worry about the sudden appearance. Still, I was quite nervous. I knew the RFA was like Zen’s family, probably even more important than his biological family, and there I was, a clumsy little girl. I’m not usually that insecure, but the fact that she was going to be there made it all worse. That woman who was always telling Zen to be careful with his career made things tense for me, or would made them. I only hoped the rest of the members would easily accept me as Zen’s girlfriend. I was sure all of them were as formal and responsible as Jumin Han or Zen’s fan.

I arrived there wearing another of my sister’s presents: a light blue dress as posh as her, but didn’t put on my contact lens. I wanted to achieve the perfect point between elegant and casual, which was rather difficult. We got to a posh building in a posh area to meet at the posh penthouse of the posh Jumin Han. I should have worn my lens after all, I thought.

Zen’s fan opened the door for us and looked at me with distrust. I offered her the best of my smiles, hoping it was, indeed, the best of my smiles and not a scary one. I was a mess. I heard Jumin Han’s voice inside the penthouse.

“Once again, I am not to waste my energies answering that question, Saeyoung.”

“Oh! It’s Jumin Han!” I involuntarily exclaimed, happy to hear a familiar voice.

The woman startled and Jumin Han appeared behind her.

“Oh, it’s Zen’s date, Yuuki if I recall your name correctly.”

“Indeed!” I answered, feeling really posh. “And you are Jumin Han!”

He chuckled.

“You can call me Jumin.”

“Sorry, you told me your full name right away, which I found funny and now it’s like a collocation to me.”

He laughed and kissed my hand.

“Please, feel free to come inside.”

He put his hand behind my back to lead me into the building. I looked back at Zen, smiling. He was red with anger.

“Hey, jerk, what do you think you’re doing!” he yelled.

He took my hand and brought me towards him.

“Zen?” I said.

“Don’t listen to that jerk.”

“What’s the matter?” I asked, confused.

“He’s just being a jerk to annoy me.”

“He’s just being a gentleman.”

Jumin Han sighed. Suddenly a red-haired head appeared behind Jumin Han.

“Oooh! It’s the girl who was dancing alone in the penultimate party!” he exclaimed. “Nice to meet you, I’m Saeyoung!” he shook my hand impetuously. 

“You mean, the girl who was sharing a marvellous dance with her punch,” I replied, offended.

He burst out laughing.

“You’re right!” he exclaimed.

“What’s he talking about?” Zen seemed really irritable.

“I danced with my punch at the party I went to. Eh? But what does he mean with penultimate party? You didn’t invite me to the last one!” I realised, offended.

Another girl appeared behind Saeyoung.

“Nice to meet you, Yuuki, I’m MC!” she shook my hand. “Jaehee, shake hands with her, I’m sure you haven’t done it yet.”

Zen’s fan approached me and shook hands with me. I started to feel less tense, they all looked so nice. Nevertheless, I could feel Zen was getting more and more pissed off, for some reason.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Yoosung,” a blonde boy offered me his hand shyly.

The red-haired guy put his arm round his shoulders.

“Be good with Yoosung, he was so nervous because we were going to meet you,” he said in a playful tone.

“Saeyoung!” the blonde boy blushed.

I laughed. The twin of the red-haired guy also introduced himself and I started to get nervous again when I realised I only remembered Jumin Han’s name.

Zen started to complain about the drinks because Jumin Han only had wine.

“Assistant Kang, call driver Kim and tell him to get more drinks,” he said, pissed off.

Assistant Kang sighed. I went towards Zen to tell him how tsundere I found him, when I stumbled with her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Assistant Kang.”

I didn’t want to say it. I just didn’t remember her name. I wanted to die. She looked at me with a scary expression and everybody started laughing except one of the twins, who   
sighed.

“Jaehee, don’t be so mad at her, she’s funny!” the other girl said.

“Yes, sure,” she sighed.

“I’m so sorry, I’m just so bad at remembering names!” I started to apologise when I realised I had practically confessed I didn’t remember any of their names.

“Eeeeeh! What was my name, then!” the twin who laughs asked me.

“Eeeh... mmm... Sae...” I looked at him. I couldn’t even differentiate him from his brother. Then I realised he had amber eyes and his brother’s were green. “Oh, your eyes are beautiful,” I said, surprised.

Zen startled and the blond boy blushed.

“Oh, thank you!” Saesomething replied, surprised. “We both have glasses, so we’ll get alone well,” he said, out of the blue.

“Oh, probably!” I relied, very happy.

“What’s with that logic,” his twin asked, annoyed.

Zen put an arm round my shoulders.

“I’ll show you the views,” he said, trying to lead me to one of the windows.

“Zeen! Don’t take her! She’s funny!!” the funny twin asked in a playful tone.

I looked at the views. They were certainly amazing. I was feeling Zen’s eyes on me when I asked him.

“Why are you so rude with them?”

He startled.

“They put me on my nerves,” he sighed. “They are always messing around except for that trustfund kid, who only stares and makes annoying comments.”

I laughed.

“But I think you love them.”

He blushed slightly.

“Maybe.”

“I heard you!” the funny twin said.

“Shut up!”

Zen was going towards him when I grabbed his jacket.

“I’m glad you brought me here,” I smiled, blushing a little.

He blushed, surprised. And it was true I was happy. It really looked like a family lunch and I was having a great time and didn’t get anxious during the meal despite Jaehee’s momentary looks of silent reproach.

Zen took me home when we were done and I asked him to come inside, which he accepted immediately.

“I finally have you all for myself,” he whispered to me, hugging me from behind when we entered my apartment.

I laughed, closing the door behind me.

“You think they liked me?” I asked.

“Not even they are foolish enough not to like you. It’s impossible not to like you,” he answered, spreading kisses all over my neck.

I moaned.

“You want me?” I said, turning to face him and unbutton his shirt.

He grinned.

He lifted me and I put my legs round his waist, kissing him deeply, meeting his tongue with mine. Zen pulled me against the wall and put his hands under my skirt, rubbing his crotch with mine, driving me crazy when I felt how hard he was already.

I made way with my hands to his trousers and unbuttoned them, putting my hands under his pants, caressing his bare skin, which made him moan while biting my neck stronger than before. He put his hands under my pants in revenge, laughing lowly when he noticed how wet I was and introduced two fingers inside of me, making me tremble and moan in consequence, tightening round his fingers. He pulled them out, leaving me wanton, and sucked his wet fingers with a grin, looking at me in the eyes.

“I want you now,” I moaned.

He moved my pants to free my wet entrance and grabbed his crotch, after putting on a condom he had on his pocket, and moved it playfully round it, making me groan in need.

“I need you,” I whispered in his ear, licking it afterwards, which made him moan and make way inside of me, hardly.

I yelled his name, grabbing his hair while he moved, still standing in the entrance of my apartment, my legs round his waist to make him get deeper and harder inside of me. He pulled me harder against the wall and grabbed my breasts strongly, making me groan loudly in pleasure, grabbing his hair harder and biting my low lip.

“You’re so sexy when you make that face,” Zen moaned.

He put us on the floor, making me turn and thrusting deeper into me, grabbing my waist with one hand and my hair with the other.

“Ugh, harder,” I moaned.

He trembled and groaned at my need and I turned my face to see him while he moved deep into me, making me tighter and driving me closer to the edge.

“Yuuki,” he moaned louder, “I’m going to cum.”

“Me too.”

He started to move faster, making me tremble while I came, screaming his name, making him finish a bit afterwards. He pulled out of me and took off the condom still panting   
and covered by sweat. I turned round to look at him, still lying on the floor.

“You’re awesome,” he whispered, panting and lying next to me, embracing me. “You sure I was your first time?” he smiled, hiding his face between my neck and shoulder.

I laughed.

“I am.”

He faced me to kiss me and I dig my fingers in his hair, embracing his waist with my legs, moaning lowly in his mouth.

“Give us a break, babe,” he laughed.

I frowned.

“It’s your fault for being so lovely,” I teased him.

He blushed deeply, surprised, which made me laugh.

“If that’s the case, I’ll take responsibility,” he concluded, taking me to my room for round two.


	12. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki wakes up to find she'll have to babysit her cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New OC! This little boy will give some problems, but I hope you like him!
> 
> Thank you all for reading <3

The sound of my phone woke me up. I made my way to the bedside table under Zen’s arm and took it.

“Yaaaaah?” I said, still asleep.

“Cheer up, Yuu-yuu! I’m aunty-aunty, your favourite auntie!”

I sighed.

“Hi, hi!” I answered as happily as my dreamy state allowed me. “’Sup?”

“I have a surprise for you! I’ll be there in five minutes.”

She hung up.

I stared at my phone, confused. Then I looked to my sleeping boyfriend. His arm was still on my side of the bed, where I was before, his mouth a bit open in a smile, breathing deeply and peacefully. He was just beautiful. The images of the night came to my head. It had been a long and pleasant night. The more I had of Zen, the more I wanted. I leaned next to him and embraced him, which made him wake up.

“Good morning, princess,” he said, smiling and kissing my forehead.

“Good morning,” I replied, embracing him tighter.

“Want some breakfast?”

I nodded. We were making pancakes when the doorbell rang and I remembered my aunt’s words.

“Oh, fuck,” I exclaimed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“What’s the matter, babe?” Zen asked.

“My aunt called me before and told me she had a surprise for me, which means I’ll be in charge of my little cousin at least for today.”

Zen frowned. It was his free day and that was not the idea we had of spending his free spare time. I opened the door and Dave jumped to my neck, embracing me.

“Yuuki!” he exclaimed.

I forgot all my distress, he’s such a cutie little thing. His light blue eyes looked at me with happiness and he offered me some chocolate.

“I bought it with my savings,” he smiled.

My heart jumped in my chest.

“Oh, my, Dave you’re so cute. Where’s mum?”

“She went after leaving me at your door, but I don’t mind because Yuuki is funnier than mum.”

“Oh, Dave!” I exclaimed, embracing him.

“Hi!” Zen greeted him.

“Who’s this person?” Dave asked, surprised.

“Oh, this is my boyfriend, Zen. Zen, this is my little cousin, Dave.”

“Nice to meet you, young man,” Zen said, kneeling to meet his gaze.

“Nice to meet you, old man,” Dave replied with the best of his angelical smiles.

I laughed.

“Oh, Dave, you’re so cute.”

Zen didn’t seem so charmed.

“You shouldn’t say that things,” he replied, faking a smile.

I remembered the conversation about our age.

“Zen, he’s a child, don’t say that,” I told him. “Oh, I should go and take care of the pancakes. Do you want some, Dave?”

“Please, cousin Yuuki.”

I left so the kitchen and Dave and Zen were left alone in the entrance.

“What do you want to do today, young man?” Zen asked, friendly.

Dave kicked his leg, making Zen almost fall on the floor.

“I’m going to marry cousin Yuuki, you old fool,” he whispered, making faces to him.

Of course, I didn’t hear this part, for I was in the kitchen. Zen stood up, amazed.

“You’re too young for her!” he exclaimed.

Zen, don’t take so seriously a ten year-old boy, for God’s sake.

“And you are an old fooooooool!” he said, showing him his tongue.

Dave, for God’s sake, don’t talk like that to my boyfriend.

They went to the living room, angry, and I entered it with the pancakes, completely oblivious to their fight.

“Tada!” I exclaimed. “This one is for my precious Dave, for its shape is the prettiest,” I said, putting it on his plate.

“Eeeeeh?” Zen complained. “It’s not fair, I helped you making them!”

“Thank you so much, Yuuki,” Dave replied. “But it’s true, Zen should have the best one,” he smiled.

I shook my head, moved.

“Zen, how can you say that?” I scolded him. “Thank you, Dave, but I want you to have it,” I kissed his cheek. “Such a good boy.”

He laughed and started eating it after thanking us, glancing significantly at Zen while I wasn’t looking. We finished our breakfast, some happier than others, and Dave helped us   
washing the dishes, but he got all wet.

“Oh, Dave, you want to take a shower while your clothes get dry?” I asked him.

“I want to have a shower with Yuuki!” he smiled.

“Whaaaaaaaat?!” Zen exclaimed.

“Of course,” I smiled.

“What are you saying?! You’re going to have a shower with him? He’s a boy!” Zen was going crazy.

“What do you mean? Of course I am! He’s my little cousin, we’ve have hundreds of showers and baths together.”

“All man are the same!” he yelled at us while we went to the bathroom.

“Zen, he’s a little booooooooooooooooy,” I repeated. “Take his clothing and put them in the dryer.”

I closed the door of the bathroom, leaving Zen with Dave’s clothing in his arms and feeling he had lost the war already. He could hear our laughing while he was sitting on the couch. He didn’t know whether to leave or keep an eye on us. I still think it’s absurd to care so much about your girlfriend’s little cousin, but I’m glad it made a funny anecdote.  
We decided to go for a walk. Zen was still angry for a reason I didn’t understand at that moment, which made me angry as a result. We entered café.

“Dave, love, why don’t you sit here while Zen and I order at the bar?”

He nodded, reluctantly.

“Now, Zen, explain,” I started. “What’s going on with you today?”

“Nothing,” he frowned.

“Aaaaagh!” I exclaimed, indignant.

He startled.

“Yuuki?”

“If you’re going to be like this all the day and will not tell me why, why don’t you just leave?”

He looked at me, hurt.

“Oh, don’t make that face,” I replied, feeling a bit guilty.

“It was my day off,” he pouted. “I didn’t want to spend it babysitting a boy who wants to marry my girlfriend.”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“He still says that? That’s why you were like that? Oh, my.” I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was too much.

“I’ll just leave,” Zen said, annoyed.

I grabbed him by the wrist before he could turn to go away.

“Don’t you leave, silly boy,” I asked him. “I want to be with you too. Sorry for laughing. He’s only a little boy, don’t take him so seriously, it’s absurd.”

“He even kicked my leg,” he complained. “What if he had hurt me and I couldn’t play the new role?”

“He’s ten years old!” I laughed. “I don’t think he can injure you so bad, don’t overreact.”

He frowned. I laughed and kissed him, taking his hand, which made him blush more than I thought, he’s so cute.

“Come on, I’ll talk to him.” He nodded. “You can be so childish,” I laughed at which he frowned.

We got the coffee and hot chocolate for me and Dave and went back to the table.

“Dave, here you are,” I gave him the cup.

“You took very long,” he complanied.

“Dave, Zen and I were talking at it seems you were not very friendly to him earlier.”

He startled and frowned.

“I told Yuuki I was going to marry her,” he complained, his eyes getting watery.

I smiled tenderly.

“Don’t say that, I’m too old for you,” I laughed, caressing his head. “Look, I really like Zen, so you have to be good to him. He’s really childish sometimes, so he’ll take it very seriously if you’re bad to him.”

“Don’t say that!” my boyfriend childishly complained.

Dave frowned.

“I love Yuuki,” my cousin said. “You love her?” he asked Zen.

He blushed and I startled. We’ve never said each other those words yet!! Damn child! Zen opened his mouth to answer.

“Dave!” I exclaimed before he could say anything. “You... you know Zen’s an actor? Want to hear him singing? We could go to O’Brian’s,” I said, looking to Zen, laughing a bit too much.

He had a serious look. He nodded.

We were silent on the way. Only Dave went speaking and laughing, holding my hand between Zen and I. I could feel Zen’s look on me. Was he offended because I had interrupted   
him? Most probably. Or maybe he was wondering why I had interrupted him. Did I love him? I wanted to die. Damn Dave. 

I sighed. Things seemed to go faster than what I wanted to due to external agents. I was named Zen’s girlfriend thanks to an interviewer, and now this. At least I could choose when to have sex. I looked at him and he looked away from me. Why did we have to make things so complicated? I didn’t want to think about loving or liking, I just wanted to be with him as we were, that’s all.

We got to O’Brian’s.

“Clos’d!” he yelled.

“It’s us!” Zen replied.

“Oh, folks,’ow... Ha? Wha’s da’? No, no, no, I don’t wan’ no boys ‘ere. Dis is no kindergard’n. I don’t wan’ no boys,” he started to complain.

Dave and I looked at each other significantly and nodded. He approached O’Brian.

“Hi, sir, I brought some chocolate I bought with my savings,” he said, making his heart-melting smile, offering him a chocolate bar.

O’Brian blushed, suprised.

“I guesses ‘e can stai a litt’l.”

We went to the piano and Dave started requesting all those difficult and learned songs his cousin (me, hehe) had shown him. Poor Zen did as well as he could. Apparently, Dave liked it. Soon enough, he was sitting next to him, asking for more songs, the ones he really wanted to listen, actually, not only trying to tease Zen. I listened, delighted, eating O’Brian’s cake, feeling in paradise. If I die and go to Heaven, I’ll probably find O’Brian’s cake there, it’s so delicious.

Not so later on, I received a call from my aunt, telling me he would arrive to my apartment in ten minutes to pick up Dave. We rushed home, afraid we wouldn’t be there on time. We didn’t of course.

“Yuuki, darling, where were you?” she complained.

“You should have told us you were coming sooner,” I replied, annoyed.

“Don’t say that,” she laughed. “Hi, love, did you have a good time with our Yuu-yuu.”

“I had, mum,” he smiled.

“And who is this handsome boy?” she asked, looking at Zen.

“He’s Yuuki’s friend,” Dave answered.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I replied, laughing.

“Nice to meet you,” Zen said, shaking hands with her, smiling.

If my aunt weren’t married she would have tried to date him, most probably. I thought she was going to melt right there. They left and we went up stairs.

“I’m glad he finally liked you,” I sighed. “You were amazing this afternoon,” I complimented him to put him on a good mood, but he kept looking at me in silence.

“Yuuki, you don’t want an answer?” he asked me, serious.

I startled.

“An answer to what question?”

“Whether I love you or not.”

I froze. I had completely forgotten about that.

“I don’t need an answer right now,” my voice was shaking as I tried to sound calm and smiled.

I looked away from him, smiling and opened the door of the apartment. He followed me inside and I sat on the couch.

“It’s been a long day,” I started saying, trying to change the subject. “You must be tired too, want some tea?”

“I want to answer the question,” he said, coming to me.

I went to the kitchen.

“I think I’m going to make some tea after all.” Why didn’t he understand that I didn’t want to hear it?

He followed me.

“At least tell me you don’t want to hear it,” he said.

I startled.

“You’re still thinking about that? It was the question of a ten year-old boy, you shouldn’t think about it much,” I tried to laugh.

He sighed.

“I’m leaving.”

I turned to face him. He was going out of the kitchen, taking his coat.

“Wait, you don’t have to,” I told him running after him.

“It’s obvious you don’t want to listen to it, but you don’t say it. You don’t let me give an answer either.”

I bit my lower lip.

“It’s just...” I started to say.

“You don’t love me, that’s all,” Zen interrupted me. “I’m just silly, you were trying to stop me from making a fool from myself expressing my feelings...”

“Zen, it’s not that,” I tried to tell him.

Wasn’t it? Did I love him, then? Gaaah!!

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Zen, no. I just haven’t thought about it,” I bit my lower lip.

He opened the door and I rushed to stop him.

“I want to leave,” he said. “Please.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to go home thinking something sad that’s not even true.”

“What’s the truth, then?”

“I don’t want to think about it,” I confessed.

“Why?”

I bit my lower lip.

“It’s complicated. I don’t like complicated things.”

“That’s selfish.”

“You’re also being selfish.”

He sighed.

I looked up at him for the first time since we entered the apartment. His eyes were teary and his cheeks blushing a bit. He looked beautiful. So sad, but beautiful.

“I think it’s hard to love someone like me,” he suddenly said.

Why would he say that? I didn’t want him to think I didn’t love him, the thought of that broke my heart.

“It’s easy to fall in love with you,” I answered. “I love you.”

When I don’t think, it’s easier to say what I feel. I’m not thinking when I speak most of the time. I guess we just had to wait a moment in which I was not thinking for me to speak my heart.

He startled, blushing, and started to cry.

“Oh, fuck,” I whispered. “Did I say something weird? Was it bad timing? But you wanted me to say that. I’m so bad at these things!” I exclaimed, frustrated.

He embraced me.

“I love you.”

I blushed.

“It’s a bit scary,” I said.

“Why?” he laughed.

“It’s a strong feeling. I don’t know how to handle it.”

“Just love me more.”

I laughed.

“That doesn’t make sense. I don’t know how to handle it now, imagine if I loved you more!”

“You have to say you can’t love me more, silly girl,” he complained.

“Oh, I’d never say something like that,” I laughed.

Finally, he laughed too. He broke the embrace to face me and kiss me.

“I love you.”

“I know, Zen, don’t be childish.”

“But I really do!” he complained, playfully.

“Let’s make dinner,” I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t ignore me, babe!”

He took me in his arms and carried me to my bedroom to show me all his love.


	13. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Yuuki, Zen, Yoosung, Saeyoung, Saeran and Anna celebrated their Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this may be a little off-season, but since the story is taking place in winter, I wanted to write a Christmas special. Of course, I couldn't let behind the twins and their partners, so I included them, so this chapter has three parts: the first one, about Yuuki and Zen; the second, about Yoosung and Saeyoung; and the third one about Saeran and Anna. You can read the part you prefer and you don't have to have read the first work of the series to understand them!
> 
> Also, there's some smut in the first and last part of the chapter.
> 
> I really hope you like it!

“Merry Christmas, my princess,” Zen said at the other side of the phone.

“Merry Christmas!”

I love Christmas because you get to eat tones of Christmas sweets, ginger biscuits, and my mother always makes extra cake at home, so I just couldn’t wait to go to my parents and was in a really good mood.

“What time should I pick you up to go to the cinema?”

“Ha?” That was strange. We never talked about going to the cinema on Christmas time. “I’m spending Christmas with my family,” I said.

Zen remained silent for a while. He didn’t want to pressure me, but I could notice he was disappointed. It was the first time in years that he had a girlfriend on Christmas and he wanted to spend a lovey-dovey day with me.

“Is anything the matter?” I finally asked.

“I thought we would spend the day together.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. My family has a strong Christmas tradition, I cannot help it. We can go tomorrow if you want to.”

“Am I not seeing you today?” he complained.

I thought for a moment. I didn’t want to give my childish boyfriend a hard time on Christmas.

“Want to come? I don’t think there’ll be any problem.”

He thought for a while. It was a bit strange going to a family meal all of a sudden when he hadn’t met them before and without warning, but he really wanted to spend Christmas with me.

“You sure?”

“My sister has invited her boyfriends hundreds of times, so it should be alright.”

He agreed. I called my parents and informed them.

“You’re taking your boyfriend here? Oh, my, I should buy him a present!” my mother exclaimed when I told her.

“Don’t worry, he’s been a bad boy!” I laughed.

I was actually happy that Zen was coming, for it could be nice to spend Christmas with him. We would go to an RFA event together and then head to my parents’ home for lunch. I put on my white dress (again). I should consider buying another one. Besides, as I was thinner than before, it looked a bit strange on me. Of course, Zen went on and on about how beautiful I looked when he saw me, that silly boy.

He looked at himself a couple of times on the motorbike mirror before going to the place where the event was taking place. It was a big party in which people made donations. I hadn’t brought anything, damn me.

“Oh! It’s Jumin Han!” I exclaimed when I saw him.

“Yuuki, it’s a pleasure to see you, as always.”

Zen had been stopped by some fans and was taking selfies with them. Jumin Han took me where the rest of RFA members were staying.

“Wait a moment,” I asked him, grabbing his suit to stop him, “I can’t remember their names!”

He started to list them when Zen appeared in front of us. He looked above us and turned pale.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, looking up.

There was mistletoe above Jumin Han and I.

“I beg your pardon,” Jumin Han said, kissing my lips.

Wow. That turned out more embarrassing than I thought.

“What are you doing, you jerk?! She’s my girlfriend! Take your jerk’s hands out of her!!” Zen started yelling, rushing towards us.

“Zen, it’s okay,” I tried to calm him.

“Oh, you’re under it now,” Jumin Han noticed and tried to kiss him too.

“What the fuck are you doing?!?!” he yelled, blushing deeply, going away from him and taking me with him.

I started to laugh.

“That was funny!” I said between chuckles.

“That was definitely not funny, and I’m really offended that that jerk tried to kiss me and kissed you,” he whispered that last part.

“Oh, Zen!” I laughed. “We don’t need mistletoe to kiss,” I remarked, stopping him and getting on my tiptoes to give him a small peck on the lips, making him blush.

“I’m still angry.”

“Oh, my Zenny,” I said in a playful tone. “Don’t be mad at me, oppa,” he looked at me almost in disbelief, blushing deeply. I got closer to him, caressing his hair. “You don’t want your princess sad on Christmas, do you?”

“Th-that’s foul play,” he complained, looking away from me, bushing.

I heard someone coughing behind me. It was Assistant Kang. Damn, why can’t I learn names in a normal way?

“Hi, Jaehee,” Zen smiled, pushing me away, his cheeks still red.

I frowned.

“Hi, Jaehee!” I was so happy I got it right. She made a gesture similar to a smile towards me. I was grateful she appreciated my efforts.

More RFA members came and we spend the morning together. We had fun the little time we could stay before going to my parents’.

My mother greeted us at the door.

“What a beautiful young man!” she exclaimed, charmed at Zen.

“Yuu-yuu, welcome home,” my father said, ignoring my poor boyfriend. “I’ve prepared your sister bedroom so that you can sleep there with her and the boy stays at your bedroom.”

“You let Mimi sleep with her boyfriends when she took them home!” I complained.

“Yuu-yuu, you cannot trust men even in your parents home...” my father started lecturing me.

I looked at Zen. He was nodding in agreement. What the fuck, Zen, we’ve already had sex tones of times...

“Yuuki!!” my sister exclaimed, hugging me. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Mimi.”

Zen and I helped my mother in the kitchen while my father and Mimi finished preparing the room for Zen. He looked thoughtful.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked him, smiling.

“I was wondering... your parents call you ‘Yuu-yuu,’ but your sister doesn’t...”

“Yah, because I hate it.”

“But Freddy also called you Yuu-yuu...”

I wanted to stop him from thinking about that.

“Well, just to piss me off, of course.”

He looked at me, suspicious.

“That asshole,” my father said, appearing suddenly in the kitchen. “At least your new boyfriend seems a better person than him.”

Zen froze and I facepalmed.

“Damn dad,” I whispered.

My sister turned pale.

“Let’s change the subject,” she suggested, and I’ll never be more thankful.

“We shouldn’t think badly about people on Christmas,” my mother lectured my father. “Besides, Yuu-yuu had reasons to like him at first.”

“Oh, my God,” I sighed.

I looked at Zen. He was looking at me in disbelief and amazed.

“I’ll show you the garden!” I said, grabbing him by the wrist and taking him out.

“You dated Freddie?” he asked me when we were alone.

I snorted, looking at him.

“I did. It was around two years ago and only for four months, thanks God.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s part of my obscure past.”

“I think I had the right to know,” he complained, angry. Which of course made me angry.

“Well, ninety percent of the things I know about you, I’ve read online, so I don’t know what you are complaining about.”

He startled.

“What do you want to know?”

“About your family, for instance.”

“Tha-tha’s complicated.”

“I have my own concept of ‘complicated.’ For me, dating Freddie was complicated. It’s complicated to talk about it.”

“But it’s different, since I’m your boyfriend now. It concerns me.”

“I can’t see how it should concern you,” he startled, with a painful look. “It was a long time ago, if it doesn’t matter for me now, it shouldn’t matter for you either.”

“But if it didn’t matter, you’d talk about it.”

“No, if I don’t talk about it it’s because I don’t give a fucking damn, and I just don’t feel like it.”

“And your fear for compromise, has that something to do with it?” he was looking more hurt and angry as the conversation advanced.

“No, that’s just me.”

I turned, trying to leave, tired of the conversation.

“Yuuki, wait, we’re not over talking about this.”

“Well, I am! Why do you keep pressuring me? It’s the same thing as being your girlfriend, or saying ‘I love you,’ those are just meaningless words, why don’t you let it be?”  
Of course I didn’t mean the things I said, but I’m so fucking stupid I just said them. Zen froze at my words.

“They mean the world to me,” he replied.

His eyes became watery.

“Fuck, Zen, you know I didn’t mean that,” I tried to reason with him.

“I’m sorry for all the pressure.”

“Zen, don’t... Fuck. Gosh, I’m sorry, I just wanted to stop talking about that,” I hugged him, but he stood motionless and didn’t hug me back. “Zen, please.”

“No, I’m mad at you.”

I sighed. I preferred him being mad at me than being sad. The problem was that he was probably mad and sad.

“I love you,” I said. “I really do, I’m sorry, don’t be sad.”

“How can I know if you love me when you don’t like telling me you do and never show it?”

Okay, that was too much.

“What the fuck?” I exclaimed, breaking the embrace. “I told you I loved you before! And I show it! Zen, I’ve cried in front of you, do you know how many times I’ve cried in my life? When my sister got sick and my grandfather died, that’s it, so stop saying shit.”

“Yuu-yuu, Zenny, come back inside,” my mum exclaimed, happy. “I’m sorry for interrupting your lovey-dovey conversation.”

“Sure,” I said.

Zen followed me.

We remained silent all meal. I tried to cheer up with little success. It was annoying watching how Zen could hide his anger more than I. We almost turned it into a competition. We both laughed our ass off trying to look happy and cheerful, my sister looking at me with a scare look.

I helped my mother with the dishes while my father made some tea and Zen and Mimi just talked about some shit at the living-room. I went to my room afterwards and saw Zen’s stuff there, which made me angrier. I jumped on my bed and bit the pillow.

“Damn Zen,” I whispered to it.

I went to my old desk and took the diary I used to write when I was 15, the age I started dating the asshole. I was a damned fangirl filled up by hormones and was starting to feel ashamed of teen me while reading it. I opened the window to let the fresh wind clear my thoughts. Of course I forgot, as I do every year, that the lock was broken and when I tried to unlock it, I almost fell through it, for I didn’t expect it to open up so easily. I screamed and heard my parents laugh from the living room, as every year, as well as a pair of feet rushing up the stairs.

“Damn you, when are you going to fix it!” I yelled at the floor, stamping on it to call my parent’s attention downstairs.

Zen entered my room.

“You okay?”

He was panting and blushing slightly as a consequence of going up the stairs so fast.

“I am.”

I was also a bit happy he worried about me, even when we were so angry. I felt all the sadness I couldn’t feel before because of the anger and my eyes started to become watery.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, worried, coming close to me.

I nodded.

“Where?” he asked, taking my hand gently to soothe me.

I took my hand to my chest. He widened his eyes in surprise and looked at me.

“I hate being angry with you,” I said.

He suddenly hugged me.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I regretted saying those things the moment I said them.”

“You’re getting my habits,” I laughed.

He chuckled.

“I think I am.”

“I’m sorry to,” I kissed him, wantonly. I had missed loving him the hours we had spent angry. I know it’s silly, but I couldn’t help it.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” at that moment I realised what Zen meant when he said I didn’t tell him I loved him. I mean, he said it hundreds of times a day, and I had only said it twice since we started dating. “I mean, I love you too.”

He smiled.

“I just don’t like saying it so often,” I blushed.

He startled.

“You embarrassed?”

I shook my head.

“Those are important words, I don’t want them to lose their special meaning.”

“So you don’t think they’re meaningless?”

“I told you I didn’t mean that,” I complained.

He hugged me tighter.

“What am I going to do?” he asked. “I love you too much.”

I blushed and felt how my heart was going to get out of my chest. Hearing him saying it like that was too much, I almost felt dizzy (and stupid, I felt really stupid for feeling that way, like a shoujo manga stupid girl).

“Your heart is racing,” he chuckled.

“Stop saying things like those, or I’ll die,” I complained.

“But I like that you get nervous, you’re so cute.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“I don’t want to,” he said, playfully.

“Then, I’ll make you nervous.”

I broke the embrace and rushed to close the door. Zen looked at me with an eyebrow up.

“You won’t do anything weird with your parents at the ground floor,” his eyebrow seemed to be saying.

But I knew my parents were taking a nap, as they always do in winter. My sister and I used to take that time to look for our presents, open them and wrap them up again, changing the label with our name if we liked the present of the other best. That left Zen and I with plenty of time to do as we pleased. Though I hoped that my sister didn’t change my presents or something.

I pushed him against the bed after locking the door and went straight to unbutton his trousers.

“Yuuki!” he exclaimed, sitting up on the bed.

“Shh!” I said, getting my face close to his and putting my finger on his lips. “You don’t want my family to hear us.”

He blushed and I could feel the beast being released while I placed my hands under his trousers. I kissed him, pushing him back on the bed, sitting with my legs open on top of him, my hand still caressing his crotch, making him moan lowly, complaining.

“Now be a good boy and let your girlfriend play with you a little,” I whispered in his ear, making him tremble.

He was so hard already it made me more impatient, but I wanted to tease him a little. I pulled down his trousers and pants and grabbed him, licking the top slowly and shyly. He moaned.

“Yuuki, stop it,” he whispered, looking down at me.

“I don’t want to.”

The feeling of my breath so close to his bare skin made him shiver and he grabbed my hair. I put the tip in my mouth, moving my hand slowly and sucking a bit, making him grab my hair harder and bit his lower lip. He looked so sexy doing that, it made me moan.

“Ah, Yuuki, fuck.”

He moved back and sat on the bed, leaning his back on the wall. He put his hands on my cheeks and moved me gently back to his lap, putting some locks of my hair behind my ears while I resumed my task.

I was a bit nervous, for I had never done it before, but when I looked at him so defenceless, asking me for more with his look, I got too excited to let the nerves overcome me. He pushed himself deeper in my mouth.

“Yuuki, harder,” he moaned, lowly.

I complied, making him bite his low lip again. I started to go faster and suck harder, feeling more comfortable and excited at his reactions from the pleasure. He bit his hand to repress a moan.

“I won’t last much more,” he whispered, his breath becoming more elaborated and letting go off my hair, to grab the blankets.

I continued faster, moaning, grabbing his hand with my free hand, looking up at him while he closed his eyes and bit his lower lip again. He moaned my name.

“I’m going to cum, Yuuki,” he warned me.

I moaned in response and he came. I tried to swallow as much as I could, but some got out of my mouth wetting my hand and bed. I looked up at him, a bit embarrassed. He was still panting, caressing my hair lovingly and I didn’t know whether I should kiss him or go wash my mouth or something.

“You are good at it,” he suddenly said.

I startled, blushing.

“Come here, silly girl,” he asked me, opening his arms.

I hugged him and he kissed me, making me feel more and more embarrassed.

“You don’t have to kiss me,” I whispered, covering my red face behind the back of my hands.

“And you didn’t have to swallow. I thought you were going to let go before I came.”

“I was enjoying it,” I complained, embarrassed.

“And I enjoy kissing you,” he chuckled, kissing me again.

We cleaned the mess in a rush and went down to the living-room to eat some cake.

“You made up?” my mother asked us with an innocent smile. We startled and I almost died eating the cake. “Don’t try to hide you were angry,” my mother laughed.

“Gosh, mum, yes, we’re fine now.”

“Why do you get so nervous?” my sister asked, playfully. “I was in my room, it seems you did a great job,” she whispered to me.

“I can kill you,” I whispered.

My father looked at us, expressionless.

“Yuuki, you’re still thin,” my sister pointed out.

“Zen and her must exercise quite often,” my silly mother said in a meaningful tone.

My sister started laughing and I decided to ignore them, eating my cake. Zen looked as if he was going to die.

“You’ve made a really big cake,” Zen pointed out, changing the subject. “It’s really delicious, can I take some home?” he asked politely.

My mother nodded in approval.

“If your girlfriend doesn’t eat it all,” my sister said.

“Normally I eat half of it,” I told him, proudly of my mundane achievement.

He laughed.

We spent a nice evening. Eventually, my father grew more and more comfortable with Zen and they ended up talking about motorbikes and music. My taste for music was, fortunately, the same as my father’ –my mother had the same musical ear as a brick. 

We had a delicious and big dinner which made me the happier of human beings and Zen and I went to watch the fireworks from the garden.

“This is quite romantic, isn’t it?” I asked him.

My family had left us alone, so we were hugging, sitting on a rolling chair.

“It is. I’m so happy right now,” he said, hugging me tighter.

I laughed.

“You finally get your so long wanted romantic Christmas.”

He laughed.

“The best part is being with you,” he whispered.

I blushed.

“I’m glad you’re here too.”

We kissed.

We went back to the living-room and we gave each other the presents. My parents gave me tones of chocolate, which made me the happiest girl in this world, and they gave some to Zen as well.

“I have a present of both of you,” my sister said, giving me a box.

It was a wonderful piece of lingerie that I put back in the box before my parents could see it. Zen blushed and my sister laughed. I gave them their presents and they went to sleep, leaving Zen and I alone in the living-room.

“I have something for you,” he smiled.

“I know,” I laughed.

He gave me a small bag and an envelope. I opened the envelope first. It was a VIP ticket for his next musical, the back of it signed by him.

“Oh, my,” fangirl mode activated. “Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my.”

“Like it?” he laughed.

“A lot! Aaaah! I’m so happy!” I exclaimed, embracing him.

“Open the other one,” he laughed.

I did. It was a beautiful silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant, a “Z” engraved on it. I usually find these things too eccentric, but this one was not too big or striking, and I found it beautiful.

“I really like it,” I said, surprised.

He blushed.

“Thanks God. I was afraid you weren’t going to like it,” he sighed.

I laughed.

“I have something for you as well,” I said, embarrassed, giving him a small bag.

He opened it, his eyes glistering, discovering the hand-made bracelet. I put up the sleeve of my jumper, showing him mine.

“Matching bracelets!” he exclaimed, surprised.

I blushed.

“It’s not as nice as yours, but I thought you would like it. I made them myself.”

He covered his mouth with his hand, blushing, staring at his bracelet.

“I love it. Help me with this.”

I tied it round his wrist and he contemplated it, delighted.

“Don’t overreact,” I laughed.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

He hugged me.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed.

We went to our rooms, kissing each other a good-night kiss, and went to sleep.

Just kidding.

I infiltrated in his room and we had some Merry-Christmas gentle sex. Those were the best Christmas I ever had.

   
***

Saeyoung was sleeping when the phone rang. He knew it was Christmas that day, but he just didn’t want to go out of the bed. Maybe because it was Christmas. His brother had already declared he was going to lock himself up in his room, he hated Christmas as much as Saeyoung feared them. He took the phone.

“Yes?”

“Saeyoung, it’s an emergency!” Yoosung’s voice sounded alarmed.

Saeyoung jumped out of the bed and started dressing himself.

“What happened? It’s everything alright?”

“No, it’s not. Please. I need you to come. Please?”

Of course he would go.

He rushed out of the door, saying good-bye to Saeran in a rush, dying of preoccupation. What could have happened?

He knew Christmas was an important time for Yoosung and he usually followed all Christmas traditions. Maybe his house was burning with him inside because he couldn’t cook the damn Christmas biscuits properly, or the Christmas tree had fallen on top of him, or something. Yoosung’s voice sounded so urgent. He didn’t usually ask him to go there so desperately, so something really big should have happened. Saeyoung almost started to cry, he was so worried.

He got there in half the amount of time it usually took him to arrive to Yoosung’s and knocked the door.

“Yoosung, it’s me,” he yelled. “Please, open the door.”

The door opened, but there was no sign of Yoosung. The house was dark, illuminated only by candle-lights.

“Yoo...?” Saeyoung was saying when he was hugged from behind.

“Merry Christmas,” his fiancé said.

Saeyoung turned, surprised.

“What’s going on?”

Yoosung was looking at the floor, blushing deeply, grabbing Saeyoung’s T-shirt.

“I know you don’t like Christmas, but I... I... I really wanted to spend it with you.”

He looked at him when he said that, his eyes becoming teary.

“Oh, God, Yoosung,” Saeyoung sighed.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, shyly.

“I’m relieved now, but I’ll be angry in a minute. Can you even imagine how much did you worry me with that call?” he exclaimed. 

Yoosung buried his face in his fiancé’s chest.

“It was the only way I thought I would be able to get you to come here.”

Saeyoung sighed. He knew he was right.

Saeyoung looked around him. The candle lights and the small Christmas tree illuminated a table settled with cat-shaped Christmas biscuits and pudding. There was also Honey Buddha Chips and Dr Pepper.

“I made them myself,” Yoosung said, shyly. “I thought you would like them cat-shaped more than with Christmas motives.”

Saeyoung couldn’t help laughing at his boyfriend’s cuteness.

“You’re so cute.”

“You’re not angry?”

“How can I get mad at you?” he sighed, caressing his cheek.

Yoosung smiled and kissed his lips softly.

They ate the biscuits and pudding. It was surprisingly delicious. Yoosung was so excited. It was his dream spending such an important day with the most important person in his life, and so he told him. Saeyoung blushed and scratched his head.

“I’m having a good time too,” he said.

Yoosung’s smile widened.

“I have something for you!” he exclaimed.

Saeyoung froze. He hadn’t got anything for him.

“Yoosung, wait, you don’t need to give me anything,” he said.

“It was not me, it was Santa!” he exclaimed, happily.

Saeyoung looked at him getting a box and a bouquet of red roses he offered him, blushing deeply and making him blush too. He took the roses and the box, flustered.

“I don’t deserve all this,” Saeyoung complained, shyly.

“I decide that!” Yoosung exclaimed, frowning. “Just tell me if you like it, it’s embarrassing,” he complained.

Saeyoung opened the box. It had a lot of things inside. Too many things.

A booking to a cat café for them to go together, a pair of soft, wool gloves, a special edition of Honey Buddha Chips called HBC Honey+ he couldn’t even imagine how hard it would have been for Yoosung to get, and a framed photo of the RFA. Saeyoung looked at it closely. It was the picture in which they had held hands for the first time. He felt his eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t believe how much time Yoosung must have spend getting all those thoughtful presents. He looked at him. Yoosung was blushing, staring at him, expectant. Saeyoung couldn’t hold the tears anymore and covered his face with his hands, lifting his glasses.

“Saeyoung?” Yoosung said, worried, his voice trembling. “Saeyoung, you didn’t like them? Did I offend you? Aaaah, what should I do?”

Saeyoung couldn’t see him, but he was sure he was crying. He took him by the wrist and brought him closer to him, hugging him, sobbing on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you so much. I don’t deserve you. Thank you.”

Yoosung startled.

“You liked them?” Saeyoung nodded and Yoosung sighed. “Then, you liked them a lot,” he exclaimed, happy.

Saeyoung nodded again. Yoosung caressed his hair and back, trying to calm him down, smiling and blushing.

“I love you, Saeyoung. I love you a lot, so don’t say you don’t deserve me, or any of the presents.”

That only made Saeyoung cry more. Yoosung broke the embrace and dried his tears, chucking dearly.

“Come on, try on the gloves, my mother taught me how to make them,” he said, happy.

He helped teary Saeyoung trying them on only to discover they were too small.

“Ooooh! I can’t believe it!” Yoosung complained.

“I love them and I’ll wear them forever. Even in summer,” teary Saeyoung exclaimed.

“Don’t say that!” Yoosung laughed. “I can make another pair.”

Saeyoung embraced him.

“I have nothing to give you, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t mind,” he laughed. “The best present you could give me was spending Christmas with me.”

“Then I guess you don’t want a special Christmas LOLOL item,” Saeyoung chuckled, teasing him.

“Ha? Did you get it? I do! I want it!” Yoosung exclaimed.

Saeyoung laughed.

“It’s all yours. I’m all yours. You can take whatever you want from me, I belong to you.”

Yoosung blushed and his heart started racing.

“I have one more thing I want to do,” he said.

Saeyoung looked up at him. Yoosung took him by the hand, leading him to the centre of the room. He pointed up to the lamp. Mistletoe. Saeyoung chuckled.

“You don’t need that to kiss me.”

Yoosung blushed while his boyfriend leaned towards him to kiss his lips, softly.

Those were the best Christmas they’ve ever had.

   
***

Saeyoung rushed out of home. Of course Saeran already knew Yoosung’s plan. It didn’t annoy him, for Yoosung had even asked him in advance. He felt better that way, alone at home. Christmas sucked.

He looked at his phone and at the selfie Anna had sent him. She was wearing one of those ugly Christmas jumpers. He just couldn’t see the fun of it. People looked stupid just getting excited for a day that was supposed to be special. For him it was always the same shit. It had always been so. 

He heard the damn door asking the password to someone. He went to the living room, pissed off, to see who it was in the security cameras. He wouldn’t get a rest even with his brother out? It was Anna. He should have imagined.

“Merry Christmas!” she exclaimed, entering the living-room, kissing him.

It annoyed him. Why did he have to receive a special treatment because it was Christmas?

“I thought you were going to be with your family.”

She frowned.

“I wanted to be with you.”

Saeran startled.

“I just hope you didn’t want to come just to be ‘the saviour of my Christmas’.”

He actually repented those words the moment he uttered them, but he couldn’t help thinking there was some true in them.

“That’s unfair,” she said, truly offended.

Saeran sighed.

“Come in.”

She sat on the sofa, still angry, and wouldn’t say anything, or look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, looking away from her, scratching his hair.

“Okay,” she said, softening her voice. “I really want to be egoistic today, Saeran,” he startled, confused. “I love Christmas. I love the decorations, the ugly jumpers, Christmas activities, and I want to enjoy them with you,” she concluded, touching his nose with the tip of her finger. “So I’m going to be egoistic today. I know you don’t like Christmas, but I don’t mind, you’re going to spoil me. So, first of all, put on this ugly jumper.”

It was really ugly. Saeran looked at it, snorting, and then looked at Anna, realising they matched. Shit, why did they have to match? It made it more difficult to say no to her if she looked at him with that shinny face, she was beautiful even with the damn jumper.

He took his off, and put on the Christmas jumper. He looked at Anna. She was blushing.

“So cute,” she whispered.

Saeran blushed.

“Don’t tease me, how can someone look cute in this?” he bushed.

“Don’t I look cute?” she pouted, pretending to be hurt. Saeran’s face got even redder.

“Sh-shut up,” he said, looking away from her.

She laughed. 

She got to take a selfie of both of them with their matching jumpers.

“Now, let’s bake!”

Saeran was dragged into making Christmas biscuits.

It was actually funnier than he thought. It was so easy to tease Anna making ugly shapes with the pastry, pretending he didn’t know how to do it, and they both ended up fighting with the flour while they waited for the biscuits to cook in the oven.

“Do you want to have a shower with me?” Saeran asked her, embracing her from behind, touching one of her breasts.

“No,” she said, moving away from him.

Saeran frowned. It was always the same thing. They had been dating for moths, but she would only let him kiss her and touch her breasts. She wouldn’t let him see her naked of in her underwear, and she would get flustered and nervous if he took off his t-shirt.

“Okay.”

He was started to think maybe she was confused. Maybe she only loved him as a friend, but she thought she liked him.

“You know I had a bad experience with that,” she said, looking away from him.

He nodded.

“Sorry.”

Sometimes he got scared thinking about that. What if she suddenly realised she didn’t like him? Nevertheless, at that moment she turned to face him, happy again, her clothing and hair still full of flour and all dark thoughts went away with the light Anna’s smiled spread.

“They must be ready now!”

Saeran’s biscuits looked awful, and Anna wouldn’t stop laughing at them.

“What’s that?” she pointed at one of them

“That’s Rudolph,” Saeran answered amused.

She burst out laughing.

“Poor Rudolph!”

Saeran found him laughing out loud with her. They finished the biscuits.

“Well, what’s next?” Saeran asked amused.

“The presents,” Anna answered, shyly.

Saeran got pale. He didn’t have any present for her.

“But I don’t have...” he started to say when Anna put a finger on his lips.

“Please, don’t talk,” she asked, embarrassed and almost worried.

Saeran was starting to worry about himself. What the hell did she have for him to make that face?

She stood up hesitantly.

“Don’t talk,” she repeated, blushing.

Saeran nodded. She suddenly took off her jeans and Saeran widened his eyes in surprise. She then proceeded to take off her jumper. She was wearing a red piece of lace lingerie. Saeran’s face became redder than ever. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. She was too hot. She was too perfect.

She covered her face with her hands.

“Say something.”

“You-you asked me not to talk,” Saeran got to utter.

“Am I making a fool of myself?”

Saeran shook his head. Then realised she was not looking at him.

“I’m just surprised.”

“Like it or not?” she exclaimed, redder than the lingerie. She looked about to cry.

“For God’s sake, how couldn’t I like it?” Saeran asked, blushing as much as her.

“This is weird,” Anna said.

Saeran moved towards her and embraced her.

“What should I do now?” he asked, embarrassed. “I want you so bad.”

Anna moved her arms around him, hugging him tighter.

“Take me,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m ready. C-can I have you as my Christmas present?”

Saeran’s heart raced. He took her in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, leaving her on the bed, gently, and taking off his jumper and t-shirt. He lied on top of Anna, kissing her gently, burying his fingers in her hair. Her hands were holding his arms with strength. He moved his hand under the lower part of her underwear after licking his fingers, touching her gently. Anna moaned, closing her eyes, but stood still, tense.

“Are you sure about this?” Saeran asked.

Anna opened her eyes and nodded. Saeran took off his trousers and pants, almost laughing at how Anna looked at him. He took her hands and kissed them, making her blush, and put them on his chest, letting Anna caress him. She caressed his tattooed arm with the tip of her fingers, which made Saeran feel somehow uncomfortable. She sat up and kissed it.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m showing I’ve accepted that part of your life too,” she smiled.

Saeran blushed. He made her lay on the bed again, kissing and touching her, making her feel more and more comfortable until she started to take the initiative, caressing also Saeran’s crotch, rolling his arms and legs around him and pulling him closer to her. He took off her underwear, put on a condom, and started teasing her entrance, which made her moan in delight and complain.

“Tell me you want me,” Saeran asked.

She looked at him.

“I want you.”

Saeran got slowly into her, trembling at the sound of her loud moans and the feeling of her insides tightening around him. He tried to be as gentle as his excitement allowed him, making sure he didn’t hurt her.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, panting.

She shook her head. He went a bit deeper, touching her to give her more pleasure, making her tremble and moan under him. He smiled at her face of pleasure.

Saeran started to move faster and she hugged him tighter, one of her hands buried in his hair, the other grabbing his ass to make him go deeper, making him moan and move more carelessly. The feeling of her body trembling under his, her breasts rubbing with his chest, and her moans were making Saeran too excited. She started to yell his name, close to the edge, and they both came little afterwards.

Saeran felt different from those other times he had had sex. Those times he always felt he needed to take control, submit the girl, and even hurt her. With Anna it had been the other way around: he was so afraid of hurting her, and he didn’t feel dirty afterwards. He only wanted to lie close to her and embrace her.

They covered themselves with his blankets and Anna placed her face in Saeran’s chest.

“Hug me,” she asked.

He complied and Anna put her legs around one of his.

“Mmm... did you like it?” Saeran asked.

“Yes, I did. Did you?”

Saeran startled.

“Of course I did.”

He blushed at his own words. Anna laughed.

“I love you.”

Saeran froze. It was the first time in his life someone told him they loved him apart from his brother. Anna hadn’t even realised she had said it, it had come out so naturally. She looked up at him, feeling him tense. He had teary eyes.

“What’s up, darling?” she asked, concerned.

Saeran realised he was about to cry and put her face back against his chest.

“I love you,” he said.

She laughed and hugged him.

“Yes, yes,” she laughed. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

“Merry Christmas.”

They fell asleep, feeling those were the best Christmas they’ve ever have.


	14. When the Exams Week Finish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki and Zen argue and end up taking a decision Yuuki regrets immediately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a chapter with some angst >.< I hope you like it anyway and I swear things will get better.
> 
> Also, some smut towards the end of the chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

That week I had been quite busy. It was exam week and I hadn’t studied much, so I had to study, do exams, cry, study, cry, do exams, write dissertations and critical articles, die, etc. Zen also was focusing on his show. As a consequence, the following week I could only think about one thing.

“I have finished my fucking exams!!!!!”

I had a free week to finally enjoy myself.

“I’ll watch all of Zen’s musical, check out what’s new in Broadway and the West End. I’ll also go out with the fan club of Sierra Boggess and lay on my bed until I can’t remember how to walk anymore...”

I received a call.

“Babe, how did the exams go?” Zen asked me.

“They were shit, but I’m finally done, so I’ll let the desperation of the failures to future me!”

He laughed.

“I’m sure you did perfect. Want to hang out today?”

I thought about it.

“I was thinking of spending some time on my own now that I can finally enjoy myself.”

The silence on the other side of the line could be almost heard as much as if Zen were screaming.

“I haven’t seen you in a week and I thought we could go somewhere to celebrate you’re done.”

“Maybe tomorrow?” I insisted.

He sighed.

“Fine, see you tomorrow.”

He hung up.

I was a bit angry actually. What’s wrong about wanting to be alone? I spend most of my free time with him, it’s normal wanting to be alone. And that’s what I told him the next day.

“You didn’t even ask me how did my rehearsals go,” he complained.

“Come on, Zen, seriously?”

That was taking place in what was supposed to be our nice date after the exams.

He frowned.

“Do you really care for me?”

“Zen, for Christ’s sake! What are you talking about? If I didn’t care for you, I would be hanging out with Sierra Boggess’ fans instead of being on a date with you as I planned to.”

He looked at me.

“You can leave if you want to.”

“I know,” I replied, getting more and more angry.

We went for a walk, but the tension was not dissipated with the fresh air. It was still there, sticking to my coat and my hair, oppressing my chest, filling the space that surrounded Zen and I.

“This is shit,” I whispered, though I could tell by Zen’s face he had listened.

“Yuuki,” he said, turning to me, “do you think we should give us some time?”

I stopped walking.

“What do you mean?”

“Aren’t we fighting all the time? Do you think we really understand one another?”

“I don’t know, that’s why we have to get to know each other more, don’t you think? Aren’t you overreacting a little?” I started to ask, my voice shaking.

He looked at me in silence for a while, so calm and serious I wanted to slap his face. _Say something, make a gesture_ , I wanted to say. _Maybe cry, so that I can understand you don’t want to leave me._

“I would like to think things over again,” he said, looking away from me.

“But... what will we become, then?”

“I thought you didn’t care for names.”

I sat on a bench. What the fuck, Zen?

“You need some space, I need to think. We could pause our relationship for some time and see what happens,” he continued, his face cold and expressionless.

“Maybe we should just be friends,” I said.

He startled for the first time.

“Yeah, maybe that’s right.”

“Fine.”

We stood there silent for a while, staring at the floor.

Zen said good bye to me, but I didn’t really hear it. Which of us had broken up with the other and screwed everything? Maybe me, I always mess things up. Or maybe it was him, who is always overreacting. Fuck.

I looked up the sky, holding back tears. Fuck.

I caressed the necklace Zen gave me that Christmas. I always wore it because I thought that if something brings good luck, his necklace most probably does. Would it still work now that we became just friends? Probably. I should still wear it just in case. And what about the matching bracelets? Well, I made them, so they actually were a present from me to me? Probably. I should still wear it, for I shouldn’t reject my own presents.

I chuckled. It’s absurd.

I started to feel the tears rolling down me cheeks. Fuck. At least I didn’t wear makeup, I’m ugly enough when I cry, I don’t need to look like a panda.

“Yuuki?” a familiar voice said behind me.

I turned and saw Jumin Han going out the expensive car I saw him get into once. He startled when he saw my ugly crying face.

“Jumin Han,” I smiled. “You have the worst of timings.”

He insisted on inviting me to his penthouse to calm down, since after uttering those cool words I started to cry as a freaking teenager in her period. He made some tea and made me some chocolate after we arrived. I had tried to explain everything on the car, but I think my language was not intelligible for normal people, so I explained it again.

“He’s such an idiot for breaking up with you,” he sighed. “I hope you don’t consider me rude if I remark his lost is bigger than yours.”

I nodded, holding my cup of tea.

“You’re right, he’s silly and ugly and silly.”

He chuckled.

“You said silly twice.”

“’Cause he’s double silly.”

I felt something soft and fluffy caressing my legs. I looked down and saw a beautiful white cat with light blue eyes, looking at me. That was the fur ball Jumin Han was caressing when we entered but I couldn’t see due to the tears and all that, I thought.

“Oh, my, it’s so cute.”

“Yuuki, let me introduce you to Elizabeth 3rd,” he said, taking her.

He was so formal I didn’t know if I should introduce myself to the cat.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Yuuki... the first?” I shook her pawn.

Jumin Han chuckled.

“The first?”

I blushed.

“I don’t know.”

He stood there, petting her.

“Can I take her?”

He looked at me.

“You can pet her head.”

Fair enough. She was so fluffy.

“I apologise if I didn’t introduce her before. Saeyoung is always messing with her, so I took her to a separate room where she could stay peaceful.”

“That’s why you disappeared some times?”

“Exactly.”

“Zen is allergic.”

“I know.”

I put violently some chocolate in my mouth.

“Damn Zen.”

“I must beg you not to swear in front of Elizabeth, she is very sensitive to those things.”

I stared at him.

“You’re weird.”

He frowned.

“I don’t think you can criticise me for that.”

I sighed.

“No, me neither.” 

I felt the tears going back to my eyes.

“I apologise if I offended you,” Jumin Han said, giving me a posh cloth tissue.

“You didn’t offend me,” I replied, looking at it, unsure whether I should spoil it with my commoner’s snots.

“Please, take it,” Jumin Han insisted.

I spoilt it with my commoner’s snots.

“Would you mind if I asked you for a favour?” Jumin Han suddenly asked.

“You gave me chocolate, you have my eternal gratitude.”

“I need... female advise.”

I looked at him.

“I hope I’ll be able to help you.”

“I actually have a... friend,” he hesitated with that last word, “I would like to gift with a small present, but it’s not her birthday, or any date in which people are supposed to give presents...”

“So you want to court her,” I laughed.

He blushed lightly.

“Okay, I think I can help,” I said. “But first of all, Jumin Han, I want you to take something into account.”

“Please,” he urged me.

“She won’t want an expensive present,” he looked at me, confused and expectant. “She would like a thoughtful present.”

“Could you clarify that last remark, please?”

“It should be something whose value is measured by its meaning, more than its price.”

“Could you exemplify it?”

I thought for a moment.

“Mmmmm... For example, I would appreciate much more a homemade cake than an expensive cake made by a chef because the person who made it put time and effort into it.”

“I think I understand,” Jumin Han concluded after thinking for a while. “Should I bake a cake, then?”

I chuckled.

“I don’t know, what does she like?”

“She likes cats.”

“What more?”

“Chocolate... mmm... I think she likes Russian language.”

“Russian?” I laughed.

He nodded.

“That’s a bit vague, but I’m sure we could think of something. When are you meeting her?”

“On Saturday.”

“We have plenty of time, then,” I smiled.

He thanked me over and over again for helping him and asked his driver to take me home. I chatted with him all the way home not to think about Zen. When I got home, I put on _Kill Bill_ not to think about Zen. Then, I watched the second part. Then _Pulp Fiction_. I didn’t sleep not to dream about Zen. Of course, I did all this thinking I shouldn’t think about him. It was a shitty night.

My sister called me the next day to ask me about my exams and I cried the shit out of me telling her about damn Zen.

“All men are the same, darling, the sooner you learn it, the better.”

“I hate him!” I cried. “I hate him because I love him!”

“I know, dear, love is the worst sickness. It will be healed with chocolate, time, and sex, so if you want to come with me to the party tonight, I can introduce you some nice guys.”

“I don’t want to.”

We talked some more time and hung up.

I met Jumin Han that afternoon. He invited me to a cafeteria where hot chocolate must be made of gold or something, for it was more expensive than my own soul. It was delicious, but still. He paid, thanks God, and I tried to enjoy it as much as I could to make it worth it, I’m so absurd.

“Do you like it?” Jumin Han asked.

“I’m trying to drink it as slowly as possible to make it last longer.”

“I could order another one if you wished so.”

I shook my head.

He told me more about her, and I found their story so cute. He didn’t talk much about his feelings, but they were so obvious I almost laughed. And I missed Zen. Damn Zen. Fuck him.

I came up with some ideas and he seemed to like it. We said goodbye and he looked excited. I was so glad to be of help.

I walked back home, I wanted to enjoy the fresh air. I ended up walking lost in my thoughts and found myself entering O’Brian’s.

“Clos’d!” the familiar voice said behind the bar.

“O’Brian, it’s me.”

“My gal,” he exclaimed, happy, “yah don’ come with da ol’ folk today?”

I shook my head, looking down. He gave me a grave and understanding look.

“Wanna caik?”

He gave me my favourite chocolate cake and talked to me about his clients and business. It was the first time the old man talked about him, and I found it really nice. Apparently, his mother was Scottish and his father Irish and on top of all that, he had lived some time in London, which explained his strange mixture of accents, it was so nice. He told me some interesting stories of the Celtic folklore and his childhood, intertwining them and I couldn’t distinguish what was real and what a myth, so I chose to believe in everything. I hoped Zen and I could have talked more openly about us. Why did it have to be so difficult? Maybe I would have understood him more if he had told me more about his past, the same for me. Damn Zen. Damn me.

I kissed O’Brian’s cheek.

“Thank you.”

He laughed and asked me to come back.

I took the bus home.

I cried on the sofa. I cried on the bed.

I put Zen’s poster in my wardrobe, but I didn’t take off the necklace nor the bracelet. I’m silly.

The week passed and I focused again on the semester. I asked Jumin Han about his date, and apparently it had been a great success, I was so glad.

“I would like to thank you properly.”

“There’s no need,” I replied, cooking pancakes. “I also needed to put my mind on something else.”

“I would like to invite you to some cake.”

Who can say no to cake?

A car picked me up and took me to an expensive cafeteria. Jumin Han was already waiting for me and had ordered cake and hot chocolate, for he already knew I felt uncomfortable when I saw the prices.

“I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

Kill me if I didn’t.

I realised I had only been eating chocolate since Zen and I broke up. Damn it. I don’t need health if I have happiness.

Jumin Han’s phone rang.

“Please, excuse me, Yuuki,” he apologised, going out to attend the call.

I took my cell phone and logged into Twitter. That’s when I saw it.

_Have you heard the rumours that Zen is with that new artist who is playing the role of his girlfriend in the musical._

_No way._

_Look at the photo they took them the other day._

It was not a good photo, but I could see Zen leaning towards a girl, as if to kiss her, his hand on her cheek.

_Didn’t he have a girlfriend?_

_He must have broken up with her, she didn’t look elegant at all._

_And he didn’t talk about her in his interviews._

_She must have been embarrassing._

_Lololol_

I didn’t care about Zen, it was I that suggested we should be friends. I also didn’t care about insults. Right? I have confidence in me, as the song says.

“Yuuki, can I take you som... Yuuki?” Jumin Han asked, worried.

I realised I was crying, still looking at my phone. He took it from me and read it, apparently caring little about my privacy. He sighed.

“Let’s go.”

He took me by the arm while silent tears still rolled down my cheeks. Did I mean so little to him to forget me in a week? What the fuck, Zen? I shouldn’t believe rumours, I told myself. But, what’s the difference? It doesn’t matter if he has a new girlfriend or not, I am not his girlfriend anyway. Fuck me.

Jumin Han got me into his car and took me to a park in which I had never been before.

“Jumin Han, why did you take me here?” I asked.

“I want an idiot to see you now,” he replied.

“I don’t think I want to see anybody now. Less so if they’re idiot,” I said.

He looked at me. It was clear he didn’t know what to do with messy and crying me. He gave me one of his posh tissues and I remembered I never washed his. I’m so thoughtless. I’m so silly and thoughtless. I embraced Jumin Han.

“I’m so silly and thoughtless I can imagine why Zen doesn’t love me!” I somehow uttered between tears and sobs.

Jumin Han petted my head, confused.

“I am spoiling your clothes, I’m sure. I’m sorry,” I cried louder.

“You’ve finally arrived,” Jumin Han said to someone.

I broke the embrace and looked to the person Jumin Han was talking to. I should have guessed it. It was Zen. He was staring at us, surprised and nervous. I noticed he had dark circles, contrasting with his skin, which was paler that usual and his eyes were swollen and red. I dried my tears, lifting my glasses, and put them in his place again to look at Zen.

“Lo-long time no see,” I uttered.

He nodded. I wanted to look to the floor, but I couldn’t stop staring at him.

“Were you making her cry?” Zen asked Jumin Han, hatred filling his look.

“It should be her who answers that question,” he answered.

Zen walked closer to him, threatening.

“Don’t make her cry.”

I didn’t understand shit, but I couldn’t talk neither, so I stood there, dumb.

“Why do you care if she cries, or why does she cry?” Jumin Han said with an arrogant look. Zen looked away from him, angry. “Why did you even call to ask me if the rumours were true?”

“Tsk... You’re a jerk.”

Rumours? What the fuck? Zen’s asking Jumin Han if the rumours about himself are true? What the fuck?

“Rumours?” I asked.

Zen looked at me, his look softening. Jumin Han gave me his phone. The screen showed a newspaper: Jumin Han, finally dating someone?

I was a shitty piece of news in which they wondered if Jumin Han was dating someone because they were seen a couple of times together. I looked at the photo. That was my average sweater. Fuck.

I looked at Zen.

“That’s not true, I was helping Jumin Han with his actual date! Fuck,” I covered my mouth with my hands and looked at him. Was that supposed to be a secret?

“Never mind,” Jumin Han sighed.

I looked back at Zen. He was staring at me, surprised.

“Well, I guess you don’t actually mind? Why did I give you an explanation? I mean, now that you are seeing someone and all that. Why do I say it? Fuck me. Aaaaaagh,” I was talking really fast. I was a fucking mess. “Somebody kill me,” I whispered.

“What do you mean seeing someone?” Zen asked.

I looked at him and started to cry.

“Gaaah, Yuuki, please, don’t cry,” Zen asked, worried, his voice trembling. “Why don’t we talk about all this?”

He put his hands on my shoulders, repented from it, put them again, repented, and looked at me, confused. Neither of us realised Jumin Han had left by then.

“Yuuki, please,” he insisted.

I looked up at him. He was crying. Fuck the rumours, fuck our rupture. I embraced him, looked for his mouth, found it looking for mine. We kissed deeply, wetting our cheeks with each other’s tears.

He took me to his place. He made some tea and sat next to me on the sofa. We both hated the distance between us, but even though we had already kissed and hug in the park, we were not sure whether we could cuddle on the sofa while talking.

“I love you,” I said.

Zen almost dropped his tea. He started to cry again.

“I love you too.”

“Can we go back to what we were?” I asked, getting closer to him.

He embraced me and buried his face between my neck and my shoulder.

“Please.”

I sighed, crying a little, I must confess. I broke the embrace.

“Zen, I want to tell you about the time I dated Freddie,” I said. He nodded, surprised. “I was fifteen. My sister brought him home once with the rest of her friends, but I was so impressed at him. He had a motorbike and looked as an attractive bad-ass, so I fell for him, silly me. We started dating and he started to pressure me to get thinner and let him touch me more, and all those silly things. He also wanted me to stick to him as a puppy. I ignored all those things and did as I pleased, of course. At the end I broke up with him, for I was tired of his shit, he was an asshole even back then,” I sighed. “I didn’t want to tell you because it’s really embarrassing, okay? I always say I don’t care about looks and I feel for an idiot because he had a motorbike.”

Zen looked at me, serious.

“I’m sorry I pressured you.”

I sighed.

“I guess I did felt a bit of pressure from you? But not like Freddie. I mean, you respect my decisions, my privacy, and all that, but you wanted to go maybe a bit faster than I, so...”

“I understand,” he took my hand. “I want you to understand something too.”

I nodded.

“Yuuki, when did you realise you liked me?”

I thought about it for a while.

“Maybe... when you sang to me for the first time at O’Brian’s? But I couldn’t separate my feelings as a fan from my feelings as a person who was close to you, so all was confusing. So, I guess... maybe it was when my sister took me to your concert, actually, when I saw it clearer.”

“I liked you from the very beginning,” I startled. “I liked you from the moment you entered my house and brightened my dark afternoon with your happiness,” he blushed, “I guess... it was love at first sight?”

I blushed.

“I tried to kiss you once, but you put my helmet between us,” he laughed, shyly. “Then I thought you were trying to pull me away because you didn’t like me. Later, I realised you’re just clumsy,” I frowned, blushing. “Don’t make that face,” he laughed. “When I got to kiss you,” he continued, “I was so happy I thought I could die. I actually think I died a little when you pulled me back to kiss me more,” he laughed. “I also... I also felt a bit anxious that you would go away from my side... you know I tend to overreact,” I nodded. I knew. “So I felt I needed to make sure all the time you loved me and wanted to be by my side as much as I did... as I do.”

I blushed.

“I guess I’m not good at showing or speaking.”

“I know, and I know you told me you weren’t good with words, so I was waiting you to show me, but when you told me you didn’t want to see me the other day... I guess I overreacted again?” his voice trembled again.

“Next time, tell me,” I said, embracing him. He nodded, returning the embrace. “I can put an effort in telling you I love you, and you can make an effort in calming down? We don’t need to be silly all the time,” I laughed.

He laughed.

“Okay.”

“And I’m bad with words, so be patient.”

He nodded.

“And I want to know more about you, about those things your fans don’t know about.”

He nodded again, smiling.

“And I’ll tell you everything about me too.”

“Yuuki, can we kiss now?” he laughed.

I almost threw him down the sofa when I jumped on him to kiss him, embracing his waist with my legs, looking so desperate for his tongue with mine. I bit his lower lip with strength, making him moan, feeling the beast was awakening. I took off his t-shirt, urgently, biting his neck, making him groan louder.

“Let’s go to my room,” he got to utter panting.

“I can’t wait.”

He pushed me to the other side of the sofa, making me lay on it, my legs opened for him. He unbuttoned my jeans and took them off taking my underwear with them. He introduced two fingers in me, making me moan and tremble at the unexpected contact. He kissed me while drawing circles in my bare skin with his thumb. He grabbed one of my breasts with his free hand and bit my neck, sucking, which would probably leave a mark, but I didn’t mind, I could only moan and desire for more, he was driving me so crazy. He licked my neck and bit my ear, only to go suddenly down and kiss my inner thighs, licking them until he got to my crotch. He retired his hand, leaving me with an empty feeling, moaning in complaint, and looked at me, licking his wet fingers.

“Zen...” I whispered.

I was going to ask him for more when he kissed me next to my crotch, teasing me.

“Zen, please...”

He groaned, excited with my need, and licked my crotch with the tip of his tongue, making me moan loudly.

“More,” I moaned, grabbing his hair.

He complied. He started to lick me harder, sucking, getting his fingers inside of me once again, making me tremble and moan. I embraced his head with my legs while I came, screaming his name.

He sat on the sofa, looking at me, still trembling, cleaning his mouth with his fingers and licking them, and image with could make me turn on again.

“You came so soon,” he laughed.

I blushed. He took me on his arms to his bed and started kissing me deeply. I felt his hard crotch and took off his trousers and pants. He sat on the bed and I started to touch him, while biting his neck, making him moan, and feeling how I started to get wet again. I took Zen’s hand and brought it to my crotch for him to notice. He moaned my name.

He took off my jumper and t-shirt and I helped him with my bra. He started biting one of my nipples, sucking it, which made me moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure. With my free hand I opened the first drawer of his bedside table and took a condom. I put it on and rub his crotch against mine, teasing him. I finally sat on his lap, filling my inside completely with him, making us moan louder. I embraced him with my legs and arms and he put his hands in my waist, moving me up and down fast and hardly. I grabbed his hair, tightening around him and moaned his name.

“Fuck, Yuuki, it feels too good.”

Zen started trembling and moving faster while I came again, coming little afterwards.

We lied on the bed, hugging, still panting.

“I missed this too,” I said.

Zen laughed.

“Me too.”

I rubbed my face against his chest.

“Don’t leave me again,” I asked.

“I thought you left me.”

I frowned.

“I don’t know, just don’t do it.”

Zen hugged me tighter.

“I won’t, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked the chapter.
> 
> About Jumin's date... have you read Firei's Does this Fic is Fluffly? I based his date on her OC, Narumi!! If you haven't read it, you should, it's fantastic! (If you're reading this, hun, ILY <3)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	15. Happy Birthday to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki had forgotten about her birthday, but fortunatelly enough, her sister calls her to congratulate her. Then it's when she realises she hadn't told Zen about it.

“Happy biiiirthdaaaay too youuuuuu!!!” my sister sang at the other side of the phone.

What the fuck? I looked at my calendar. She was surprisingly right: it was my birthday.

“Thaaaanks,” I replied.

“So dry,” she complained, playfully.

“I’ve just woken up.”

I’m so bad at remembering dates I even forgot my damn birthday. I should be hung or something. And then I remembered there’s another thing I forgot about my birthday.

“Oh, fuck!” I exclaimed.

“What’s up, darling?”

“I forgot to tell Zen today is my birthday.”

“And?”

“You know, he’s that kind of person who likes to celebrate everything and give presents and all that romantic stuff. He’ll get mad at me when he discovers it’s my birthday and I didn’t tell him in advance.”

“Well, but that’s more to your own annoyance, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re the one who’s not going to have his present and who’s not going to be taken on a date, am I right?”

Oh, that was kind of right. So that’s why I was annoyed with myself.

“Fuck, you’re right. Silly me.”

“Yeah, silly you. Well, you still have some time to tell him before the day finishes.”

She was right. She was being more helpful than usual!

“You are right.”

I hung up after talking to my parents and called Zen.

“Hi, my princess. How’re you calling so soon?” he asked, asleep.

“I... mmmm...” I hesitated.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I like hearing you the first thing in the morning.”

“Do you want to go on a date after my classes?” I asked, shyly.

Shit. It was the first time I asked him on a date and I could feel his excitement at the other side of the phone.

“I had some plans, but I can cancel them. Of course I’ll go! I should be mad to say no to my princess.”

“If you’re busy, we can...”

“I’m not. I’ll pick you up and take you somewhere nice,” I was about to explain it was my birthday when he continued. “I have busy the full morning, but I swear I’ll be there in the afternoon.”

That means he wouldn’t have time to buy a birthday present. I decided to shut the fuck up and have a normal date.

“Is there anywhere you’d like to go?”

“I’ll leave that to you,” not organising the date: best birthday present ever.

“Nice, it’ll be a surprise then. See you later, babe.”

“See you...” I hesitated. He didn’t hang up, waiting for me to finish my clearly unfinished sentence. “See you, lovely Zen.”

I swear I heard his heart jumping out of his chest. I was redder than the strawberry of the Christmas cake my mother had made us.

“Gaaaaah! Don’t do that without warning! You’re going to kill me. Eeeeh, mmmm... so lovely? Aaaah!”

“Don’t tease me, it’s embarrassing!” I exclaimed.

“You’re the one teasing me!”

“I’m not, I really mean it.”

“Ugh, Yuuki, I’ll have to go or I’ll end up skipping rehearsals and going to you. I love you, princess.”

“I love you.”

He hung up. I was melting.

He is romantic with no incentives, so I thought that if he had known it was my birthday, he would have given me a special treatment, being more romantic and gentle, that’s why I had decided to act more romantically than normally for him to do so. It made sense in my mind, alright? I am too silly and complicated, but, please, cope with me.

He picked me up after my classes. As I expected, a group of fans stalked him at the door.

“Yuuki!” he yelled when he saw me.

All the fans looked at me, hatred in their eyes.

“Hi, Zen,” I replied, uncomfortable.

“You know her?” one of them asked.

He obviously did, dear, I rolled my eyes.

“She is my girlfriend,” he smiled.

Did he want people to bully me forever? They looked at me surprised.

“But she is kind of...”

“Zen, let’s go,” I urged him before he got mad at a fan.

We went away on his motorbike.

I didn’t know where he was taking me, but I decided to just enjoy the ride and let myself be taken to whatever place he wanted to instead of asking like crazy. Finally, we arrived to a lost spot. It was in the middle of a small forest and there was a viewpoint from where you could see the entire city. The sky opened before us, and it was starting to get dark, so we could see the sunset from there.

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

Zen embraced me from behind.

“I’ve wanted to show you this for a long time. It is my favourite and secret place. I come here when I’m stressed or worried.”

“I’m not surprised, it certainly makes you feel at ease. Thank you for taking me,” I kissed him.

He smiled, caressing my hair.

“Zen, hmmm...”

“Yes?” he asked, surprised at my hesitation.

“Actually... today’s my birthday.”

As I supposed, he froze and became pale.

“Is it?” he got to utter.

“I completely forgot about it, I’m sorry,” I said.

“No! I am the one who’s sorry!” he exclaimed. “I’m sure you know when my birthday is!”

“Of course, since I’m also your faaaan,” I replied.

“Well, I... I am your fan,” he blushed.

I chuckled.

“My fan?”

“Don’t laugh, I’m serious,” he complained, becoming redder.

“Why would you be my fan?”

“Because you’re strong and awesome, and clever... I admire you, I really do!”

That was my turn to blush. I hid my face behind my hands.

“I’m normal.”

He embraced me.

“You’re not. Anyway, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know it was your birthday. Let’s go somewhere nice, somewhere you want to be, or I’ll buy you something you like, okay?”

“I like this place, since it’s really personal and my best gift is to get to know something new about you,” I replied, shyly.

He startled.

“You’re going to kill me today.”

We kissed. It was a deep, needy kiss.

“You really drive me crazy,” he said, a serious look in his eyes, painted in passion.

I moaned, kissing him again.

“We could go to your house and make love all night,” I whispered.

He shivered.

“Agreed.”

The drive didn’t cool us. We arrived to his apartment and made love on the floor of the hall, at the sofa, the bed, and had a shower together, and we kept on teasing each other and kissing until my stomach complained. Zen laughed.

“Let’s take you somewhere nice,” he grinned, suddenly. “I actually have a nice idea.”

He talked to a few people on his phone and smiled at me.

“Let’s go, princess.”

I complied, without asking any questions, though I was dying to know.

We arrived to O’Brian’s. Yes, I would get to eat O’Brian’s cake for my birthday. It was splendid.

I couldn’t hear the usual noise there is at this time when O’Brian’s pub is open. We got inside and I noticed there were a few people in it. Wait. I knew them. They were all... actors? And famous actors. Oh, my God. I was dying. Actually, I said that out loud, making everyone laugh.

“I couldn’t summon everyone since I didn’t have enough time.”

Oh

My

God

The fangirl inside of me was dying, really.

“I’m dying,” fangirl me said.

He introduced me to everybody.

We had a lovely, too lovely evening. I could get to talk to all actors, messing it a little sometimes, of course, it’s in my nature, sang some songs at the piano, and, yes, I got to eat O’Brian’s cake.

“Da ol’ folk don’t get ‘is eyes outta yah,” he whispered to me when the actress of the rumours was talking to him.

He didn’t need to tell me. I knew. But still, it made me smile.

Zen asked me to sing with him and I felt like dying, but I complied. I was having a great time and didn’t want to spoil Zen’s mood.

We came back to Zen’s home rather latish. I had lessons the next morning, but I didn’t mind.

“It was my best birthday ever,” I told him.

“I’m glad you liked it. Still,” he said, hugging me, “I didn’t like the way you flirted with Lewis.”

“It wasn’t I, it was the fangirl inside of me,” I replied.

“I don’t like that either, she should like me more,” he frowned.

“Who’s said she doesn’t?”

“She hasn’t shown it,” he complained and pouted, playfully.

“She has, but you’re too blind,” I touched the tip of his nose.

He grinned.

“I’m not. I’d be happier if she liked me more.”

“She adores you,” I replied, going out of the living-room.

He gasped.

“You’re dangerous,” he smiled, mischievously.

“Am I?” I grinned. “I think _you_ are.”

“Why?”

He came closer to me and I took off his ponytail.

“You’re too hot.”

He licked his lower lip.

“So how would you react if I kissed you deeply, putting you hard against the wall?” he asked.

“Are you going to free the beast inside of me?” I said, kneeling, unbuttoning his trousers.

Apparently, it was I who got to unleash the beast first, for he did as he said, taking me latter to his bedroom. That was a sleepless night.


	16. Performance!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki goes to watch Zen's new performance.

I opened the door and saw Zen standing at the other side with a bouquet of white roses in his hand. Wait. Is that Zen? Where is his ponytail? WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS PONYTAIL? Of course, I said that out loud. His hair now didn’t fall down his whole back, but a bit under his shoulders.

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, OH MY GOD.”

“Like it?” he said, rubbing his neck, smiling shyly.

“I don’t know. As your fan, I’m shocked.”

“Try to think as my girlfriend.”

I tried to.

“As your girlfriend, I’m shocked.”

He laughed, a bit worried.

“As a human being with criteria, I must say you look beautiful, though. Still, it’s hard to think a do which would make you ugly. I think you would be beautiful even bald.”

He blushed deeply and kissed me.

“You’re cute.”

He sat on the couch and I put the flowers in water. I had my apartment full of flowers by then, for he’d been trying to compensate me for not knowing about my birthday even though I repeated hundreds of time it was alright.

“Tonight is the performance. You ready?” I asked.

He was performing for the first time his new play, and I had VIP tickets for the release, the ones he gave to me as a Christmas present.

“I feel quite confident about this play since you chose it,” he replied.

“I only gave you some advice,” I said, faking humility. Of course it was going to be great since I chose it. No one knows Zenny like I do.

He laughed, reading my look.

He went away early to rehearse one more time and to get ready for the performance. I got ready for it too. He told me I would be able to visit the dressing rooms after the play, so I was nervous and excited even though I already knew most of the actors from my birthday.

I went to the theatre a bit earlier. The VIP seats where Heaven. I could see the stage perfectly and there were famous people around me, I felt as if I were a famous critic already. Nevertheless, when the performance started I could only focus on it. It was splendid, just as I imagined. I couldn’t help writing some notes in the leaflet, as I usually do in the theatre, writing down things I like and dislike and small details that enrich the play.

I went to the dressing rooms right away to congratulate Zen, he’d been splendid. On my way there I found Lewis, the other actor who had a leading role.

“Yuuki, babe, how are you?”

“Fine, where is Zen?”

“He’s dressing, why don’t you wait for him here?” he asked, offering me a seat in the corridor.

“Okay. By the way, congratulations! It was gorgeous.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“How couldn’t I? I think you made the role be more impressive than in the previous performances. I like the way you portray the character, you gave him a new point of view I thought was really interesting. Besides, the last song was just delightful since...”

“Yuuki, honey, I appreciate your feedback, but I’m a bit tired.”

“Ooops,” I said, covering my mouth with my hands.

“Still, thank you,” he laughed.

I smiled.

“What are your plans now?” he asked, passing his arm through my shoulders.

“I think I’m going home with Zen, he must be tired.”

He laughed.

“Why don’t you come with me instead? I know a place where we could have some fun.”

Ugh, that was uncomfortable.

“This is uncomfortable,” I said, moving away from him.

He laughed.

“I like honest girls, and the fact that you’re dating Zen makes you more desirable,” he said, leaning towards me.

“Back up, you asshole,” I said, putting my bag on his face, he was trying to kiss me.

He laughed.

“Come on, it will be fun,” he insisted in a playful tone. “Why don’t you come with me? I’m a star, baby, more famous than him I would say.”

“How would a star satisfy me when I can have the whole sky?” I replied. Wow. That was cool. Embarrassing, but cool.

“Move away from her, you jerk.”

Zen was next to us, blushing and angry. He had heard it. I was going to die. He took me to his dressing room.

“Zen, congratulations! You were perfect.”

He smiled.

“Thank you. Just don’t talk to that asshole again,” he said, getting angry again.

“It’s okay, Zenny,” I replied, playful. “I only like you,” I kissed his cheek.

“You were praising him a lot,” he complained, annoyed.

“Because he did really well.”

“Who did better, he or I?”

I thought about it.

“It’s difficult to say. You performed your character from the usual point of view, and I appreciate his originality. Still, your singing is better,” he was annoyed. So fucking annoyed.

“So you like him better.”

“Mmmm... From a critical point of view, I guess?” Oh, now he was angry. Angry as fuck. “Zen, come on! I’m not saying you were not good! You were splendid, almost perfect!”

“You told me I was perfect before,” he crossed his arms on his chest.

“Zen, please. Gosh. Just, don’t get angry. I would change all of Lewis performances in the world for one of your songs, I swear. I like you more than him, it’s only in this performance that I found him... outstanding. But you have still a long way to go through and I’m sure you’ll surpass him if you haven’t done it already.”

He looked less angry.

“You love me, right?”

“Of course I do, that has nothing to do with critic me.”

“You have too many sides,” he sighed. I frowned. “Still, I like them all.”

I blushed, pissed off. He finally smiled.

“And how does fangirl you feels right now?” he grinned.

“You don’t want to know. She just wants to go all over your dressing room stealing and smelling things.”

“Smelling?” he laughed.

“I told you, fans are kind of legal stalkers, it’s terrifying.”

“Does she want to steal my underwear?” he laughed.

“Of course she does. Eh? Wait, what? Gosh,” I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed. “Don’t tease me.”

He laughed.

“How would fangirl you feel if I teased her in a much funnier way?” he asked, playfully.

He kissed me hard, putting me against the mirror, throwing all his cosmetics to the floor to sit me on the table. Yes, we did end up having sex all over his dressing room. Literally, all over. The rest of the cast would tease him about it forever, since I’m not really good at being quiet, which he doesn’t mind, but rather likes it and joins me in my loud moans and panting.

Zen insisted on inviting me to have some dinner out. I tried to refuse since he really looked tired and had to perform again the next day, but he insisted so much I had to comply. We went on our way to a bar near the theatre when a dark haired tall man stopped us.

“Hyung?” he asked.

Zen startled. His look changed from surprised to suspicious in a second.

“What do you want?”

“Hyung, you didn’t call us back in Christmas?”

I looked at Zen. Who was this guy?

“Is she your girlfriend?” he asked, looking at me. “I heard you had a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t know you were into gossip,” he replied, dry.

“We worry about you, Hyung.”

“Yah, sure. Yuuki, let’s go.”

We walked away. I turned around and saw the man looking at us, a concerned look reflected in his eyes.

“Who’s that guy?” I asked.

He sighed.

“My brother.”

“I see...”

I stood silent, thoughtful.

“I don’t feel like going out anymore. Shall we go home?” he suddenly said.

“Sure,” I replied, startled.

I chose not to talk about it until he wanted to.

We were about to get on the motorbike when a horde of journalists appeared in front of us. Zen smiled and answered questions while I tried to stay behind, being unnoticed.

“Are you Zen’s girlfriend?” one asked me.

“I am.”

“Oooh! We finally got to meet you! Tell me, how did you meet?”

“Mmmm... I was...” I started to answer when Zen cut me.

“We met by chance on the street,” he’s a hero, I thought. “And I asked her her phone number right away.”

“Oh, so it was love at first sight?” another one asked.

“It was, for both of us,” he remarked. Liar.

“That’s sooooo romantic,” the first one exclaimed.

By then, I really wanted to leave.

“Can we take a picture of you two?”

“Sure,” Zen said, taking me by the shoulders and smiling.

“I would like to remain anonymous!” I tried to exclaim, but they were already taking pictures of us.

I put my hands in front of my eyes, the flashes were so shiny. I don’t usually care about crowds, but it was the first time they were focusing on me, and that was stressing. I was starting to feel sick.

“Are you thinking about getting married?” one asked.

“Well...” Zen started answering.

“It’s too soon!” I yelled.

I clung to Zen’s coat and he finally noticed I was not feeling well.

“We have to go home, right, Yuuki?”

“You live together?”

“Please, we are tired,” he insisted.

They finally gave in, more or less, and we could get on the motorbike and drive away.

I was still shaking when we got to Zen’s basement. He sat me on the sofa and made me some hot chocolate. He always had some chocolate since we started dating, though if we kept on following my diet and his, we’d end up dying of malnutrition.

He gave me the mug and disappeared in his room. I heard him making some calls, making sure my face is not shown in the magazines when they publish the article. He made some dinner afterwards. I could sense his bad mood from the living-room.

“Need some help?” I asked from the door.

“Just sit on the sofa,” he answered, dry.

“I can take the plates with me if you want to.”

“No, just stay there and don’t move. Gosh, I have a headache.”

I got him some pills.

“I don’t like taking those things, it’ll go away by itself. Now, go back to the living room.”

“Zen, I understand you’re pissed off, but...”

“No, you don’t, or you would have left me alone.”

I threw the fucking pills at him. Damn Zen.

“Okay, I’m leaving.”

“Yuuki, I didn’t mean that.”

I went to the living room to take my bag and coat, but he stopped me.

“I’m sorry. Come here,” he hugged me. “Can you help me make some dinner?”

“Want to order a pizza?” I said after thinking for a while.

“Clever girl.”

We did so and had a long cuddle session on the sofa while we waited to our ambrosia to arrive.

“I’m sorry about the journalists,” he said. “They’re always like that, they won’t let you breathe.”

“It’s okay, I just have to get used to them,” I replied.

He sighed.

“I wished you didn’t have to.”

“It’s their job, it’s normal.”

He smiled.

“You’re amazing.”

I sighed.

“I’m not. Just don’t get mad at me if I cannot stand the pressure.”

“I wasn’t ad at you, I was mad at them, at my brother, at Lewis... Shit, now I’m mad again.”

I didn’t like that Zen was annoyed, but I must admit I was relieved when I heard he wasn’t mad at me. For a moment I thought I might have screwed it with the journalists when I said it was too soon to talk about a wedding, which it is, or that maybe I had been too dry or something. I don’t want to put at risk his career.

“Poor Zenny, people are bad with him,” I pouted childishly, kissing the tip of his nose. “But I’m happy you’re not mad at me.”

He chuckled.

“Silly girl.”

“Am I a good girl?” I asked, playfully.

“You are.”

“Yey! Zenny has praised me.”

“Stop that, it’s not like you!” he complained, laughing.

“Is it not like me to tease you?”

He put his finger on my nose, pulling it up so that it looked like a piglet’s noise. I tried to lick it, but he escaped. We laughed.

The pizzas finally arrived and we ate them quickly, we were so hungry. We cuddled on the coach to watch a movie, but Zen fell asleep right away. I smiled. He had done a good job. I tried to wake him up and he went to bed, half-asleep and we fell asleep together.

“So you didn’t call your family for Christmas?” I asked the next day.

Maybe it was not the best topic for a conversation during breakfast, and I know I said I would give him some time, but I did want to talk about it before more time passed and I forgot, which is so like me.

He frowned.

“Do we need to talk about it?”

“I... would like to? I want to know about your situation with your family, that’s all.”

He sighed.

“We stopped talking after I went away from home. Nevertheless, last year I started receiving calls from them for my birthday, Christmas, New Year and all that. Gosh, it’s annoying. They’ve never given a damn about me before, why now?”

“Maybe they did care for you, in their own way.”

“Well, it didn’t look like that.”

“Don’t you want to settle things with them?”

“There’s nothing to settle.”

“Well, if you think so.”

He kept silent for a while, thoughtful.

“Why would I want to do it? Why would I want to get in touch with them again?”

“Because they’re your family.”

“They’ve never behaved like that.”

“I said it because you’re not going to feel bad if you forgive them. You may even feel good with yourself.”

He looked at me.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I’m sorry if I was too nosy.”

“It’s okay, I know you worry about me. I like that,” he smiled.

I smiled too.

“But let’s not talk about it again.”

“Agreed,” I concluded.

Nevertheless, he would bring up the topic two days later.


	17. New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki and Zen celebrate the New Year with the RFA.
> 
> Anna and Saeran also so ust so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been some time! Sorry for stopping uploading chapters, I was on a holiday trip and before that I was somehow uninspired. I'll go back to uploading more frequently now that I'm back!
> 
> Here I leave you with a special chapter with two parts, one about Yuuki and Zen and the other about Saeran and Anna. As always, you can read both or just one!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

The RFA was holding a private party for the members to celebrate New Year and I was invited. Yay! My sister wanted to lend me a dress, but it wouldn’t fit me and I didn’t want to risk my integrity spoiling it, so we had to go and buy another. It was cute, dark purple and long and it didn’t make me look like an old lady, for which I was thankful. 

It was the first time I was not going to have a New Years dinner with my family and didn’t wait until midnight arrived with them, so I was kind of nervous, but I really wanted to spend it with Zen and the RFA.

By the way, I have friends, I swear. I never mention them because I see them at Uni, but I’m not alone in this world. I swear.

Zen picked me up and praised my dress, my hair, my makeup and all me until his mouth got dry or something, he’s so cute. We got to Jumin Han’s penthouse, where the party would be held. Jaehee and MC, Zen had made sure I knew the member’s name for the event, had already arrived. I had decided I would make friends with Jaehee, even if she didn’t want to. I was going to be so damn adorable she would yield to my undeniable charms.

“Welcome, Yuuki, it’s a pleasure to see you, as always,” Jumin Han said, kissing my hand.

“Thank you, Jumin Han.”

“Welcome, Zen.”

“Don’t kiss her hand, you jerk.”

“I was being a gentleman.”

I had already approached Jaehee by then and was greeting her enthusiastically. She stared at me with a strange look.

“Hi, Jaehee, how are you? You look so pretty in that dress! Are you letting your hair grow longer? I think it’s longer.”

“I cut it yesterday,” she replied.

“Eh? Oh... Mmm... it suits you.”

“Jaehee, I also think you’re beautiful in that dress!!” MC exclaimed.

“Thank you, MC,” she replied.

I had calculated she would have yielded to my charms by then. Fuck.

“By the way, Yuuki, you don’t have to worry anymore about the rumours of you and Mr Han, we’ve fixed the misunderstanding. But, please, make sure you’re careful now onwards.”

Fuck.

“Jaehee, don’t be so harsh at her,” MC said.

“And make sure you don’t give any problems to Zen, since you’re dating him.”

I was dying. I looked at Zen. He seemed annoyed, probably because Jaehee mentioned the rumours. Damn Jaehee. Finally, the sae-twins and Yoosung arrived. Zen had asked me not to call them ‘sae-twins,’ so I only said it in my mind.

“Oh, the sae-twins!” fuck.

The funny one laughed.

“Sae-twins, that’s so cuuuuuuute!” he exclaimed, hugging his brother.

Zen face-palmed.

“It’s not. Go away,” the tsundere brother said.

“Nice to see you again, Yuuki,” Yoosung said.

They started talking about the dinner. Zen was complaining about everything, of course. I tasted the wine and liked it, which made Jumin proud while Zen swore me beer was much better.

“I’ll try it, I promise,” I said.

“I prefer coffee,” Jaehee suddenly said.

“Lololol, Jaehee, that’s not a drink you’ll have while eating,” Saeyoung said.

“Don’t underestimate my need for caffeine.”

“I like coffee too,” I exclaimed.

She smiled. Yay! I got it. We started to talk about coffee, she was quite an expert. Apparently she was leading a too stressful life and I scolded Jumin Han about it. He looked pissed off, which make Zen happy. Everybody happy. Well, except for Jumin Han.

“Jumin, where’s your cat?” I whispered.

That made him happy.

“I can show her to you if you come to my room quietly, I don’t want Saeyoung to find her.”

Thumb up for Jumin Han. I caressed her a little and we went back to the living-room.

“Where were you?” Zen asked me, giving Jumin Han a suspicious look. He sneezed. “You weren’t with...”

“Well... I like animals,” I apologised.

I knew he wanted to kill me.

“Sorry, is your allergy so bad?” I asked.

“It is! You could have gone through the evening without seeing her!”

“Sorry, babe.”

I tried to kiss him, but he sneezed again.

“It’s painful not to kiss you!” he complained.

I washed my hands and Jaehee helped me rolling off the fur while Saeyoung complained because he wanted to see Elly too.

It was a fun dinner. Zen’s mood was better than usual and Jaehee and I contributed to keep it that way. She finally seemed to like me, I was so happy. Nevertheless, something happened.

Too

Much

Wine

It was my first time drinking and I didn’t know how sick it could make me. Well, not sick, but... funnier? There was not much difference, really, I always talk as if I were drunk, but my laugh became louder and I started to try to reach Zen’s crotch under the table, he wanted to kill me. He was having fun with drunk me except for when I tried to rape him in the middle of the party.

“Zenny, they’re not looking,” I whispered in his ear.

“Yuuki, are you mad?”

“I’m crazy for you, oppa!”

He hid in the bathroom for some time while Saeyoung distracted me with something silly... until he realised his boyfriend was drunk too.

“Saeyoung, thank you for everything!” he exclaimed, crying. “I’m so happy.”

I started crying too.

“You two are the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen!” I exclaimed, secretly comparing them with my sister’s relationships.

Yoosung hugged me, crying louder.

“Zen and you are so beautiful too!”

We cried like babies. Oh, my God. Jumin Han was grinning at our direction when Zen went out of the toilet.

“Don’t laugh at my girlfriend, you jerk!”

“Do something with your boyfriend!” Saeran exclaimed to Saeyoung.

“They’re cute!!” he laughed.

“Jaehee, no one’s saying we’re beautiful!” MC complained.

“I don’t need a couple of drunks to tell us we’re beautiful,” she whispered.

“MC, you two are also beautiful!” I exclaimed.

Yoosung was still crying, hugging now his boyfriend.

I resumed my attack on Zen when MC exclaimed.

“Guys, it’s almost midnight!”

The countdown started. Everybody was looking at the screen, attentively, but I was looking at Zen. He was smiling slightly, his eyes shining and his cheeks blushing. He was going to kiss me, I knew it, and that make it all exciting. I know, we had kissed hundreds of times, but it was exciting to think my first kiss this year was going to be with him, that we were going to spend a new year together. I put a hand on his cheek and made him look at me. It was not midnight yet, but I kissed him and we didn’t break the kiss until everybody else applauded the New Year.

 

***  
   
Saeran was checking his phone at the shop he was working in when a familiar voice talked to him.

“You should greet the customers,” Anna said.

He looked at her, surprised.

“What are you doing here?”

“Eh? What kind of greeting is that?” she complained, pouting. “I came to visit you, of course.”

“Sae!” a feminine voice exclaimed. A girl entered from the store. “Sae, babe, I told you to be nicer with customers, not everybody will like you just for your pretty face. Can I help you, darling?” she said to Anna.

‘Sae?’ Anna thought. Who the heck was her?

“No, thank you,” she replied, smiling. “I just came to visit,” she embraced Saeran’s arm.

The girl smiled. “Oh, I see. I don’t think you should be here if you’re only going to interfere in somebody else’s work.”

“Am I interfering, hun?” Anna asked Saeran.

Saeran was confused. They seemed to hate each other for no apparent reason.

“Well...”

“My babe is so polite!” the strange girl exclaimed.

“I don’t think my own darling would be disturbed because his _girlfriend_ visited him.”

“Oh, you’re really _my_ boy’s girlfriend? You look more like a stalker.”

“You’re so funny!” Anna exclaimed. “Sweetheart, when is your break?”

“In five minutes,” he answered.

“Sae, sweety, I’m going to need you downstairs,” the girl said.

Saeran sighed.

“Again?”

“Saeran,” Anna said, wantonly. “I’m going to need you _down there_. And it’s _urgent_.”

Anna repented her words in a minute. She blushed. Saeran blushed. The strange girl blushed. Saeran put his hand on Anna’s head.

“I’ll call you when I come back home.”

She agreed.

Later on, she received a message from him.

_You made me excited only with those words._

Anna blushed, but also smiled. That strange girl had no chance with him.

Saeran called her after work.

“Mmm... did you want something?”

“Tonight is New Year’s eve,” Anna started. “So I was wondering whether you would like to come over and dine with me and daddy.”

Saeran froze.

“Isn’t it a bit too early?” he replied.

Anna frowned.

“Babe, we’ve been dating for almost half a year. Besides, you met him at MC and Jaehee’s wedding.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“You coming or not?”

Saeran hesitated. He knew Anna was too patient. She was always waiting for him to advance, to be ready, and he just moved forward in their relationship at his own path, not making any effort to meet also her wishes or expectations. Maybe he should make the effort? She seemed excited about it and maybe his father was not so terrifying as he thought.

“Mmmm... okay.”

“Nice! Come here at seven. Love you!”

She hung up.

Saeran was looking at his wardrobe when Saeyoung got home with Yoosung.

“Hi, Saeran!”

“Where’s my favourite brother!?!”

“Saeyoung!” he yelled at him. “Lend me some clothing!”

“Eh? What’s up?”

Yoosung looked at him, blushing excited and smiling. Of course he already knew.

“I’m celebrating New Year at Anna’s,” Saeran answered, rolling his eyes.

Saeyoung’s eyes shone.

“Really?! I’ll give you something. Let’s see... Yoosung! Help us!”

“Yes!”

They seemed school girls going on a first date or dressing up a doll, Saeran thought. Finally, he decided to wear his brother white shirt and black trousers.

“Let me do your haaaair!” Saeyoung exclaimed.

“No! I’m leaving now!” Saeran ran away.

“Call me when you want me to pick you up!” Saeyoung yelled from the door while Saeran disappeared in the street. “You think he’ll be alright?” he asked Yoosung.

Yoosung nodded, smiling. Saeyoung grinned.

“And now,” he said “let me take care of my babe.” He took Yoosung in his arms to bed.

Saeran arrived to Anna’s a bit earlier than he should. He didn’t know whether to wait until the clock stuck seven or call Anna. He decided to wait. His phone rang.

“Saeran, are you already there?”

“Mmmm...”

“Come up, silly boy” she laughed. “So cute.”

He went upstairs to Anna’s apartment, annoyed and embarrassed.

“Saeran, hi!” Anna jumped to hug him when she saw him. It was embarrassing, but he was glad he had come, she looked so happy and excited. “Come here,” she took his hand. “Daddy!! Saeran is here!”

Anna’s father went out of the kitchen with a serious look. They stared at each other for some time, not sure of what to do.

“Shake your hands,” Anna urged them and they complied. “Daddy, I’m going to show Saeran my room, you keep cooking!” she said, taking her boyfriend’s hand again.

“Leave the door open!!” he exclaimed.

It was not a big apartment. It only had a small living-room and kitchen, two rooms and a bathroom, everything small, but really tidy and clean. The living-room was full of framed pictures of Anna and his father. She looked cute when she was little.

“This is my room. I’ve tidied it since you were coming,” she smiled, making Saeran blush. She didn’t need to make such a big fuss only because of him.

She opened the door and Saeran could see a small room with a bed, a desk and shelves. Almost everything was light purple and pink, and the bed was full of stuffed dolls which contrasted with the shelves, full of books and some judo trophies. He read the titles of the books. All of them seemed complicated and some were written in other languages.

“Do you like reading?” she asked him. “I’ve never seen you reading.”

“I don’t know. Almost all I’ve read where books about hacking and stuff.”

“Take this one. It’s really good.”

She gave him a thin book with a yellow cover. Saeran looked at it, intrigued. On the one hand, he wanted to give it a try, he was curious about which kind of book Anna had chosen for him. On the other hand, though, he was afraid he would not like it or wouldn’t be able to read it or understand it and that would disappoint her.

“I’ll give it a try, but I can’t promise I’ll understand it.”

Anna laughed.

“I’m glad you’ll make the effort.”

Her father called them from the living room.

The dinner was good, but the conversation seemed almost a monologue by Anna. She was talking all the time, almost forgetting she had to eat too, and looked bright and excited about New Year. Apparently, she was excited for all the things to come, for she thought the next year would be completely different. Saeran didn’t really care about it. After all, a year was only an artificial measure of time, nothing indicated things had to change. Still, he couldn’t help smiling at Anna and he thought she maybe could be right. Maybe that year would be good if she was with him just like now.

They finished dinner and Saeran offered to do the dishes with Anna, which her father liked, but insisted on doing himself. The three of them ended up at the kitchen, Anna messing with Saeran while they tried to clean the things.

Anna’s father seemed to be more comfortable as the evening went by, which also made Saeran be so. He took an album and started showing him Anna’s pictures when she was a baby and little girl. She was so cute Saeran couldn’t help but smiling. She didn’t seem embarrassed of them, which broke all the cliché. There was even one in which she was having a bath, with shampoo on her head and her hair up in a funny do.

“Daddy would always mess with my hair when he gave me baths,” she laughed.

Anna went to the toilet and left them alone, which almost made Saeran die. They looked at each other for some time.

“Do you study?” he asked.

“I work in a shop.”

“I see... You live with your brother, right?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have parents?” he asked.

Saeran didn’t know what to answer.

“Daddy, don’t be so noooosy!” Anna exclaimed, back to rescue Saeran.

Fortunately, her father decided to give the poor child a break and didn’t ask more questions. Anna saw him. He seemed to like Saeran.

“He’s shy, I think,” Anna’s father told her when Saeran went to the toilet, “but he doesn’t seem a bad person.”

“He’s the best, daddy,” she kissed his cheek.

“I like that he seems to respect me.”

“Of course he does!”

They were getting ready for midnight when Anna received a call. She went to another room to take it.

“It was my mother,” she said, coming back, apparently not in a good mood. “Now, let the countdown start!”

The clock struck 12 and Anna and his father applauded and embraced each other.

“Daddy, bring the drinks!” Anna asked.

His father went to the kitchen and Anna turned to Saeran.

“Please, take care of me also this year!” She grabbed his shirt and brought him closer to her, meeting her lips with his. “Happy New Year,” she smiled, fondly.

“Happy New Year,” Saeran tried to hide his blush.

And they kissed again just before Anna’s father came in the room again knowing that that year was going to be just perfect.


	18. Meeting my In-laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen takes the step to go and call his family and asks Yuuki to go with him for their first family reunion in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter!
> 
> This one has some fluff and smut scenes towards the end.
> 
> I hope you like it! Thank you for reading <3

“Have you got a moment, babe?”

Zen’s voice sounded worried and serious. It was also weird that he asked me if I had a moment, normally he would just start talking about anything, himself most of the time... still, he was cute.

“Sure. Is anything the matter?”

“Mmmm... I finally called my family.”

He remained silent for a while.

“And how was it?”

“I don’t know, we argued... They asked me to have lunch with them to talk things over more carefully. Mmm... what do you think?”

“I think it’s a good idea, actually” I replied, eating my pancakes.

“Want to come?”

“Eh?”

I almost chocked with my pancake when he asked me that. What should I do in a family fight?

“I think I could be calmer with you by my side.”

Ok, don’t judge me, I’m too into him and those words melted me. I’m too lovey-dovey. Damn me.

“Okay, we could try, I guess.”

“Yes! Thanks, Yuuki, you’re the best. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at twelve. Don’t worry, they already know you’re coming. I love you!”

Damn Zen.

And so he did. He picked me up and we went to his parent’s home in the neighbouring village. They lived in a house, neither too big nor small, and looked welcoming. I was wrong. We knocked the door and a woman appeared behind it. She was a tall, thin woman, her grey and brown hair tidied up and her look was serious and judging, as if looking for faults in each inch of our being. And that was my mother in law.

We entered the house and she greeted us dryly. I could feel Zen’s tension. He took my hand, though I was not much better. She lead us silently to the living room, where his father and the man of the other day were waiting for us.

“You must be Yuuki,” his brother said. “Thank you for taking care of Hyun.”

“Nice to meet you,” I answered.

His father only nodded at me. Who did Zen get his happiness from? They remained silent for a while until his brother broke the ice, thankfully.

“Hyun, listen, we don’t want to argue. We want you to know we are very sorry you didn’t feel supported.”

“It’s not that I didn’t feel supported, it’s that you never supported me in the first place. None of you. I was always treated with contempt and as if I never knew what real life was, but I won. I became an actor, and my popularity is only increasing...”

“Hyun, we are apologising.”

“No, you’re not, you’re trying to make me think it was my fault to believe you didn’t support me.”

“I didn’t choose the right words, I’m sorry.”

Zen continued complaining. It was like talking to a brick. And why didn’t his parents say anything?

“We cared about you,” his brother said.

The conversation jumped from a topic to the other, Zen bringing out all the things he felt resentful for, his brother trying to justify himself without giving a real apology. That couldn’t even be called conversation, it lacked all cohesion and understanding. I was starting to understand Paul Auster’s reflection about the unintelligibility of a language that is corrupted and my brain was about to implode, when Zen’s father stood up and interrupted the ‘conversation:’ he went out of the room.

Was he going to the toilet? What the fuck? Mr Ryu, do something, for God’s sake. I wanted to go to the toilet too, and never come back. 

I took Zen by the sleeve of his t-shirt, and he looked at me. I hoped my look talked for myself. I felt uncomfortable. I felt all of them were idiots. I wanted them to embrace each other and confess they’ve missed each other and eat that damn cake I saw in the kitchen when we entered.

Zen’s father entered just before I spoke my mind, which I was grateful for. He was bringing a big album with him, which he put on the table. Zen’s brother and mother opened their eyes and blushed a little. What was that?

Zen looked expectant and suspiciously while his father opened it. First, there were Zen’s photos when he was a child –I didn’t scream because the atmosphere was too tense, but believe me, they were pure gold –and as the album advanced, fragments of newspapers started to appear. Of course, they were about Zen. All of the news of his musicals, even those in which he only appeared as an extra, had been cut down and pasted there, the dates written with a pen in the margins of the album.

“We were wrong, Hyun. We’re proud of you,” the man said.

Zen covered his mouth with his hand, passing the sheets of the album, starting to cry. I rubbed his back, smiling.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” I smiled.

Zen looked at me and hugged me.

“Zen, I’m not the one who should be embraced now. Your mother is looking,” I whispered. “Zen, for God’s sake!”

He laughed.

His family looked at us, embarrassed. He finally broke the embrace and turned to his family. He apologised for being stubborn, thanks God, and he embraced his brother and father. His mother and he looked at each other for a moment.

“I still don’t approve of your lifestyle and your career. I would have preferred that you chose a more certain and stable profession.”

“This is my passion, and I am not going to give in,” Zen stated.

His mother looked at me.

“She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she? She looked uncomfortable in the pictures the journalists took the other day. Does she approve of this?”

No way. Was she going to use me as a weapon to make Zen renounce his dream?

Zen looked at me, remembering how uncomfortable I felt with the journalists, hurt. He was going to say something, but I talked before he could answer.

“If it wasn’t for his career I wouldn’t have known him,” I started. “I am his biggest fan,” I smiled.

Zen blushed, surprised, and his mother raised an eyebrow.

“And what will you do when you have to renounce to a peaceful life? Maybe you cannot live always in the same place and that makes you renounce to your career, or to having children, you know?”

I laughed.

“I am going to become an art critic, I can follow him wherever he goes. To say more, I am willing to do that. Zen... Hyun is the most important thing in my life now, if he didn’t pursue his dreams because of me I’d feel like crap. I mean, I’d feel very bad,” I blushed. “I want him to be happy.”

She opened her eyes in surprise while Zen became teary again and hugged me. I just wanted him to stop overreacting in front of his parents, I was so embarrassed. Still, my words were embarrassing too. And he was cute.

“You’re not helping him,” she said.

“Am I not helping him or you?” I replied.

Fuck. My mother in law was going to hate me after half an hour with her and a five minutes conversation, I am so clever. 

She laughed.

She

Fucking

Laughed

“Hyun, does this girl have no filter or common sense? Gosh, you want me to hate you after a five minutes conversation?”

“I don’t want to,” I complained.

Zen’s brother and father laughed. Why was all his family laughing at me all of a sudden? Zen looked at them.

“She’s just perfect, so shut up.”

“I’ll ignore both of you,” his mother said. “Let’s eat something.”

She gave me the cake and I was over the moon. Zen looked on a bad mood, but was behaving, which was good, and his family as well.

I praised the cake and Zen’s mother smiled. She had done it herself. She gave me another piece, which I ate, as well as the other she gave me afterwards. They looked at me, surprised, while Zen smiled at me, lovingly. 

“You have chocolate in the corners of your mouth,” he laughed and I cleaned them, blushing. “You’re so cute,” he whispered.

His family heard it, of course, and they looked at us as if asking us to stop before they developed diabetes. After a while, Zen’s father showed me the album again.

“You seemed to like these ones,” he said, showing me child Zen’s photos.

“Oh, my, yes!” I couldn’t help exclaiming.

I fangirled with each picture.

“I was really cute, wasn’t I?” Zen smiled. “Well, she said I was ugly,” she pointed at his mother, though I wasn’t really listening, too concentrated on dying with every picture.

“And now you look like a narcissist. I wanted to avoid that,” she answered.

“You traumatised me!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, my God!!! Disguised as a puppy!!!!!” I almost cried.

“That was for a theatre in primary school,” his father explained. “He was the main character. All the mothers fell in love with him.”

“Do you have a copy of this one?”

“Sure, you can keep it if you want to.”

I embraced him. I was going to cry. Zen’s brother laughed.

“We are together here.”

Zen was still arguing with his mother, of course.

“Oh, you were so cute too!” I exclaimed.

Zen turned to us.

“What do you mean he was cute too? I was cuter!”

He looked at Zen, surprised.

“You both were cute,” I teased him.

“But look at me more attentively. I had bigger eyes and my hair is more beautiful. I was cuter.”

I laughed.

“I don’t want to offend your brother, but I must confess you were cuter,” I laughed.

“Of course I was!” he hugged me.

I was in fangirl mode, so I yelled when he embraced me, which made Zen’s brother laugh.

“Yes, he was.”

Zen resumed the argument with his mother and I went back to that treasure this good man had showed me.

I looked at my phone a bit later.

“Oh, shi...” I looked around me and controlled my swearing. “Zen, I have to go home. I haven’t finished my article. I can go by bus if you want to stay longer.”

“It’s okay, babe, I’ll take you.”

We stood up and said good bye.

Zen continued angry at his mother.

“Come on, Zen, don’t look so pissed off. We had a good time, hadn’t we? And they apologised.”

“My mother didn’t. She’s unbearable.”

“Still, aren’t you happy to have a better relationship with them?”

He sighed.

“I guess...”

His relationship indeed was better, but they never got as close as I thought they would become. Zen visited them from time to time, and kept in contact, but it was true her mother was impossible, his brother would always take her side in the arguments and his father was too passive. He would just talk to me whenever things got worse or look at them, silent.

But Zen also knew it was better than not having a family at all.

They went to see some on his musicals, and even his mother cried in one of them. That was the only time I saw them hugging.

Zen took me home.

“Zen, I wanted to ask you something,” I said, going down his bike.

“Just ask, princess,” he replied, taking my chin and kissing my lips.

“Well, first of all, I’m just silly. I had to go to an art exhibition and write a review, but I... happened to forget it?”

He pinched my nose.

“Silly girl.”

“I know. The thing is, you told me you knew a famous photographer, right? Maybe if I got access to his pictures and write a review about them my professor wouldn’t kill me so much.”

“Mmm... It’s Yoosung and Jumin who have access to his apartment, but I think there shouldn’t be any problems.”

“Oh, I’ll talk to Jumin Han then.”

“You deserve your professor to be mad at you, though,” he smiled mischievously.

I sighed.

“I know, but you love me, right?” I hugged him.

“That’s foul play!”

“It is!” I exclaimed, licking his ear. “But you cannot deny you like it, and today I’ve been a good girl, haven’t I?”

Zen moaned lowly.

“You have.”

“Give me my reward, then,” I asked, playfully.

He took me in his arms and we went upstairs.

“Open the door,” he asked, panting, kissing and licking my neck.

“So impatient,” I grinned.

“I can’t wait to eat you,” he replied, biting my neck.

I moaned, finally opening the door. He closed it and pulled me against the wall while we made up and started unbuttoning my trousers.

“Bedroom,” he moaned, taking me in his arms again.

He threw me to the bed and took off his t-shirt. I put a hand under my trousers, looking at him hungry for his body, watching him as he got completely naked.

“How’s the impatient one now?” he grinned, taking my hands and lifting them above my head with one hand, caressing my breast with the other and kissing me.

He took off my clothes and pulled my legs apart, placing himself between my inner thighs, licking softly between them while looking up at me to see my reaction. I moaned, arching my back.

He teased me, licking me close to my crotch.

“Zen, please,” I moaned, grabbing his hair and guiding him to my entrance again.

He laughed, making me tremble.

He pulled two fingers inside of me while licking and sucking, which made me moan and yell his name. His own moans felt good again my skin and made me sensible and needy.  
I came soon, making him let out a low chuckle. He licked his wet lips while looking at me.

“You’re as tasty as I thought.”

I turned around, and lifted my ass, looking back at him, still needy. He caressed me, chuckling and teasing my entrance with his hardness.

“You’re a wanton kitten.”

“Meow,” I grinned.

“This won’t do, I’m allergic,” he replied, biting the small of my back.

I moaned.

He pulled two fingers inside me again. I yelled his name.

“But I cannot resist you,” he whispered in my ear, licking it while he moved away his fingers and got inside of me, slowly, making me groan and move with need.

We started to fight for control, changing our position, teasing the other. We knew our bodies well enough by that time as to know what would make the other yield, so it was a close fight. I finally ended up on top of him, making him yell my name while he tried to grab my waist to take control, but I wouldn’t let him.

He came little afterwards and finished me with his hand.

We cuddled and laughed as I tried to escape from his tickles, that silly boy. I jumped out of the bed and got dressed when I remembered I had to study. He laughed at me.  
Zen prepared dinner while I finished my article.

“Do you prefer me to call you Hyun or Zen?” I asked.

He laughed.

“I don’t mind, and I guess you would take too long to get used to call me Hyun.”

I frowned.

“I could get used to.”

He kissed my cheek.

“Don’t get mad at me, princess.”

I pinched his nose.

I called Jumin Han after dinner to ask him about the photos of his friend.

“Mmmm... I know an association which could get you tickets for the exhibition you needed to go to in the first place. Would you like Assistant Kang to contact them?”

“For real?” I exclaimed.

Zen looked at me, inquiring.

“Yes, it doesn’t suppose any problem for any of us.”

“That would be great! Thank you, Jumin Han.”

“No need to thank me. I will go as well, most probably, so I’ll see you there.”

“Sure.”

“Bye then.”

We hung up and I told Zen what happened.

“I don’t like you owe a favour to that dude,” he frowned.

“Don’t be like that, Zen, he’s being helpful.”

“Are you really going to accept his help?”

“Why not?”

“He has all those privileges because he was born a rich dude, it has no merit.”

“Don’t be so unfair, he works his ass off. Besides, that has nothing to do with accepting his help.”

“That’s a reason for not accepting it. Besides, you have to do your duties on your own.”

“I don’t think there’s any harm in accepting help, and it’s not as if he were writing the review,” I complained. “I don’t want you to think my work has no merit just because someone helped me.”

He looked at me.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“You implied it.”

He stood silent, thoughtful.

“I guess you’re right,” he concluded.

I sighed.

“Silly boy.”

“Come here,” he asked, opening his arms. “I just don’t like he has all those benefits just for being born in that family, but I guess you have a point when you say he also works hard.”

I kissed his cheek.

“Of course I’m right,” I grinned.

He laughed.

We spent the rest of the night watching one of his musicals, I think he fangirled with himself more than I, and went to bed early since he had rehearsal the next day and I had to go to Uni. It was a nice night, full of songs, popcorn, after-shower sex, and dreams.


	19. When your boyfriend tells you he has something to talk about don't forget and go hang out with friends because it might be important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki goes to the painting exhibition with Jumin Han and hangs out with friends afterwards, forgetting Zen needed to talk to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the impression that this new chapter is longer than usual? Well, either way, I hope you like it!
> 
> Anna is finally appearing as part of the main story and new OCs are introduced in this chapter. I hope you like them! Also, Vanderwood is going to make their appearance too! :3
> 
> Thank you for reading

I went to the exhibition and met Jumin Han at the front door of the building.

“Good morning, Yuuki. Here are your tickets.”

“Thank you, Jumin Han! I owe you this one.”

“It’s nothing. Besides, you helped me the last time.”

And that was settled.

The exhibition was gorgeous. The paintings had a classic style, which I was grateful for since I don’t like contemporary art. Really, how can an Ikea glass be considered art? How? I could as well take pictures to the fire extinguisher hanging on the wall and people wouldn’t think I’m crazy.

I took notes of every piece and Jumin Han looked at them, curious. I gave him my notebook and he read them, agreeing with my opinion, fortunately. I wouldn’t like to start arguing with the man who had helped me. We went to another room, where we happened to find the author. He was talking to some journalist and Jumin Han invited me to approach him when he finished the interview. He introduced us.

“Nice to meet you, Yuuki. Are you enjoying the exhibition?” he asked.

“Very much,” I smiled.

“I’m happy to hear that. Can I see your notes?” he asked, looking at my notebook.

I blushed.

“Mmmmm... noooope?”

They chuckled at my reaction.

“If you’re to become a critic, people will read what you write.”

“But this is only a draaaaaaaaft,” I insisted.

“Okay,” he laughed. “At least let me show you my favourites ones and you tell me what you think of them, alright?”

I agreed.

It was so interesting. It was the first time I could experience art from the author’s point of view. Still, I gave him my own interpretation, of course. It was like a game. I told him what I saw in the paintings and he told me what he had actually tried to convey, which was interesting for both of us. Jumin Han intervened sometimes, he had a refined taste and it was easy for him to talk about art with him.

But it was not as comfortable as it could have been, since I could hear the cameras and whispering of the journalists behind us, they were so annoying.

“I would like to invite you two to have lunch, if that’s okay,” the painter said. “It would have been a boring morning if it hadn’t been for you.”

We accepted, most gladly.

The journalists surrounded us at the exit. They were making a fuss at me being seen again with Jumin Han even though I was Zen’s girlfriend and I wanted to smash their cameras on their faces. Fortunately, Jumin Han and the painter answered all their questions in a satisfactory manner, and one of the journalists realised I was wearing the necklace Zen had given to me in Christmas, with the ‘Z’ printed on it, so they stopped bothering us with that subject.

We went to the painter’s home to have lunch, but spent most of the time touring his house to see all the pieces of art he owned. It was a big luxurious house, decorated in a sophisticated and classic manner, filled by all kinds of works of art in the form of paintings, ceramics, books and music, of course. He discovered I wanted to specialise in music and musical theatre, so we had lunch listening to some classics and he performed for us in the dessert, playing that magnificent piano of his. I felt like Elizabeth Bennet at Pemberley.

Besides, the food was awesome, of course. And the dessert. Oh, God, that dessert. It was a chocolate coulant with mango ice-cream, cream and strawberry jam. I couldn’t help moaning in pleasure after the first bite (and the second, the third, the fourth...).

Zen called me after the dessert.

“Hi, babe, guess what? Jumin Han and I are having a lot of fun with the author of the paintings of the exhibition. He has a great house, with lots of works of art, and he’s playing the piano right now. I wish you were here.”

Zen chuckled.

“Sounds nice, though I don’t like the idea of you being alone with two men.”

“They are not two men, they’re Jumin Han and the painter.”

“What time are you going back home? I wanted to talk to you about something.”

He couldn’t hide the joy in his words when he heard that I didn’t even consider Jumin Han and the artist as men.

“Mmmmm... I don’t want to go home late since I want to finish the review asap!” I exclaimed. “So I guess I’ll be there around... six in the afternoon? I guess.”

“Okay, just call me when you get home and I’ll go and visit. See you later. I love you, princess.”

“See you!”

Jumin Han and I decided to go back home at five, which was a good time. He took me to my apartment and when I was going to get into the building a friend from Uni called me.

“Yuuki! We are close to your home, want to hang out?”

I accepted without thinking, it’d been a long time since I last saw them (I told you, I have friends). We went to a pub.

“So you’re dating Zen, the actor?” Olivia asked me, eyes wide open.

“Yep!” I answered, a bit proudly.

“I guess Tom has lost his chance, then,” Sasha grinned mischievously.

“We knew that jumper was yours. I’m sorry Tom,” Olivia teased him.

He looked at us, blushing.

“I don’t like Yuuki!” he complained.

Of course he didn’t. We all knew he liked Olivia.

“Eternally friendzoned Tom, we’re sorry for you,” Sasha continued.

“Don’t tease me!” he exclaimed, poor boy.

I tried Zen’s famous beer and didn’t like it, poor boy. Still, I drank it since I had already paid for it.

I told them about the problems Jumin Han and I had had with the journalists.

“You seem to be surrounded by handsome men lately,” Sasha laughed. “It looks like an otome game or something.”

“What’s ‘otome’?” Tom asked.

“You’re too young to know, Tommy,” I answered and he frowned.

“I wouldn’t mind dating Jumin Han,” Olivia sighed.

Tom startled.

“You like oldies?” Sasha laughed.

“Yeah, a man of your age would suit you better!” Tom exclaimed, blushing.

“At our age boys cannot be considered men,” Olivia sighed.

Poor eternally friendzoned Tommy.

The hours passed faster than expected and soon it was time to have dinner. We went to eat some pizzas, and ate them at a park, drinking more beer. I know I said I didn’t like it, but for some reason I continued drinking. I think that’s how people get into it.

“I am so in love it’s disgusting,” I confessed. “I can’t wait to see him this afternoon.”

Olivia laughed.

“Yuuki, afternoon time has passed, it’s almost night.”

I froze. Fuck.

I took my phone. It was silenced since I forgot to turn the sound on after the exhibition. It was almost eleven now and I had at least 10 missed calls from Zen and one from my sister, but who cared about her then?

I called him.

“God, Yuuki, where are you?” his voice sounded angry but relieved.

“I’m at... hey, how’s this park called?” I asked my friends.

They all shrugged their shoulders. They are so useless. Same as me, I guess.

“I don’t know the name, but it’s a park, and I can see... a Mc Donald’s from here... and...”

“Yuuki, you have any idea of how many MC Donald’s are there near parks in this city? God... I’ll ask Saeyoung to track you and I’ll pick you up.”

Hey, why did he have to pick me up?

“Hey, why do you have to pick me up?”

“You don’t even know where you are, sound drunk and I told you I needed to talk to you. Besides, I’m mad at you. Just wait for me there.”

“Zenny, don’t be maaaad,” I complained, but he hung up, clever boy. “He’s mad at me,” I told them.

“It’s understandable,” they all answered.

I frowned.

He finally came and I introduced him to my friends. He smiled and looked charming as always, but I could feel his anger. I was scared. We got home and he started to scold me.

“You have any idea of how worried I was?!” he exclaimed. “I called you thousands of times and you never picked up, I looked for you, came to your apartment. I even called that jerk to ask about you.”

The beers made me cry.

“I’m sooooooorryyyyyyyyy!” I exclaimed.

He seemed to forget his anger a bit at my cry.

“Okay, babe. Come, don’t cry,” he said, hugging me. “You’ve been drinking beer?” he asked.

I nodded. He sighed.

“Silly girl.”

I sadly fell asleep.

The next day, we ate pancakes in a renewed good mood for breakfast. I had forgotten again Zen had to talk to me about something, but he reminded me. The poor boy had been postponing it until then.

“What’s up?” I asked, filling my mouth with a piece of pancake covered by cream and chocolate syrup.

“I’ve been thinking... why don’t you come and live with me?”

I almost chocked.

“Go live with you?” I asked.

“Mmmm... yes, why not?” he rubbed his neck, nervous.

“No! I mean, I went to live here because I wanted to live alone!” I exclaimed, panicking. “Aaaaah! This is too sooooon!”

Zen looked sad and disappointed. Fuck.

“Don’t look at me like that! Mmm... I think it caught me by surprise? Let me think.”

I put two fingers on my temples and closed my eyes. Zen was freaking out while he stared at me. He didn’t know if he had screwed it, he knows how easily I can feel pressured. But still, haven’t we been dating for a long time now? We almost lived together already. Why did I have to make a fuss about all these kinds of things?

I started to think about what I wanted to do. I left behind the pressure and thought about what I really, really wanted. Living with Zen could be great, almost perfect. We were together all the time already, and living with him would only make things better and easier. We would be able to have dinner together almost every day, and breakfast, and sex... Besides, Zen would respect my privacy, I knew that since he could also be a very independent person. Still, I needed more time.

“Ask me again next month,” I concluded.

He sighed. At least it wasn’t a ‘no. ’

“I need to think about it,” I added.

“Okay,” he sighed.

He did seem a bit disappointed still.

“I’m sorry I was too rude,” I bit my low lip.

“It’s okay. I’ll go home now and let you finish the review.”

The review. Fuck. Right.

“Zen,” I called him when he was putting on his coat. “I love you.”

He smiled. Finally!

“I love you too.”

I smiled.

I finished the review and got a high mark. Yey!

Next month he asked me again. I had completely forgotten about it. Just kidding. It was the only thing I could think about the entire month.

“I’ve been thinking about it...” I said, biting my lower lip, looking at him from the corner of my eyes, avoiding direct eye contact. He sighed. “I’m not sure...” he frowned, disappointed. “I’m not sure whether all my books would fit in your shelves, so maybe we should buy a new one.”

He looked at me, surprised. I grinned, mischievously.

“Is that a yes?”

I nodded, laughing.

He took me in his arms and kissed me and hugged me, tickling me.

“Stop!!!” I yelled, laughing.

“You’re so mean tricking me!” he exclaimed, laughing.

We fell on the floor and had sex for the last time in that apartment.

When I told my parents they complained, teasing me, for I had gone to that apartment to live alone. I laughed. My mother would bake a cake to celebrate it. My sister complained about being the older and not living with a partner yet. Of course she didn’t, she’s single. She was happy about us, of course, and offered to buy new sexual toys, she’s always thinking about the same thing. I accepted, most willingly.

The RFA wanted us to meet to celebrate it, but it wouldn’t be possible to meet at Jumin Han’s apartment, since the last time we did Saeyoung almost got to kidnap Elizabeth 3rd, so we decided to meet at his home instead. I asked if I could invite my sister, suggestion gladly accepted. Saeyoung would also invite two people I didn’t know, one called Anna, the other Vanderwood. Fair enough.

It was a nice evening. My sister would arrive late, as usual, she only arrived on time when she came to my home hours before to arrange my outfit. I met Saeyoung’s guests and loved them. I had already seen Anna a couple of times, for she was notorious at the University. That was when Yoosung and I realised we actually studied at the same campus, we’re so silly. Apparently, she was Saeran’s girlfriend, they looked so cute together.

When I first saw Vanderwood I had to make the greatest effort ever to hold my tongue. The words wouldn’t stop forming in my head, fighting to come out. Are you a girl? Really? Are you a boy? Which pronoun should I use? I was confused, but I wanted to be respectful and be careful not offend them.

“Mary Vanderwood does a great job as a maid!!!” Saeyoung exclaimed pointing at the shinning bright table. He was damn right. It was almost scaring how clean everything looked.

Finally, my sister arrived.

“This is Mimi,” I introduced her.

“Oh, my, you’re so cute!” she exclaimed at Saeyoung. “Let’s become besties.”

“I have a new besty!” he exclaimed.

They’re mad. Yoosung looked at them, puzzled, but didn’t complain. He just thought how cute his boyfriend could be.

“Why is everybody here so handsome?” she whispered to me.

“I don’t know, it’s crazy.”

She was introduced to Mary Vanderwood. She looked at them for a while and I thought the same question was forming in his head. Then, she surprised me for the first time in my life. She suddenly blushed, I hadn’t seen her blushing since she was 14, and looked to the floor, putting a lock of hair behind her ear in a shyly fashion. What the fuck was happening? Vanderwood looked at her, indifferently, and Mimi realised.

“I have a crush,” she confessed me afterwards.

“What the fuck, Mimi?”

“It was love at first sight, and I’m going to get them.”

She first informed Saeyoung and asked for help. He laughed his ass off, but seemed charmed at the idea. She proceeded to follow Vanderwood wherever they went even though Saeyoung advised her not to do that. Of course, Mimi, no one likes to be stalked by a strange girl.

They seemed annoyed by my sister, of course. Still, it was funny watching them and Saeyoung and I had always an eye on them.

“What are you two up to?” Zen asked, annoyed at not knowing what was going on.

“My sister likes Vanderwood,” I answered.

“Really?”

“Yep, she says it’s love at first sight.”

Zen seemed charmed at the idea and helped her stalking them. He tried to leave them alone and encourage conversation between them. I really started to pity Vanderwood, but nothing would stop those two. Surprisingly enough, my sister’s efforts seemed to be fruitful, for I suddenly saw Vanderwood smile at something my sister said. Good luck, Mimi, I thought.

We went home soon, since we finally finished moving next day.

I found Mrs Morrison entering home.

“Yuuki, darling, are you moving?” she asked, smiling as usual.

“I am, Mrs Morrison.”

“Oh, you’re going to live with that handsome man, right? Such a pity, I really thought I could match you with my boy,” she laughed.

I laughed too.

“Wait here of a second.”

She got inside her home and went out again with a tray full of muffins.

“I baked them this morning as a present for you, my girl, I know you like them. Why don’t you come over from time to time, I will feel alone when I don’t hear you at the other side of the wall.”

I was so touched. And embarrassed. Did she hear everything?

“I will, Mrs Morrison,” I smiled.

“See you later, super hero.”

I smiled.

We finished taking my things to Zen’s home the next morning, sooner than expected, which was fortunate since he had a rehearsal that afternoon and I had to write an essay.

It felt strange being alone at Zen’s basement. It also felt strange calling it ‘our home,’ but, God, it felt better than I thought. It made my chest feel warm and happy. I was eating Mrs Morrison’s muffins when my sister called.

“I have to tell you,” she said, excited, pausing after every word.

“I can’t wait to hear it,” I replied.

“Well, I invited Vandy to hang out after the party with your friends. They didn’t look keen at first, but I insisted and Saeyoung asked them to clean the mess, so they came with me to avoid him.” Well done, Saeyoung. “We went to a pub and ordered some beers. They told me a bit about them, not much since they said their past was complicated, which I understood. They seemed to like that. I told them I also had a complicated past and that we should focus on the present, which made them bush. Vandy looked so damn cute blushing... I never thought I would see them blush, oh, my. It caught me completely out of guard and I kissed them.”

“Oh, my God. What did they say?”

“They seemed flustered at first and asked me what the hell was I doing, which made me blush. I couldn’t believe I was turning so shy, I’m not like that!” she exclaimed. “I asked them if they didn’t like it, but Vandy didn’t answer and acted as if nothing had happened, which actually gave me some confidence. We ended up having some shots and stuff and before we could realise what was happening, I was at their apartment, making up with them while we took off our clothes.”

“For real?!” I exclaimed.

“For real.”

“What do they have down there?!” I asked.

“That’s irrelevant!”She exclaimed. “The thing is...”

“Please, don’t be too graphic,” I begged her.

She laughed.

“The thing is,” she proceeded, “I think I had the best shag I had in my life, oh my God, they were so...”

“I don’t want to know!” I yelled.

“They touched me so well, just in...”

“Mimi, I’m going to hang up if you continue, for God’s sake, I’m your sisteeeeer!” I exclaimed.

She laughed.

“To sum up, it was awesome. And they seemed quite satisfied as well, they wouldn’t stop panting and moaning even after we finished,” I was going to complain again, but she interrupted me. “But they refused to give me their number,” she cried.

“Eh? Why?”

“They told me I had to forget about them!”

“I’ll give you Saeyoung’s number, I’m sure he’ll help you.”

“Yuuki, you’re the best!”

No one fucks my sister and kicks her out while I’m still alive.

I had dinner alone since Zen had to compensate at work the days he had been helping me moving. I waited for him until he finally got home, looking exhausted. I was so happy when I heard the keys and he came in.

“What is my princess doing awake?” he smiled.

I hugged him.

“I was waiting for you.”

He laughed.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

I just wanted to kiss and cuddle with him, I wouldn’t even let him have a shower. We solved the problem easily and had a shower together.

I thought I would never fall asleep, I was so excited I was finally living with him, but eventually the fatigue of the day defeated me and I closed my eyes in Zen’s arms, feeling home.


	20. When you have a perfect life with your love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki and Zen have a happy life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the last chapter!!
> 
> I really had a good time writing this story, so I hope you really liked it and want to continue reading the third part of the series <3
> 
> Also, tomorrow I will try to upload a small epilogue, so look forward to it!
> 
> Thank you for reading :3

Life with Zen was easier than expected. We had our separate routines that met at breakfast and dinner, though sometimes we would have dinner separately with friends.

Eventually, Zen had to move to the furthest side of the country and things became complicated, since I couldn’t follow him due to my studies. I constantly received calls from his mother urging me to convince him to come back, but honestly, I wouldn’t do that. I had always the TV on by that time and I jumped to the sofa to watch my boyfriend whenever there was some news about him, even though we were constantly talking via Skype. Still, I think I’ve never missed someone as much as I missed him.

He came back a year later, and I thought I would go crazy when I saw him at the airport. Yes, I did hit the glass door. Remember the YOI chapter in which Viktor meets Yuuri at the airport? Imagine Viktor running to him before the doors open while shouting and crying. That’s me. And that image was on the telly the next day, of course. Thank God, Zen’s fans considered us an adorable couple by then and their commentaries were sympathetic.

We came back to our wonderful routine.

Before finishing my degree I got to have a critical article published (yay!) so after I finished it I was called by several newspaper and magazines to work for them. The only condition I had was that I wouldn’t write a critic of a performance by Zen, which they found reasonable. I had to write a couple anyway, but we never fought about the content, it was the public who felt more uncomfortable about them, though I tried to remain professional (and I think I was).

We got to travel and move around together, which was great, and could save some money as we didn’t need to lead an extravagant life. Most of our expenses had the form of chocolate.

I was writing an article when I finished my third cup of tea that day and finally felt the urgent need to pee. I went to the bathroom and waited some seconds until the screen said something to me. Why does it have to take so long? Normally I would chat with Zen, nervously, as we waited, but he was out today and that made me feel more nervous. Finally, the symbol started to appear. Oh, God. Oh, my fucking God.

“Aaaaah!” I screamed. “Oh, my God!!! Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!!”

That was the second time in my life that I freaked out in Zen’s bathroom, our bathroom now. I jumped all over it, falling down a couple of times, of course. I remembered I couldn’t do those things now and I stood still. Or so I tried.

I couldn’t stop glancing at the clock. When the fuck would Zen arrive home? How the fuck would I tell him?! Then I had an idea. I cut three pieces of cake, I had read that somewhere, and placed two of them in front of my chair, one in front of Zen’s. Eventually, he came.

“Hi, princess!”

“Hi, Zen, how was work?”

My legs wouldn’t stop shaking, so I decided not to stand up.

“It was perfect. I was perfect. The others also did it well, but, honestly, I think...” he kept on for a while talking about his rehearsal and I thought I would have a stroke before he could even notice the fucking pieces of cake. “Did you finish your article?” he asked.

“Not yet, but I wanted to eat something with you before I resumed the work,” I smiled.

“You’re so cute,” he kissed me, sitting down.

He started eating the cake. He didn’t notice. What the fuck?

“It’s to celebrate,” I said.

“Celebrate what?”

I pointed at the two pieces of cake, smiling, hoping that he would notice.

“What’s up?” he asked. “Why did you use two plates today?”

Of, fuck, I always ate two pieces of cake.

“The cake is for two people.”

He looked at me, puzzled.

“You invited someone?”

“Fuck, Hyun Ryu, I’m pregnant!!!!!!” I yelled.

He froze. He stood up and run to hug me.

“For real?!”

“For reaaaaal!! Aaaaaah!!!!” I exclaimed.

We started to jump, laughing and screaming, all over the room, until we remembered I shouldn’t to those kinds of things now. Our baby was going to be a damn survivor.

“For real?” he asked again.

“Of course! I would never joke with something like that! Have I ever told you something that wasn’t true? Well, except when we met and I told you I don’t have Instagram account.”

“You have an Instagram account?”

Fuck. My name on Instagram was YuuZen2931 and I only had Zen’s pictures and videos of his and other actor’s performances. We laughed about it, he laughed more than I, and we called my family to tell them we had to meet, as well as Zen’s family and the RFA. All of us were so excited, including the RFA members.

The fans were crazy about it. They were more impatient than us to have the child out of me, they would have pull it out if they could (okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but you know, fans).

My sister bought all kinds of clothing and complements for the baby, including dresses, even though we didn’t know the sex yet. Poor Vandy followed her whenever she went, for they were dragged by my sister, poor creature. I still don’t know what kind of relationship they have, by the way, but they seem happy, so it should be ok.

We were constantly uploading pictures of my prominent belly on Instagram, Twitter and all that, and I cried when a fan made a draw based on one of the pictures.

I cried a lot. I could wake up in the middle of the night and cry for chocolate or because I pitied the poor countries of the world, I was such a mess. Fortunately, Zen sang to me until I fall asleep again.

We decided to move to a bigger and not-underground place, thank you. Jaehee helped us finding one, that girl is amazing.

Finally, the nine months went by. I started to feel I was fucking dying and told Zen to go to the hospital. On our way there we had a nervous breakdown in which I couldn’t stop laughing while I tried to breathe and all that pregnant-about-to-give-birth stuff and Zen couldn’t stop crying. Jumin Han’s driver wanted to kill us both and the doctors wanted to give general anaesthesia to both of us. To the three of us when my sister came. To all the journalists when they arrived.

I could finally hold in my arms our beautiful girl. Seriously, she was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, she didn’t have Zen’s beautiful silver hair, but my black curly locks, but she had his eyes and pale skin. She didn’t have my freckles either.

My parents and parents in law were dying when they saw her, and the RFA as well.

Tsukihi grew beautiful and with a good taste for music, of course. And the fans loved her. All the boys in the kindergarten were always around her and I had to scold Zen a couple of times for frightening them, he is too protective.

It was difficult for her to fall asleep, so usually Zen and I performed an entire show for her, which sometimes only made her more excited, and eventually she would go to the living room and perform herself, dressing up with scarves and dresses. My family and RFA loved her performances, my mother in law not so much, but at least she didn’t say so in front of me.

When she finally fell asleep, Zen and I liked to cuddle on the sofa before going to bed, watching a film mute not to wake Tsukihi up, but we would never finish it, either because one of us fell asleep before or because we kept on making out and felt the need to go to the bedroom, and one of my favourites moments of the day was falling asleep, smiling, thinking that being a fangirl had led me to life the most beautiful life I could dream of.


	21. Epilogue

“Tsukihi, we are late!” I yelled at her for the third time that afternoon.

She kept on looking at herself in the mirror, the narcissist little girl.

“Mummy, you think Daddy will think I’m the most beautiful girl?”

“Of course, he always thinks so. Now hurry up or we will not be on time for the performance.”

She got down the stool and took my hand, smiling. Damn, she was so cute I couldn’t stay mad at her.

We got to the theatre just on time to wish Zen good luck with his new role before the play started.

“Baby, you look beautiful!” he exclaimed.

We never knew who he meant. Probably both, his daughter and I.

“Thank you, daddy!” Tsukihi exclaimed. “You look terrible!”

“That’s my role, princess,” he kissed her cheek

I laughed.

“You’re going to do it perfect,” I smiled.

He grinned.

“I’m glad you think so. I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

“You won’t. The role is perfect for you.”

He was going to cry, I swear.

We went to our seats after hugging and kissing him until the make-up artist complained. We were so excited we couldn’t stay still.

“Mummy, it’s starting!” Tsukihi whispered, excited, while the lights went down.

“Enjoy it, honey,” I kissed her forehead.

I would never forget how my heart jumped in excitement when the orchestra played that night the entrance of the most beautiful performance of _The Phantom of the Opera_ I’ve ever watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was it. It was short, but I wanted to give you a small after ending, so I hope you liked it ^^
> 
> Please, look forward for the third part of the series!


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